Deputy Dixon and the Sketch Artist
by gneebee
Summary: He's the Chief Deputy Sheriff with a reputation of walking a thin line, and being a shameless ladies man. She's a shy, quiet and reserved sketch artist. Their worlds are about to collide. Merle Dixon Beth Greene AU Drama/Romance
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Thanks for stopping by! I hope you'll enjoy my newest Merle and Beth story.  
**

She was just starting to wake up and she could swear she smelled a man, you know, like a man's after shave, or deodorant, something like that.

Her head was pounding as she opened her eyes and whispered to herself, "Oh no, where am I?"

She was in bed, but it definitely wasn't her bed or her bedroom. She just had to look around a little to know this was a man's bedroom. The heavy furniture, the lack of any sort of decoration or even a knick knack, the dark quilt. Oh dear, it all said 'man's room.'

Then her eyes landed on an overstuffed chair in the corner of the room. There was a sheriff deputy's uniform lying neatly over the back of it, and her dress was lying next to it.

Oh my God, what had she done? Who had she gone home with? It was then she noticed she was dressed in a man's t-shirt.

And then she saw the photo there on the nightstand. It was him with his younger brother. Oh it just couldn't be, oh my God, what had come over her? She couldn't even remember anything.

Please God, please wake me up from this dream, and she was pinching herself. It was no use, it wasn't a dream. She was in Merle Dixon's bed.

This day was not starting off well for Beth Greene. Not well at all.

xxxx

He'd stopped in the place just before going off duty. They'd had reports of young women being drugged and his boss, Rick Grimes, had asked him to drop by the joint, make his presence felt and maybe scare off any potential trouble.

Merle had a real talent for scaring off trouble, although the joke around the sheriff's department was he probably started as much trouble as he scared off.

Grimes didn't see it that way. He saw Merle as a valuable asset. There was a certain "rough element" in town, especially after methamphetamines had become the drug of choice. The drug element would be even harder to control without someone like Merle Dixon on the job.

Merle knew plenty about drugs.

He was a guy who knew what manufacturers and dealers were up to, knew their connections, knew when they were trying to get away with shit no one else would even suspect.

He'd been a part of their world. Lived that life.

Merle Dixon may be big, loud and crass, but Merle Dixon had a way of keeping crime down, while he walked a very fine line himself. Rick didn't question him much, mostly he really didn't want to know how Merle did what he did.

The solve rate was up, and the crime rate was down. That's what the Sheriff cared about.

After all, Sheriff is an elective office. Votes come when people feel safe, protected.

And that's why Merle Dixon was his Chief Deputy.

* * *

When he walked in the place things quieted right down, all eyes on him. Merle had a reputation for being mean, for going hard, for being a badass. He knew it and he used it to his advantage.

He saw a guy slip out the back door. He recognized him, didn't know him really but he'd seen him around.

That's when he spotted Beth Greene, and he couldn't have been more surprised. She was one of those girls you never would imagine coming in a bar. She seemed almost innocent, and a little introverted, definitely not the party girl type.

She worked at the Sheriff's Department and for the Courts. She was a sketch artist, the best anyone had ever seen. Merle was sure she could easily get a job in any big city, but then again she didn't seem like a big city girl.

And as much as she wasn't Merle Dixon's type there was something about her that got to him the first time he saw her. He couldn't put his finger on what that was exactly. He just knew that dammit, he had a bad case for her.

Sure she was pretty as could be, and that woman had some knock out eyes. And when she did smile it was big and expressive. But his favorite thing was the way she flushed up all pink in the cheeks when someone just spoke to her.

She was sweet as sugar that girl.

Just the kind of gal he didn't need in his life. Fuckin' around with his feelings and shit. Expecting more from him than what he wanted to give a woman.

And yet, even feeling like that, Merle had tried his damnedest to get her to go out with him. He turned the old Dixon charm up full blast, but she wasn't having any part of it. Nope.

He supposed she'd heard stories about him from the other ladies in the department.

He did have a reputation when it came to the women, he acknowledged that. Owned it. He liked the women. Nothing wrong with that.

But she wasn't the kind of gal you just took up with for a night, had a few drinks with, both of you knowing what was next. Sex and a sweet goodbye. No promise to call, no strings.

Everybody moving on. Simple, uncomplicated. That's the only kind of relationship he'd ever had, and the only kind he ever wanted.

And there were plenty of gals around who liked it that way too.

She definitely wasn't one of them.

Well fuck it, he couldn't deny it. He had a genuine attraction to her. He knew he'd never had that feeling for anyone else. And he just didn't know what to do with it.

But then again, it didn't seem to matter. Because Beth Greene wouldn't give him the time of day.

xxxx

She saw the bedroom had an attached bathroom, thank God for that at least. She took her dress in with her and she'd been relieved that at least she still had her bra and panties on.

She washed her face, took the ponytail out, ran her fingers through her hair as best she could, and put the ponytail back in.

She squeezed some toothpaste on the end of her finger and made an effort to sort of brush her teeth.

Her dress looked to be in good shape and she put it on, then neatly folded his t-shirt and set it on the dresser, she slipped her sandals on and then she knew there was no more stalling.

She knew she had to walk out of that bedroom and face him, and she almost hyperventilated just thinking about it. But she couldn't hide in this room, his room, forever.

xxxx

She'd spotted him her first day with the department, he was ruggedly handsome. But there was something about him that also seemed so dangerous. She thought that was odd, he was a Sheriff's Deputy for heaven's sake.

He'd asked her out a few times, and she did have a crush on him, but she was afraid to go out with him. He had a reputation as being quite the lady's man, in a love 'em and leave 'em one night stand way. She certainly wasn't interested in that.

He was definitely older, she guessed in his early to mid-thirties and she'd just turned 22. But it wasn't really the age difference, in fact that didn't bother her at all. It was more that he seemed so, well, rough.

He scared her just a little. And because of what she'd heard about his reputation with women, well she knew he wasn't the guy for her. No matter how handsome he was, or how attracted to him she was.

He was always polite to her, he was never pushy. But every time he asked her out, well she was afraid, afraid if she went out with him he'd want something from her that she didn't just go around giving away.

She didn't know if she could handle a man like him. Even though it kept getting harder and harder for her to tell him "no."

xxxx

She took one last deep breath, opened the door and stepped out.

He was sitting in an easy chair drinking a cup of coffee and reading the paper. The radio was on low and she recognized an old Hank Williams tune.

He looked up, set the paper down on the coffee table, stood and said, "Hey Beth, how ya feelin'?"

And she started to cry. And not just a little.

Shit he wasn't used to that stuff, he tried to never hang around with a woman long enough to see one crying.

He got up quickly and walked toward her, he put a hand to her upper arm but when she flinched, he took it right away. "Ya okay, ya sick, whatsa matter?"

"What happened last night, Merle? I mean, you and me, what did you do?" She was trembling and sniffling, and he felt kind of bad for her. But damn, she had no business accusing him.

"Well I'll tell ya what little lady, why don't we sit down n have a pleasant conversation about just what I did last night. Can I get ya a coffee?"

"Yes please." She was redder than he'd ever seen her.

"Ya look like a milk n sugar girl, is that how ya like it?" She nodded. "Ya go on ahead n sit down, it ain't what ya think Beth."

He was a little perturbed, but he understood why she'd probably think something like what she was thinking.

He handed her the coffee and started right in on the story. "I stopped at Jersey's Joint just 'fore I got off duty last night. Grimes ask me ta see what was up, we've had some reports a trouble over there.

Anyway, I seen ya over in a far corner, ya had about a half glass a wine in front a ya, but you was out of it, like you'd had a couple bottles.

I asked the barman n he said ya just had that one glass. He said a guy had gone over ta yer table n sat with ya. He noticed when I walked in that guy scooted out the back, fast.

So now, ya tell me what ya remember."

She took what must have been her hundredth deep breath of the morning, "I'd never been in the place, I'd never even heard of it, I'm not really a person to go to bars, in fact I'd never been in a bar. But I have a new neighbor, Amy, she'd asked me that morning, 'It's Friday, let's have a drink and dinner out.' She seemed like a real nice girl, so I agreed.

She asked me to meet her at that place right after work. Sasha dropped me off there on her way home from the station, and she warned me to just be careful. Anyway, Amy wasn't there yet so I ordered a glass of wine.

A man came over and sat at the table trying to, well you know, get friendly with me. I told him I was waiting for a friend and that I wasn't interested, but he was the persistent type. Finally I went in the bathroom, thinking maybe he'd get the hint and leave. I waited about 10 minutes before I came out.

He was at the bar drinking a beer. I was so relieved that he'd given up. I got my phone out to check for a message from Amy, I took a few sips of wine and I started to feel so tired, and I don't know, heavy, like I could hardly move.

I remember seeing the man walking back toward me, and the next thing I knew, I woke up here."

"Yeah well it sounds ta me like you was drugged Beth, one a them date rape things. I'm real sorry." He saw tears come to her eyes and he felt bad. He knew she was one of those good girl types. This was freaking her right out.

"Nuthin' happened after that, ya got my word. I seen ya wasn't with it. So after I was done talkin' ta the barman and the cocktail waitress, I brung ya here. I knew ya lived over in that apartment complex on East Elm, but I didn't think it was a good idea ta leave ya alone for the night. All kinda helpless and out of it like that.

I slept in the spare room."

It was then she addressed the elephant looming large in the room. At least it was for her, "What about my clothes Merle?"

Okay now wait, THAT was the reddest he'd ever seen her, ears, neck, throat, face, all of it.

"My neighbor Karen was sittin' out front a her place havin' a beer with her man when we got here. When she seen the kind a shape you was in, she asked if she could help. I give her a t-shirt ta put on ya so ya wouldn't have ta sleep in yer clothes.

Ya know Beth, I know I got a reputation, and I know people talk, but I ain't no kinda desperate man. I don't drug women for sex, or take advantage of women that don't know what they're doin'. I'm tryin' hard ta be respectful and considerate of ya here, so don't treat me like I'm some kinda sleazy bastard, K?"

There came that color again. "You're right Merle, I'm so sorry, I haven't been fair to you. If not for you who knows what could have happened? I owe you a debt. Please forgive me, and thank you so much for taking care of me." She was trying so hard not to cry, but the tears were pooled up in those big blue eyes.

Damn he'd like to wrap her right up in his arms and comfort the hell out of her for about three days.

Well a guy can dream.

And at least this time when he touched her arm she didn't flinch, "Hey Beth, it's all right, we're good. Now, ya think you can make me a sketch a the guy? I'ma find him and make sure nuthin' like this happens again."

Now she looked nervous, "Oh no, I won't have to testify in court will I?"

"Nah, I think he'll probably wanna leave town after I'm done talking to him." Merle knew something would happen to the guy, oh yeah, something that wasn't going to be real good for the asshole.

And what was going to happen definitely wouldn't involve a court date.

xxxx

They'd say "Hello" and smile when they happened to run into each other on the job. Everything had been cordial. But they hadn't discussed anything further about that night, or that morning.

Hell he hadn't told anyone, not even the sheriff, that he'd seen the guy that night, or that he found him later the next day.

They didn't have to know anything, the situation was taken care of and besides, they were better off not knowing. Especially the Sheriff.

* * *

He'd made up his mind he was going to try one more time. Why the fuck not? She'd already turned him down a dozen times. What harm was one more rejection?

But this was going to be it. He wanted to take her out, wanted a chance with her. But damn, if she wasn't going to budge, well then he didn't have a choice, he'd have to just walk away.

 **A/N Thank you so much for reading! Please leave reviews/comments and let me know your thoughts. xo**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Aw thanks you guys you make me happy. We love our rough boy, don't we? Let's see just what kind of trouble that man is up to now.**

He'd come up rough, hard and mean. But he didn't blame his rotten childhood for the man he was. He was just fine with the man he was.

He was a survivor. He did what he had to do. The world may be a fucked up place, but he aimed to keep his corner of that world just the way he liked it.

Anyone that got in his way, well they'd rue the day they did.

But damn if he didn't have a big old soft spot for that sweet little artist.

And the thing of it was if he was going to convince her to give him a shot, he was going to have to present a little prettier picture of Merle Dixon. He knew enough about the softer side of life to know that.

So that's what he did. At work he was pleasant, he was accommodating, he was polite. To everyone. It was a damn job in itself.

She seemed to be tolerating him okay.

He'd planned to just bide his time, let her see what a good guy he was, then he'd make his final play.

But go to hell if he didn't start seeing that young gun Zach nosing around her. The kid had been with the department about three months, one of those pretty boys. Up and comer. And he'd seen that little piss ant leaning on her desk, chatting her up a few times. And she was smiling.

And Merle Dixon was aggravated to say the least. And his patience had run out. He'd be damned if that skinny little bastard was going to get a shot at taking her out before he did.

xxxx

She'd thought a lot about it after what happened and all. She was hoping that just maybe, well maybe he'd try once more. Ask her out. She was wishing that he would because now her opinion of him had softened. Warmed.

He'd been so good to her, so thoughtful. Even when she'd practically accused him he hadn't even raised his voice.

He'd gotten her coffee. He'd even guessed how she liked it.

And she couldn't deny it any longer, what had been a minor crush had become a major crush. And she knew if he asked her again she was going to say "Yes." She felt confident that he was a man that if he wanted to, well get more "friendly" than she felt comfortable with, he'd take no for an answer.

But now that she wanted to go out with Merle Dixon, it seemed like he'd moved her right into the center of the "friend zone." It was like he hardly even looked her way. Darn it all anyway.

And that newer Deputy, Zach, well he wouldn't quit hanging around her desk. It seemed like every time Merle did come around, Zach was leaning on her desk. Wasting her time.

Well that wasn't nice. She shouldn't say that. He seemed like a pleasant enough man. But she couldn't have been less interested in visiting with him. He'd hinted about them maybe getting together after work "or something" and she'd tried very hard to discourage the idea.

Without being mean of course. She didn't care for meanness. She always tried to be nice.

xxxx

When he walked in the coffee room Tuesday morning there she was looking all kinds of pretty. And damn, he'd finally caught her alone.

She was sitting at the little table, wearing a pink sweater and looking just as sweet as a damn cupcake. She had one of those tiny little muffins and cup of coffee. And she made his day when she looked up, smiled and said, "Good morning Merle."

Oh yeah, he had it bad and he knew it.

"Well good morning there Beth, how are ya today?"

"I'm just fine thank you for asking, and how are you?"

Yeah, way too sweet for him, but he didn't give even one little fuck. He wanted Beth Greene in a big, powerful way. And Merle Dixon went after what he wanted.

"Well I'm doin' pretty good Beth, but ya know, I could be doin' a whole lot better. Why yes I could."

And her little brow knitted, and he almost felt bad, and she asked all sweet and concerned, "Well my goodness is something wrong? Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Well as a matter of fact there is sumthin' wrong, an it just so happens yer the only one that can fix it. How ya can do that is, if you'd agree ta go out with me Saturday night." Damn, that was the corniest fucking thing he'd ever said. But hey, might work.

Aw and there it was right there, those pretty little cheeks got all pinked up and she smiled that damn knock out smile of hers, "Oh Merle, you're quite the fellow. And yes, I would like very much to go out with you Saturday evening."

And he almost lost it then because he was caught completely by surprise. He'd been pretty damn sure she'd say no, and he was going to just give up the ghost. Say screw it, wasn't ever going to happen. Have to move on.

"Well I'm honored Beth. How about I come by yer place at seven? We'll have us some dinner. Would that work out for ya?"

"Yes, that would be very nice. Shall I dress up or be casual?"

He almost blew it right then because he was going to use his standard line, "slip into sumthin' hot, sumthin' easy to slip out of."

But thank gawd he'd caught himself. "We'll be goin' somewhere special Beth. Wouldn't take a nice woman like you to any other kinda place." Damn, he couldn't remember ever being any cheesier.

Now he just had to think about what place that was going to be because, well the kind of broads he usually ran with were the kind he'd take to a loud boisterous bar, buy them a some drinks, twirl them around the dance floor a few times, cop a couple feels, take them to their place, never his place, do what they both wanted to do and get the fuck out. True love kind of stuff.

Just the kind of love he liked.

But this little gal, she had the kind of stuff a man had to work for. This was going to take a while. He could be patient if he had to be, because he planned to have a taste of that. And he planned to have her willing and ready when he finally got what he was after.

That's what he told himself.

xxxx

She was so excited she couldn't eat her muffin. She put it back in that Ziploc and thought she'd maybe have it later for a snack.

She was already thinking about what she should wear, maybe she should buy something new. What about her hair, up or down? She wasn't sure. She was definitely going to get a mani/pedi Saturday morning.

But she couldn't be thinking about that stuff right now. She had to get to the court house. She was sketching a trial. An attempted murder case. She hated it.

It was a big case, and it was so unsavory. And she tried so hard when she was in the courtroom to not really listen, to just draw the people. And this case gave her nightmares.

She wasn't supposed to worry about the cases, or the defendant. She knew that, and most of the time she could handle it okay. But this defendant, a cruel looking man named Joe Jones, was just frightening. He looked scary and he sounded scary, and attempted murder is a scary crime.

It had been testified to in court that he was the leader of a group of what seemed to be very bad men. They would be in the courtroom too, sitting in the gallery. And they all made her so uncomfortable.

One in particular, a tall rangy man of about 35 made her a nervous wreck. He had long stringy dark hair and an evil looking grin.

She tried hard never to look at him because he gave her such a creepy smile it made her skin crawl.

She was leaving the courtroom at noon, going back to the Sheriff's Department building across the street to have her lunch.

Suddenly that dark haired man was standing in front of her, and he touched the side of her face and her hair, "Hey little one, ya look like ya need a strong man ta take care a ya. I can take care a ya in every way. Make ya feel real good. Real satisfied."

And he laughed an evil and disgusting kind of laugh, and she hurriedly got around him and almost ran to the office.

She went right to the Sheriff's office and knocked on his door, she was more than a little bit shaken.

He saw her knock on Grimes' door and he wasn't happy with what he saw. She was red faced, trembling and he'd seen that look before, the one she had on her face when she'd been at his house. The face that meant she was about to burst into tears.

Merle Dixon was pissed off and he didn't even know why.

But he knew how to find out. He hurriedly went over by the wall common to Grimes' office, and he leaned up against it with his cell phone out, like he was checking messages. But what he'd done was stick that tiny listening device there on that wall. He almost smiled thinking James Bond had nothing on him.

He had the Bluetooth in his ear and he was listening. And the more he listened to her tell the sheriff her story, the more pissed off he got.

He'd take care of this problem in a hurry, because the sheriff's department wouldn't move quite fast enough to make Merle Dixon happy.

He would not stand by and let some wormy bastard touch her, scare her. Wasn't going to happen.

He watched when she walked back to the court, he wanted to walk with her, protect her, kill that muther fucker who had dared to touch her. But he'd handle this, he wouldn't let her get hurt.

And he wondered why he felt so damn protective of her. Hell, he had other things to do. There was a big drug deal going down this afternoon in south county and he planned to be lurking, then he'd knock a couple of heads together and bring a few guys in. Another day, another dollar.

But first he was just going to keep an eye on her until she got in the court house, see who this asshole was.

Sure enough, the dirty bastard came right up to her just before she walked in the door. Yeah, he knew the type, and the type wasn't getting next to her.

But he'd have to go about this the right way, and the right way wasn't going to be on the court house steps. The right way would be a little more discreet than that.

In the meantime, he had some guys to bust.

xxxx

As soon as he'd booked the dealers he headed to Rick's office. He'd be spending a good part of his evening interrogating the scum, and he wanted a quick chance to talk to Grimes before he went home.

He had a question and the Sheriff was the only guy he knew, well definitely the only guy he'd ask, who might have an answer.

The first thing he did was give the boss a quick rundown of what had transpired at the scene, and how many guys he'd popped.

"Just tell me it was a clean bust Merle, nothing anyone can come back on us about."

"Now Sheriff that just ain't right, ya know all my arrests are good clean busts, no mischief, no coercion, nuthin' ta come back on us about." And he just gave the Sheriff his best full of shit grin and the Sheriff gave him one back.

"Yeah okay Merle. Just remember you don't get to just interrogate them and then split. Type up that arrest report."

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Anyway, I need yer help with sumthin'. Got me a date with a different kind a gal on Saturday night, wanna take her someplace special for dinner. Any suggestions?"

"What?! Merle Dixon is taking a woman somewhere special?! Well I guess there really is a first time for everything. How about La Maison?"

"I ain't takin' her ta some fancy French joint, she'll know right away what a dumbass I am when I try ta pronounce them words."

And that damn Rick chuckled, "You have a point there buddy. How about the Fireside Room? They have great steaks and seafood. And for smooth operators like you, well it's even got a romantic atmosphere."

xxxx

 _Wednesday_

He was dressed in his crappy undercover clothes and he looked just like a worthless lowlife. That was the look he was going for. And he was in a piece of shit old beater car he'd "borrowed" from the impound lot. He was waiting. Just patiently watching for that bastard to leave when court recessed for the day.

Here he came now and he'd fired up a smoke, and Merle Dixon knew that slimy bastard was waiting for her. Sure enough, as soon as she came walking out he was in her face.

He tried to put a hand on her hip and it was all Merle Dixon could do to keep from jumping out of the car right then. Beating the holy living fuck right out of that shithead.

But that would just cause him trouble, and he'd more than likely get stopped by a couple of sheriff deputies before he could do a proper job of teaching the guy an important lesson.

She'd done good, got away and made it right back over to the Sheriff's Department. Good girl.

The way that asshole laughed when he scared her was the last straw for Merle Dixon.

He followed him to some shit hole warehouse area, probably where their little gang congregated. Merle waited while the scum went in the building, he was in there an hour or so.

When he came out he had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of Merle Dixon, who grabbed him from behind in a choke hold. "Listen up muther fucker, ya stay the hell away from that pretty little sketch artist or I will kill you. Ya got my word." And then Merle Dixon beat him just short of death. Left him there on the ground.

He dumped the beater car behind one of the buildings and got his ass home.

* * *

First thing next morning the Sheriff called him into his office. "What did you do last night Merle?"

And he acted a little cocky, "Why Sheriff, I didn't know you was interested in hearin' the details a my social life. Sorry I ain't got more ta tell. Went home, had me a couple cold ones, fired up a fat one and ordered a pizza. I always get the damn munchies when I smoke a little."

"Don't push it Merle. I can only turn a blind eye to so much of your shenanigans. Let's talk about a little incident that took place last night."

"First, tell me this Merle, this special woman you have a date with Saturday night, it wouldn't happen to be Beth Greene would it?"

"Why Sheriff Grimes do ya have a detective tailin' me? Cuz yeah, that's who it is."

"So would you know anything about a Len Schwarz who's been harassing her?"

"Ain't never heard a Len Schwarz." Hell, that wasn't even a lie. He'd never heard the guys' name.

"Well someone has Merle, and someone beat him nearly to death last night. He was found in an alley in that industrial park off Washington St. I'd hate to find out you had anything to do with that."

"Now c'mon Rick, give me a little credit here, I'm more creative than that. Don't worry, wasn't me."

And Rick Grimes believed him, and yet he also knew Merle Dixon was a masterful liar and the man simply had no tells.

xxxx

He'd gotten himself all duded up, tie, sport coat, all of it. He was about to take a woman he had a lot of plans for out for a special dinner. Hell, thinking about it, it was like a first date for him. He'd never taken a woman out and wined her and dined her. Tried to get to know her, tried to let her know at least a little about him. That there, well it caused him to be just a little nervous.

That was a feeling new to Merle Dixon.

He was there just a couple minutes early, he hated lateness and he'd noticed she was always early to work. He rang the bell.

And she looked adorable. Her beautiful blond hair in some kind of cute little style, seemed kind of like a low, loose ponytail. No teased up hair, no phony hair color. And she had on a pretty little dress with strappy sandals and damn, this woman was so tiny, wasn't nothing to her at all. How had he not picked up on just how small she was?

She spoke when she answered the door, "Hello Merle." And she smiled.

And he didn't even think about it, it just came right out of its own free will, "Well hello there Darlin, ya look lovely tonight. I'ma be mighty proud ta be seen with ya."

And what he was thinking was she looked like a damned teenager and everyone was going to be thinking he was nothing but a dirty old man. Which he was pretty goddamn sure was exactly what he was.

But he didn't give a fuck because she was the prettiest girl he'd ever known, and by god he truly was mighty proud to be seen with her.

 **A/N Well, well, well. I'm not certain Merle Dixon knows exactly how the heck he feels. How about you, what are your thoughts? Thanks so much for reading, please comment / review. xo**

 **This fic will post each week on Tuesdays.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Aw thanks you guys! I appreciate the follows and the faves, and I love it when you let me hear your thoughts on the story. Shall we see how the big date goes?**

"Would you like to start with a cocktail Beth?" Damn being smooth just went against his nature. But she was such a sweet thing and he wanted to make her feel comfortable, happy.

For reasons he didn't quite understand it was important for him to let her know he could be a gentleman. Even though it didn't come naturally and he was having to work hard at it.

Well maybe it wasn't that hard because when he was around her he got kind of mellow. She softened his edges right up. And somehow he wanted to treat her just right, treat her special.

These feelings were all new to Merle Dixon and if he thought about it too much it just fucking pissed him off.

"Well I'd be interested to try one, but I don't really know much about cocktails or what to order." She just knew she sounded like a naïve kid, which was exactly what she felt like. And he was so sophisticated.

"Well why don't ya tell me what ya like an maybe I can come up with a idea for ya. If we order sumthin' and ya don't care for it there ain't no reason ya gotta drink it. How's that?" She was so impressed with his thoughtfulness.

"Well I hate to waste but if you say so. Is there something that's a little bit sweet? That won't taste too strong?" She couldn't believe he'd put up with someone so childish. He really was a kind and patient man

Gawd damn, sweet as sugar this little cupcake. "Yeah I think I got sumthin' yer gonna like real well. I don't want ya ta feel pressured Beth we're here ta have a nice time, alright?"

"Yes thank you Merle and thank you for being such a gentleman." She never would have guessed what a nice man he was. She shouldn't have listened to all those stories.

And he was thinking to himself, "Shit little cupcake if ya only knew what I'm thinkin' right now, 'bout all them things I'd like ta do with ya and to ya, ya wouldn't be thinkin' gentleman. You'd be hoppin' on the next bus outta town."

The cocktail waitress stopped at their table and he ordered, "The lady would like a cosmo straight up and would ya kindly ask the barman ta add a little simple syrup and sugar the rim? I'll have a Jameson neat, please."

"My goodness Merle how do you know all that stuff? I'm completely confused by nearly everything you just said."

Jesus if he wasn't such a big fucking asshole he'd walk away right now. He had no business putting the make on anyone this sweet. But shit he wanted her real bad and he just couldn't make himself walk away. Not yet.

So he just smiled his best smile and asked her, "Now what is it ya like ta do Beth ya know, for fun or a hobby, like that?"

"Well let's see, I love to paint. I make a living sketching but what I really love is working with watercolors. Mostly flowers and landscapes. I also play guitar and sing and I write a few songs. Other than that I like to ride horses, go for walks and bowl. I get a big kick out of bowling but I'm no good." She giggled.

Ah and that giggle right there was a sweet sound to Merle Dixon's ears. "Well my, my you sound like a busy gal. I sure would love ta hear ya play yer guitar an sing. Maybe ya could see yer way clear ta do that for me later when I take ya home."

"I'd be very happy to sing for you Merle. Now tell me what is it you like to do for hobbies or recreation?"

And he did not tell her that even though he'd had to give up the hard stuff, he still liked to smoke some dope and listen to those old blues tunes. Or that he enjoyed meeting women down at the Cinnamon Shack bar, going home with them and getting his rocks off. And he didn't tell her how much he enjoyed a good brawl.

"Well I got a motorcycle I enjoy ridin'. An my brother Daryl, I think ya met him once at the station, he an I we like goin' campin', doin' a little huntin' an fishin'. An ya know way back in the day I done a little bowlin'. I can't remember if I's any good or not." And he just laughed.

"Oh my goodness I've heard you have a motorcycle. That must be scary and exciting. I've never ridden on one of those. I think I'd be afraid."

"Aw now ain't nuthin' for ya ta be afraid of. Ol' Merle will give ya a ride tomorrow if ya wanna go. Not too far. Just a nice little spin around. I promise I won't scare ya. Would ya like that?" What the fuck was he thinking? He never took women on his bike with him. NEVER. Not only no, but hell no. And he's got her out tonight and he's making plans for tomorrow?

Shit she had his head all turned the fuck around.

"Oh that would be wonderful I'd like that very much Merle, thank you. I'm home from church by eleven so any time after that would be great." And she smiled that beautiful smile.

He was all wrapped up in that sweet, sweet look but he was thinking, fuck, she goes to church too. Should have known, she looks like the churchie type. Yep way too clean-living. Not the woman for him. Not at all. Nope. Not doing it.

"Well good we'll have us some fun. We can have a little lunch while we're out. Now ya gotta wear pants not a dress, long is best and boots or sneakers, no sandals. Okay?" She may not know but he knew, he'd lost his fucking mind.

"Oh I'm so excited Merle!" Well that made it all seem okay. Who needed a fucking mind when all that sweet sugar was being sprinkled all over the room?

They got back to her place and it was every bit of what he thought it would be. Flowers and pillows and frilly, girlie bullshit everywhere. All kinds of pinks, and violets and soft yellows. Nothing a man would want to have to spend any time around, that's for damn sure.

"Ya got ya a real nice place Beth. Suits ya just right."

"Oh thank you Merle that's so sweet of you to say. It's small but I prefer that, it's just more cozy. I'm afraid I don't have any of that Jameson stuff to offer you. I have lemonade or sweet tea."

"Don't ya worry 'bout it Beth I'm doin' just fine." Damn if he was ever coming back to this joint, and he couldn't for the life of him see why he would, he was going to have to stock the place.

And they sat and she picked at those guitar strings for just a minute before she started to play a song and sing. He couldn't have been more surprised. How would a young thing like her know that ancient Hank Williams song? Hell it was decades before even his time.

But she did and man did she sound pretty when she sang "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry," and damn if she didn't look him right in the eyes when she did.

Ah fuck who am I trying to kid? I'll back tomorrow. "That was beautiful and one of my favorite songs too. Can't believe a young woman like you would even know that old tune."

"Oh my Daddy loves Hank, Sr. I grew up listening to those scratchy old records. I always loved it myself. And when I was at your house I heard that song playing. I decided I wanted to learn to play it for you, you know, in case I ever got that chance." And her little cheeks were fire engine red.

And Merle Dixon was shocked in a kind of good and a kind of mighty confused way. "Why that's the nicest thing anyone ever done for me. You're a real sweetheart Beth. I thank ya so much." Shit and he meant it. No one wasted their energy doing nice things for Merle Dixon.

He'd never asked a woman for a kiss. He always just went for it and if they told him to quit, well then he did. But she was just so damn different.

"Can I give ya a little kiss 'fore I go?" And she reddened right up again. Fuck that just worked on him. Made him feel things he didn't want to feel.

But she gave him a demure little smile and nodded and that made everything okay.

It took every ounce of self-control Merle Dixon could muster but he kept that kiss sweet and tender.

* * *

He left her place and damn it left him wanting a woman. Now. He threw the coat and tie in the back, loosened up his shirt collar and headed right over to the Cinnamon Shack. He aimed to fill a need.

Saturday night and the place was busy, everyone in a party kind of mood. Trying hard to forget a tough week, or a tough life. Forget all the shit even if it was just for one night.

He saw a couple of gals he was familiar with, gals he'd messed with a couple times. And he saw several he'd never seen before. They all looked like good candidates to Merle Dixon.

He ordered up a Jameson neat and a bottle of Bud to wash it down.

He figured he'd just enjoy his drinks and check out the ladies. Find one that looked willing, and that he wanted to get real close with. Just for a little while. He'd buy her a couple of drinks and boom, satisfaction guaranteed.

But gawd dammit all to hell. He just couldn't stop thinking about that pretty little blond. He was picturing her in a fluffy looking bed with too many pillows, flowered sheets, all snuggled up there in her nightie. Sleeping peacefully. Oh yeah he was torturing himself now.

Son of a bitch she was the only woman he wanted to have satisfy his need. And he sure as shit wasn't going to find her at the Cinnamon Shack.

Even when that gal he'd messed with a couple of weeks ago, Betty was her name, came over he just couldn't go there. Why she was a pretty one too and real accommodating in the sack. He'd rubbed her ass a little and she'd rubbed a hand up his thigh, gave him a little feel even.

But he had to turn her down. "Can't tonight doll but lemme buy ya a drink."

Damn that sweet little Cupcake had ruined his life.

* * *

Sunday he was at her house just a couple of minutes early. When she opened the door and he looked at that sweet face, he felt like a dumbass hormoned-up 13 year old boy. Like he'd never been with a woman.

But shit it was the truth, he'd sure as hell never been with a woman like her. And being honest with himself he knew; there was no woman like her.

She looked perfect to him. Tight jeans, that pink sweater he'd become mighty partial to, and high top sneakers. Shit what was he gonna do? He was in way over his head with this one and he knew it.

"Hi Merle it's so nice to see you again." Couldn't she just quit being so fucking sweet? Dammit he was getting sick of that shit.

"Well very nice ta see you too Beth. Are ya ready ta go for a little bike ride?"

"Oh yes I've been excited about it ever since you mentioned it last night." Oh my he was so strong looking and so handsome. He was wearing jeans with a western style sharp crease, a tight white t-shirt and a black leather jacket. He looked a little bit dangerous, but now that she knew what a nice man he was, she just thought it made him even more handsome.

He'd stopped on his way to her place and bought her a helmet. Well shit it wasn't a present or anything like that. And it wasn't like he could just take a chance of her getting hurt. Right? And his helmet would be way too big on a tiny thing like her. It just made sense. It wasn't a present, Merle Dixon didn't buy women presents. He was just being practical and safe. Yeah that's all.

"Oh Merle that was so thoughtful and thank you very much for worrying about me that way." She smiled that big bright smile and he helped her put it on.

He told her where to keep her feet, how to hang on, and he reassured her everything would be safe and everything would be just fine.

He hadn't expected her little hands on his sides would be well, kind of exciting to him. But he was feeling it for sure.

But as they rode along it kind of started to piss him off. Merle Dixon did not let anyone close. Except maybe Daryl. That was different, he was his brother. They shared a history, a lifetime of hard times and ass-deep bullshit. No one else would ever know or even begin to understand the hell they had lived through.

Especially not this sweet little Cupcake.

And at the next red light he deliberately went in for the scare. As soon as it turned green he gave it a big goose. He'd show her, that's right, show her what it was really like to hang with Merle Dixon. He was an asshole and proud of it.

But gawd damn he heard her squeal, and she wrapped her arms around him real tight, burrowed right into his back. And he liked that feeling. And fuck, fuck, fuck. She'd won.

* * *

He'd busted a "dealer to the rich" guy in a little Bistro on the west end of town and that's where he took her for lunch. Not where he'd normally go if it were just him. He was more of a Fred's Diner kind of guy.

Hell this was definitely not his usual Sunday afternoon. Most Sundays it was likely he'd be either in the woods with Daryl or sitting on his sofa. Alone by choice. He'd be listening to the blues real soft and low, drinking beer, smoking a little dope, and ordering up a pizza. It was a good life and he was partial to it.

But damn if he wasn't having a nice time with her right here in this overpriced, overrated hipster joint. The food wasn't his preference at all, who the fuck eats a veggie burger or a kale salad?

He was having what he considered to be a piss poor excuse for a sandwich, and he was pretty damn sure they didn't have a French fry or a potato chip in the whole damn place. They'd given him a little bowl of fruit with his sandwich. Yeah well he'd be getting a bucket of chicken wings on the way home.

Right now though he didn't really care what he was eating. He had a Cupcake to look at while he choked it down. So he smiled at her and told her it was real tasty. What he wanted to say was, "I bet you're real tasty sweetheart." But he'd save that for another time.

And then she made him feel like a huge shithead. "What happened to the motorcycle Merle? Why did it suddenly seem to lurch like that, and why was it going so fast? I was scared I would fall off or we would have an accident. I was so grateful I had you to hang on to."

And dammit she was looking at him with those big, beautiful, innocent, and fuck, trusting eyes. Shit.

"I'm real sorry about that it was all my fault, my foot slipped or sumthin'. I apologize. I'll make sure it don't happen again." And he would. How could he have done that to her, on purpose? He knew he'd always be an asshole. Can't change this old dog.

"So what kind of schedule ya got the rest of the week Beth?" She was that kind of person, yep the Cupcake was eating a kale salad.

"Well I'm still working the trial. The judge has said he expects the testimony and closing arguments to wrap up on Thursday. Then I'll be back in court when the jury returns a verdict, and then sentencing.

I'll just be glad when this case is over. It's been difficult. This weekend has been just a wonderful break. I enjoyed spending time with you. It's really lifted my spirits after what was such a hard week. Thank you Merle."

Okay fine I give up, give in, I'm throwing in the fucking towel. "Well I'm real happy ta hear that. Why just maybe you'd agree ta let me take ya out again next Saturday night. Whaddya think?"

"Why thank you and yes, I'd like that very much." And there was that big beautiful smile and those pink cheeks, and those pretty eyes.

And Merle Dixon worried that someday those pretty eyes would see right through him.

 **A/N I almost feel sorry for Merle, okay I don't feel sorry for him at all. I hope you enjoyed his struggle. I thank you for reading and you know how I love to see your reviews / comments so please leave me one. xo**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Thank you all so much for your input and support of my Merle and Beth stories. I love reading your comments and reviews, you guys really are the best. It seems no one feels sorry for Merle. Gee. Well perhaps you will just a little by the time you read this. Shall we see what that man is up to now?**

He didn't trust Joe Jones or his merry little band of assholes, and he didn't like the idea of her being stuck in court with them every day.

But there wasn't one damn thing he could do about that. He didn't hand out the job assignments and she was just doing her job.

But he could at least try to see to it she got to and from the courtroom without being harassed. And he told himself that was the only reason he did it, just doing a service by protecting a young woman. Part of his job description, right?

He arrived at work early Monday morning and hung around the break room waiting for her. It seemed he couldn't help himself.

Hell she was an adult she ought to be able to take care of her own damn self. Yeah well no, he wasn't going to settle for her having to do that. Long ago in his life he'd been the weaker one, that wasn't a good spot for a person to find themselves in. Especially not a pretty, and pretty fucking innocent, young woman.

Not that he had any special feelings for her or anything like that. No, that wasn't it at all.

She gave him that big bright smile when she saw him there. "Good morning Merle, it's so nice to see you." Did she really wake up so fucking happy every day? Rainbows, Unicorns and Sunshine. Yep.

"G'mornin' to you Beth. Thought I might walk ya over ta the courthouse this mornin', if ya don't mind."

"Of course I don't it's so kind of you to offer. I'll feel so much safer, you know how this trial bothers me. And I'll enjoy spending this little bit of time with you." See that?! It was that shit right there, that's how she did it to him. That big beautiful smile and those bright pink cheeks. It was like sorcery or some kind of bullshit like that.

Even though it sure as hell wasn't a priority, he found himself right back there at noon. Just to escort her back to the station for her lunch. No other reason.

Of course he knew she brought her lunch so he'd stopped at the deli when he was out on a call, had them make him a sandwich. Couldn't make her eat alone.

There she was all smiles and sunny skies again, "I feel so much better when you walk to and from the courthouse with me Merle. Those men just scare me. Thank you for being so thoughtful. Why don't you let me bring you lunch tomorrow? It would be my pleasure."

Again she'd stunned him, hell his own Mama had never made his lunch. Thank goodness he was a quick thinker. "Well that sounds real special Beth, I'd really appreciate that. But I ain't agreein' to it less you agree ta let me take ya out for a bite at noon on Wednesday."

If she didn't stop that gawd damn blushing she was going to drive him fucking insane. "Why that would be so nice. Yes and thank you."

"Nah, thank you." He was turning into some kind of gawd damn pussy and he resented the hell out of it, and he resented her for causing it. And dammit it all to hell, he couldn't get enough of her.

She just couldn't get over what a sweetheart Merle Dixon was. How could she have misjudged him so badly? Shame on her for listening to workplace gossip! She knew better than that. She was so glad she'd given him a chance because as it turned out, Merle Dixon was one of the kindest most thoughtful people she'd ever known.

Much to his utter and complete displeasure Merle Dixon found that he almost enjoyed looking out for her. And he almost liked how she was always so grateful, and sweet, and pink cheeked. And damn, he just wanted his taste of that so he could move on, you know, before she fucking ruined him for good.

She brought him a real he-man kind of sandwich on Tuesday, while she'd eaten some salad and fruit. How did she expect to stay alive eating that crap?

That's what made him pick Mexican for Wednesday's lunch. That ought to put some meat on her bones. Well that's what he thought but she'd ordered just one a la carte fish taco. That wouldn't feed a gawd damn mouse. And yet he was starting to get kind of accustomed to that tiny body. Kind of starting to think it was hot. Oh fuck, it was hotter than a fucking live grenade. He just needed to get his share of that little body so he could go back to thinking straight. Beth Greene was going to be nothing but a dot in his rear view mirror.

"This is just wonderful Merle, thank you so much for bringing me. I never get a special lunch like this!" She was so proud to be seated here with this very handsome deputy. She just knew every other woman in the place wished they were her.

* * *

You know what really pissed him off? She wouldn't just get the fuck off of his mind. She was making him stupid! And when Grimes said something to him well that was the last straw, he was cutting this off. He could get laid somewhere else gawd dammit.

He couldn't even believe Rick had the balls to say such a stupid thing to him. I mean shit, Rick knew him better than that. Better than to ask, "So tough guy it looks to me like you're getting pretty serious about a certain little sketch artist I know."

He'd always liked Officer Friendly but damn, he'd turned into a real asshole lately.

* * *

The judge gave the case to the jury with his instructions Thursday morning. End of day Friday and the jury was still out.

He'd hoped they'd come back quickly for her sake. They'd reach a guilty verdict and the judge would give that asshole a nice long sentence. Too fucking bad it wasn't a death penalty case.

He was feeling bad for her. So Friday just before end of shift he decided what the hell and he asked her. "Hey been a tough week on ya I know it has. Why don't ya let me take ya out after work? We'll have us a cocktail or two and a little bit a dinner, help ya relax."

What the fuck was he thinking? He needed to get his ass down to the Cinnamon Shack, get about half in the bag, hook up with that cute little Betty and get himself laid proper.

But she'd said, "Oh Merle honestly you are just the most considerate person. I was planning to go home and take a long hot bubble bath, have a cup of tea and try to forget everything."

Shit the thought of her in a bubble bath gave him a semi. Knock that shit off girl or you're going to embarrass us both!

"I'd much prefer to have one of those drinks like you got me the other night, and a little dinner with a very handsome deputy." And holy fucking crap her blue eyes were shining and her smile was big and bright, those cheeks were a blazing and he'd take her to the North Fucking Pole if that's what she wanted.

"Well Cupcake you get your things I'ma just run in Rick's office, gotta tell him something right quick, then we'll go." Oh fuck, did he just call her Cupcake, out loud? Son of a Bitch.

The Sheriff was drinking a cup of coffee when Merle knocked once, walked in and asked, "Is there some kinda cocktail joint around here that's kinda nice where I can take a lady, ya know not where I would usually go, not like a strip club or pickup joint or something."

And the Sheriff nearly choked on that coffee. "Geez Merle warn a guy." And then that asshole started laughing. Well Merle Dixon damn sure wouldn't put up with that shit, if he didn't need information.

"Why don't you take her to the Rendezvous Room? It's a classic old school cocktail bar, low lighting, leather and brass, beautiful mirrored back bar, bartenders in white shirts with black ties and vests. That ought to work."

"Yeah, sounds good, is that the one over on 5th and Pine?"

"Yep. And Merle seriously good luck because man, you got it bad."

"No offense, but fuck you Grimes." But Merle Dixon knew as well as he knew he was the world's biggest dumbass, Rick was right. He had it bad. It hit him like a bullet between the eyes, no denying it.

Why the hell didn't he just admit it to himself? Well he'd see how things went this evening, maybe it was just something temporary, like the flu.

He took her by her place first and waited on a flowered sofa while she got "freshened up." He was already pretty pleased with how fresh she was.

It didn't take her long, she came walking out of that bedroom 15 minutes later. Yeah well, there was no more fighting it. He had it bad. One look at her and he finally said to himself, "Okay dumbass can't fight it no more, gonna have ta go with it. Try an make the best of it. Hand her yer ass, she owns it."

For the life of him he couldn't figure out how a woman could look so sweet, so innocent, and also hot as fuck. Yeah well he didn't know and he didn't care because it was Merle Dixon who'd be taking her out from now on. Or at least for as long as she'd agree to let him.

They stopped by his place and he got his own self freshened up. Changed out of his uni, put on a pair of slacks, a nice sport shirt and jacket and his dress shoes. He was going to see just how long he could tolerate all of this sweet sugar. Or maybe how long she'd put up with his sour disposition.

The bar was everything Rick said it was, classic, old school. Dark, quiet, deep leather chairs around short cocktail tables. Good call Officer Friendly. I'm hating you less right now.

He ordered their drinks and without even thinking he took her hand in his, "Did I tell ya how pretty ya look this evening Beth? Cuz ya do. Well truth is ya always look real pretty." And he wasn't trying to be smooth, he meant it. Her cheeks flamed up and an ache flamed up in him. He just wanted to hold her tight, feel her next to him. Smell those beautiful blond curls, kiss those pink cheeks.

Yes he wanted to lay with her, wanted to have her, wanted her to have him. But that wasn't all of it. He wasn't kidding himself anymore. He didn't just want her, he wanted her to want him. He'd never wanted to be with a woman for anything more than a couple of laughs, a little roll, a little release, but he was willing to work at this. He wanted her to show him what they could be.

Their drinks came and he held his glass up to her and he told her then just as plain as he knew how, "I hope this is just the beginnin' of a lotta nights we're gonna be enjoyin' each other's company Beth. That's what I want."

And he thought maybe she had a little tear in her eye and she held her glass up to him and she said, "That's what I want too Merle, I want to be spending my time with you." And she gave him that million dollar smile and those cheeks of hers were pink as could be and Merle Dixon, for once in his life, felt both calm and happy.

This time when he said goodnight he held his hands in her hair and he kissed her deep, and he was thrilled when she returned the heat of that kiss. He took it just a little bit further sucking lightly at her ear and her neck. They were both becoming aroused when she pulled back just a little and said, "We'd better slow down Merle."

Damn, he didn't want to slow down but it was her call. He got it, she wasn't the kind of gal who hops in bed with a guy on the second date. But shit, a man can hope can't he?

He put an open palm to her cheek, "You're right Cupcake. Gotta take it a little slower, but damn ya don't make that easy on a man."

Her smile was softer, kind of sexy and all he could think to say was, "I'll pick ya up about six tomorrow, how's that?"

"I'll be waiting."

He didn't even think about heading to the Cinnamon Shack. Nah, there was nothing he wanted there. What he wanted was probably in her nightie by now all tucked in those flowered sheets. Right where he wished he was.

He went around to the side door there by the kitchen, front doors were for company.

That's where they jumped him.

There were four of them and even Merle Dixon was no match for four strong men who'd gotten the drop on him.

They obviously planned to beat him to death, but he was saved when the neighbor's dog started barking up a racket and lights came on all over the neighborhood.

The four thugs got their asses out of there in a hurry. That was good.

What was bad was Merle Dixon was unconscious lying on the concrete by his kitchen door, and no one knew.

 **A/N UhOh. Our man is down. Thank you all so much for reading. I would love to hear your comments / reviews. xo**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Thank you all so much. This chapter we'll learn Merle's fate and also meet his brother Daryl, and a new character will be introduced. Enjoy!**

 **Triggers: Violence, Murder.**

He'd briefly come-to a few times, once he'd even managed to dig a hand in his pants pocket looking for his phone, but before he found it he'd passed back out.

Other times he'd wake briefly and he was conscious of the cold hard concrete, and the chill night air, and the damp.

Later it was the hot, relentless sun.

He was aware how badly he was hurt.

He wanted to move, he'd tried hard to get himself to the kitchen door. But he just couldn't quite get the job done.

He knew who those bastards were, he'd seen them and when he saw them again they were going to die. That's what he knew for now. He was fucked up and someone was paying a big price for that.

xxxx

Merle was supposed to meet him at one for a beer and some Cheese Stix at Grant's Roadhouse. From there they were going to look at a bike Daryl was interested in.

Daryl nursed his beer for 30 minutes, still no Merle. He figured some kind of bust must be going down and Merle hadn't had a chance to call. He went ahead and ordered one more and the Cheese Stix. When he was done, still no big brother. He tried calling and texting, nothing.

He went on over to the guys' place that had the bike advertised, rode it around and made the Dude an offer, a low offer. Guy said he'd have to think about it, Daryl said, "Fine when ain't nobody offers ya more, ya give me a call. If I ain't bought sumthin' else, maybe I'll take it offa yer hands."

That was Daryl, he didn't give a rat's ass. If he was meant to have it, he would. Besides the guy was a dumb fuck and asking too much.

But now Daryl was kind of getting worried about his brother. It wasn't like Merle to leave him hanging.

The Dixon brothers were more than capable of getting ornery with one another, calling each other terrible names, making disparaging remarks, and occasionally going to blows.

But the other thing the Dixon brothers were was incredibly loyal to and protective of one another. They had each other's backs and they had a bond that could never be broken.

And something started to creep into Daryl's mind and he begin to think, yeah if Merle could get a message to him Merle would.

He decided to take a run by his brother's place, see if maybe he could get a clue where the fuck brother was.

He pulled the pickup out front and walked down the driveway toward the kitchen door. Merle had made it clear to him he was not company and only company used the front door.

As far as Daryl could tell there hadn't been anyone yet that was company. Everyone that came to Merle's used the kitchen door.

When he saw his brother laying there on the concrete he broke into a run and slid on one hip right over to him. He put a hand under his head, lifted it ever so slightly and he urged, "Brother, brother talk ta me, what the fuck man?"

It was plain whoever had brutally beaten his brother had every intention of killing him. Daryl was on-fire angry. But first things first, he pulled his cell out and hit Grimes' emergency personal number.

"Get a fuckin' bus ta Merle's like yesterday, fuck Rick it's bad, real bad."

Rick had the sway and five minutes later an ambulance pulled in the driveway.

xxxx

He'd been just a bit early both times he'd picked her up so she was ready 15 minutes early, just in case.

She'd been at the mall that day and treated herself to a new dress. She wanted to look pretty for him. She was falling for him, she knew she was and she was just going to let it happen.

She was already pacing the floor by 6:15, by 6:30 she could feel the tears coming, she was fighting it though.

By 7 she'd taken the new dress off and hung it in the closet, put on some jeans and a too-big sweatshirt, made herself a big bowl of popcorn and turned on a Lifetime movie.

She had every intention of crying every tear she could. Darn it all anyway! She'd been so sure he really cared for her. After she'd gone all that time refusing to date him, she finally gave in and then when she started to fall, he was gone.

Obviously he didn't care a thing about her or her feelings. Fine, she'd cry for the rest of the weekend and Monday she'd start flirting with Zach.

The only problem was she didn't care about Zach, she cared about Merle.

She wallowed in it. Extra butter on the popcorn, a box of Kleenex there next to her, and the cheesiest movie ever made on TV. She'd snap right out of this tomorrow.

She was halfway through the popcorn and the Kleenex when a knock came to the door.

My gosh it was eight o'clock was he crazy? Did he really think she was just going to say it didn't matter, she'd be happy to go out with him even though he was two hours late?

Well he had another think coming.

But she called, "Just a minute!" Hurriedly wiped her eyes, blew her nose and ran her fingers through her hair. Praying to God she didn't look too awful.

She opened the door expecting to see Merle Dixon standing there but it was the sheriff. That was odd.

"Hey Beth, can I come in a minute? We need to talk."

"Yes, sure, please come in. Can I get you anything?"

"No, no thank you I'm fine. Listen Beth, I'm going to get right to it. I know you've been spending a little time with Merle Dixon and I thought I'd better come by and talk to you. Merle's been badly hurt."

Her hand was covering her mouth, she was scared now, anxious, ready to cry again.

"It looks as though he was jumped by more than one assailant. He has internal injuries, there's also a couple of cracked ribs, a broken nose, two black eyes and a concussion. He's also suffering from exposure, he was outside a long time before his brother found him. That's what they know right now."

And the tears would not stay put any longer, they were pouring out whether she wanted them to or not.

"I'm sorry Beth, real sorry. I do have to ask you a couple of questions. Were you with Merle at all last night?"

She nodded and gave him the details of where they'd gone and just when Merle had left.

"That helps Beth, it's always good to have a time frame of when these things most likely occurred. Again I apologize for interrupting your evening to bring bad news. Is there anything I can do?"

It came out in a hoarse whisper, "Can you take me to him?"

"Sure yeah, get what you need, no rush." But she just grabbed her purse and her phone and she was ready.

xxxx

While Grimes was gone Daryl took his opportunity to get the story from brother. "Who the fuck done this Merle?" He had to put his ear practically on top of Merle's lips to hear, but Big Brother gave him the lowdown as best he could.

He also told Daryl to check his cell. Merle had taken photos of those assholes in front of the courthouse. Daryl studied the pictures real hard, until he knew he'd spot them anywhere.

"Ya want me ta go ahead an kill 'em all? Or ya want me ta save a couple for ya?" And Merle held up two fingers.

"Sounds just right big brother a 50/50 split." And Daryl smiled that little half grin of his and Merle tried to return it but his smile wasn't quite working right.

She walked in the room and she couldn't believe her eyes but she held back the tears, she was there to support him, encourage, be whatever he needed her to be.

He was so black and blue and sunburned, he had tubes running into his hand and wires stuck on him and machines hooked to him. She just couldn't believe it. She always thought of him as being so strong and tough, there must have been more than just a couple of attackers.

She was not a violent person, she always tried to see the good in everyone. But seeing him like this didn't just hurt it made her angry. She'd never had someone she cared for, someone close to her be hurt at the hands of another. It made her want revenge. As wrong as she knew that was, right now she just didn't care.

Then she heard Rick's voice, "Beth this is Merle's brother Daryl."

And she shook herself from her thoughts, "Hello Daryl nice to meet you." He barely glanced her way and nodded.

But then Merle was trying to reach a hand out to her and he was trying to say something. Little brother saw that and right away he knew, and she was in. "C'mon girl, brother wants ya over here by him."

And as badly as his big brother was hurt, and as swollen and battered as those eyes were, little brother didn't miss what passed between them.

He cleared his throat and softly said, "Okay brother, I see yer in good hands. I'ma head out now, gonna be busy huntin' tomorrow first thing, see if I can't bag me a couple big 'uns. I'll be by an see ya after that, let ya know if I had any luck. Oh, an I'ma stop by yer place, check on shit, get ya some stuff."

Then his brother looked to her, "Ya got a phone do ya?"

"Yes."

"Lemme see it." She handed it to him and he quickly input something. "K ya got my number now, I put it under 'brother', ya need anythin' or my brother needs anythin' ya call or ya text me. I got ya girl an I got him."

And on his way out he clapped the sheriff on the shoulder, smirked and said, "See ya later Sheriff Ricky, n thanks man."

And she heard the sheriff mutter, "Fuck you Daryl. And for God sake let the department handle it." Daryl didn't look back just waved a hand in the air.

And she swore Merle was almost laughing.

Men! They were all so strange.

The sheriff excused himself from the room and she was alone with him.

She could tell he was looking at her even though his eyes were barely visible.

His hand was swollen and black and blue, she supposed he'd gotten in a few punches. She didn't want to touch it, afraid she'd cause him even more pain, so she just rested a hand on his shoulder. And she leaned in to put her face near his.

"I was so selfish and self-centered Merle. I thought you'd stood me up, that you'd already gotten tired of me and moved on. I was sad, but I was angry with you too. It never even occurred to me that you might be somewhere hurt. I'm so sorry."

He tried to speak, but all he could get out was, "No." He was trying to reach his other hand up to her face but he just couldn't. His body wouldn't work, but his mind was working just fine, and he was thinking how lucky he was that this sweet woman should feel these things for him.

"Please I just want you to heal, to get better." She kissed his forehead and she lay her head on his shoulder and he was out again.

xxxx

Little Brother had skills beyond his career. He had a small tile business, one employee. That's how he liked it, no big deals. And Daryl Dixon had a reputation of being the best tile setter in Georgia. An artist. That was the skill folks knew about.

But it was the other set of skills he would utilize now. He could track anything, anywhere, anytime. He enjoyed the challenge of seeking his prey, no matter how many legs that prey may be on. It wasn't that he was violent, the opposite was true. He was a quiet man who didn't seek out trouble, unless you fucked with the people he loved. There were two of those people Daryl loved, Merle and Becky. He'd kill for either one.

After the trouble that had come to Becky he'd been forever changed. That was the first time Daryl acted on a mix of love, protectiveness and revenge. He'd never felt one ounce of remorse for what he'd done.

* * *

Big Brother had only been able to tell him the name of the industrial park, not the building. And he knew there were four assholes, he knew first names, what they looked like, and he knew now they'd look like they'd been in a fight. He'd just needed that one look at Brother's hands to know he'd done some damage to them.

Even with four guys beating on him Merle Dixon didn't go down easy.

Daryl had no intention of making it any bigger of a deal than it needed to be. He was a one shot, one kill kind of man. Not that he'd be shooting anyone, that left too much trace, he had other more efficient ways. Grimes would know right away, but that didn't mean there'd be evidence.

If there ain't no evidence there ain't no crime, right? Pretty much.

The other thing Baby Brother was he was stealth, like a cat. He'd slip in, do what he needed and slip back out. No one the wiser.

He stopped by WalMart on his way home, not the local one, he'd driven two towns over to another WalMart. He got himself a new set of clothes. Hell, he hadn't bought himself clothes in years. Now he was getting new ones that he'd later have to destroy. Best not to think of it that way.

The operative words of the day were cheap and black. He got black shoes, black socks, a black long sleeve t-shirt, a black watch cap, and a pair of black gloves. He bought the sturdiest kitchen knife they had, a seat cover for the bench seat in his pickup, a bar of Dial soap and a towel.

He paid cash and told them to pack everything in paper sacks.

* * *

He got home and she was waiting in their big feather bed. She never asked where he'd been. She didn't need to. He was 28 years old, she was 26, they'd been together 11 years. She knew him, he knew her. If he wasn't with her and he wasn't working, or out in the woods, then he was doing something that was none of her business, and that she didn't want to know about.

It didn't bother her. She knew he'd always come home to her, just like he knew she'd never leave.

He made love to her. Then he told her what had happened to Merle. And then she knew on her own what he had to do. She didn't speak of it.

He told her he'd be leaving real early come morning, and that he'd likely be home mid morning. She just nodded and kissed him.

He got up from the bed and she got up too. He went in the kitchen and got the whetstone from the drawer. He took the cheap knife and he honed it until it was razor-sharp.

She made him a venison roast sandwich and cracked him a beer. "Thanks Becky."

"Gonna be real fucked up for a while girl. But when shit settles down n Merle's on the mend, I'ma take ya ta that meadow, the one ya like so well with the wildflowers. We'll stay a couple days." And he smiled a crooked little half smile at her, and she smiled back.

He stood, hugged her hard and they just nodded and looked to each other, "Ya work on yer quiltin' today?"

"No not today, today I done some bead work. I've lost my heart for the quilt right now, I expect it'll come back soon though."

"I still like the one ya made for our bed the best. Ain't nuthin' about ya I don't think is real special. Ya know that, right?"

"Yes, I know and ya know I feel the same for you, yes?" And he didn't need to say it, he just kissed her.

"Merle's got him a girl Becky, never thought I'd say that."

She smiled, "It's good, Merle needs a woman."

xxxx

He woke up some time during the night and he finally focused in on where he was and what was going on, and he saw her.

She was in the chair near his bed all curled up like a little cat, and thank God someone had thought to put a blanket on her. Never had he wanted to hold anyone the way he wanted to reach for her now and hold her close to him. He was so fucking mad to be in this situation. But he had to be patient. Between him and Brother they'd get this fixed. They'd move on from it.

xxxx

Grant's Roadhouse was off on the highway and he drove over near there, parked his pickup off road in the trees, hidden from that highway.

There was always someone or several someones who had to get a ride home from a bar on a Saturday night, and he knew there'd be cars left in the lot to be picked up by their owners sometime Sunday.

He put on his gloves and found an older American model, perfect for hot wiring. Shit, the door wasn't even locked. He drove to within a block of that industrial park / warehouse area. He walked to it in his new black clothes.

These guys were making it too easy for him because yep, there it was, upstairs window, light on, probably the bathroom.

And damn if one of those dumbasses hadn't left a downstairs window not quite closed. Maybe these guys all had death wishes. The thought made him smile.

He slipped through the window and up the stairs. There on a cot sleeping on top of a sleeping bag was a short, fat balding fucker. Daryl recognized him instantly.

He pressed a knee into the asshole's throat and sliced both his femoral arteries. It took four minutes for fucker to die.

The next one he spotted was a long lean dark skinned fellow. He had a blue bandanna on, shit, who sleeps in their bandanna? But the important thing was Daryl recognized him, the same as he had the other son of a bitch. And he did him the same way he did that one.

He went right out the way he'd come in and made his way back to the borrowed vehicle. He drove over to Grant's, parked the car where it had been, and went to his truck.

He slipped off a glove, opened his door and got out a large garbage bag. He stripped off the shoes and every bit of clothing, even his skivvies. He put everything in that garbage bag except the knife, tied a knot in it and put it in the bed of the pickup.

He'd taken the two paper sacks from WalMart and one was on the seat next to him, he carefully laid the knife on it. The other one was under his feet, a disposable floor mat. He'd left the keys in the ignition and he fired it up and headed home. He was freezing, he cranked up the heat and it warmed up quickly.

He pulled in, got out of the pickup and set the paper sack with the knife on it on the ground. He took the seat covers off, and the bag that had been used as a floormat. He grabbed the garbage bag from the pickup bed. He threw everything in the big metal drum they used as a burn barrel, except the paper sack with the knife. He doused the contents of the barrel in gas and set fire to it. He went over to the back porch and grabbed the towel and the bar of soap, and then picked up the knife and threw the paper sack in the burn barrel.

She was watching him from the window. She saw him walk into that freezing cold river water, wash the knife with soap and huck the knife down river. He put his whole body under. He came up and started scrubbing on himself with the bar of soap. Even his hair. When he was done he got out, dried off with the towel, and threw the towel and the bar of soap in the burn barrel.

Then he went in to her. She was waiting for him with a warm blanket and a steaming cup of coffee.

He wrapped himself in the blanket, took a gulp of the hot liquid and laid on the sofa. She laid on top of him, trying to share her body heat.

He smiled up at her, "Mornin' Becky."

"Mornin' Daryl. Ya hungry?"

"Yeah I am, been a busy mornin'."

She fixed him elk steak, eggs and grits, his favorite Sunday breakfast. "This here is real good Becky, just like always, I'm a lucky man. I'ma get myself dressed n go check on Merle. I know the answer but I'ma ask ya. Ya wanna come?"

"No I don't think I can, I'm sorry. Maybe when he gets back ta his house I can go there. K?"

"Ya know ya ain't gotta say sorry Becky, 'course it's okay, n it's gonna be okay with Merle, he ain't expectin' ya. After I visit a bit then I'm comin' back n spendin' the rest a my day with ya. Been missin' ya. Ya want me ta get anythin' from town?"

"No, we don't have any needs right now. I do have sumthin' for Merle if you'll take it ta him. I's savin' it for his birthday, guess I'll have ta think a sumthin' else."

xxxx

A nurse who recognized Beth from their apartment complex offered her a ride home when she got off shift. Beth jumped at the chance she'd shower and put on some fresh clothes.

"I'll be back soon Merle. Please rest and just think about getting better." And all he could think was that he wanted to get better so he could hold her. He was already tired of not being able to talk to her, not being able to reach for her. Fuck.

* * *

Not much time passed until Daryl showed up. "Hey brother, done my half a the work. Bagged two before breakfast. Guess I'm in first place. Everythin' looks okay at yer place, don't think it was bothered."

He took a blanket from a paper sack and laid it on his brother. "Becky made ya this afghan. She's feelin' bad on accounta she didn't come. I told her ya don't expect it."

Merle nodded his head as best he could and moved his hands to rest on the blanket. He tried to smile and it was close enough to one for Daryl to recognize it. "I'll tell her ya like it an yer mighty happy ta have it."

* * *

His brother was there visiting when she got back, "Would you like me to go to the cafeteria or something so you can have private time."

Daryl actually smiled at that, "Nah girl, that's alright, I already shared all a my secrets with him. Ya gotta share yers now cuz I'm goin' home."

Then he looked to his brother, "Ya be good now dumbass, don't be tryin' ta move around n shit, ya got healin' ta do or yer gonna fuck yerself up worse."

And as much as she was taken aback by the gruffness of his brother's voice and the language that he used, she was glad he'd said it.

 **A/N I am not a murderer, a medical professional or a CSI, so let's hope I got that right :) I'd like very much to read your thoughts/ comments / reviews. Thanks so much! xo**

 **If you haven't, please check my tumblr for story updates and photos of Merle and Beth. bethylmethbrick dot com**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Thank you all so much for reading along and I thank you for your nice comments, for following and for the faves. It seems most of you were interested in learning more about Daryl's wife, Becky. You'll learn a little more about her in this chapter and Beth will meet her. This is a Merle and Beth story, but during this time Daryl and Becky are playing an important role, and they will again later in our story.**

 **Now let's check in on Merle.**

He lay there feeling like a worthless piece of shit, he couldn't move, he could barely utter a sound, he imagined he looked like something from a horror movie and yet, there was that sweet woman.

She was sitting in that uncomfortable looking little chair and reading him a book. The story was about some cowboys that were cattle ranching in Texas, then going on a cattle drive all the way up to Montana. What he mostly enjoyed was the tone of her sweet voice.

He'd bet money she'd never read a book like that for herself. He was sure she'd picked one she thought he'd like.

And damn, it made him feel so guilty, he knew he didn't deserve this level of attention and care from her. He'd planned to use her, take from her, drop her and move on. Yeah he deserved what happened to him, he'd needed a good ass-whooping because she'd proved to him what a good woman she was. He never would deserve her, but that didn't mean he wouldn't hang around just as long as she'd have him.

So he was willing to concede he needed his ass kicked but he couldn't accept who did it and how they did it. Of course a couple of them had now gone to meet their maker for their bad decision, thanks to Little Brother.

And just as soon as he got up and out of this goddamn joint he'd take care of those other two.

Daryl would be keeping a close eye on his little Cupcake while he was laid up, and he had two big feelings surrounding that. He was grateful to know Little Brother had it covered. But he was pissed off that he couldn't take care of her himself.

Every once in a while she'd get up out of that chair and come over to him, she'd put a hand to his head and stroke his hair, or rest a hand on his shoulder. She'd say all manner of sweet things to him, tell him to please get better, that she missed his voice, missed giving him a kiss, and that he owed her that nice dinner he'd promised her.

Damn. As fucked up as he was, as bad as everything hurt, as shitty as he felt, he still wanted her.

xxxx

It was late Sunday afternoon, and he and Becky were listening to bluegrass music and working in their vegetable garden.

That's when Grimes pulled up. He got out of the squad and walked to them. "Daryl, Becky how're y'all doing today?"

Daryl squinted up at him, "We're doin' just real fine Ricky, how're you doin'? And why are ya workin' on Sunday?" Becky just kept turning that soil like she hadn't seen or heard a thing. She knew, and she knew Daryl knew, exactly why the sheriff had come to call.

"Well that's a good question, I'd be doing a whole lot better if I wasn't working, probably be home on the sofa watching football, but I have a couple of open murder investigations going on this lovely Sunday afternoon."

"No shit? Who's dead?" Daryl's face was stone and Grimes knew it wasn't going to crack. They'd been down this road 10 years ago. He hadn't broken then and he wouldn't now. Still, the Sheriff had a job to do.

"C'mon Daryl we both know you know something. I'm pretty damn sure those are the same guys that were making Beth Greene so uncomfortable. And just a couple of weeks ago another one of their gang got his ass kicked in a major way. That little assault had Merle Dixon written all over it. And gee, then in some crazy coincidence Merle gets beaten just shy of death.

It's really hard to imagine the Dixons aren't somehow involved in this."

"Sounds ta me like yer doin' a lotta guessin' an imaginin' Sheriff, but what I can't imagine is what all that could possibly have to do with me. Now Becky she was hopin' her an I was gonna have this afternoon together ta work in our garden, I been promisin' her this day all week. But ya know, if ya feel a need ta arrest me an haul me in, well I guess I can't fight that. Otherwise, if ya ain't arrestin' me then I'd like ta keep my promise ta my wife."

Even though law enforcement was his profession, and he was quite fond of that profession, Grimes left hoping he never would find evidence against Daryl Dixon. As ornery as Daryl could get, and as big a smartass as he could be, he was a helluva guy and Rick respected just about everything the man was.

And being honest with himself, he didn't know for sure that even if he had ironclad evidence against him, he could ever follow through and arrest Daryl, and take him from Becky. Sometimes his job just plain sucked.

xxxx

When Beth walked out of her apartment Monday morning to make her way to work, Daryl Dixon was waiting for her in his pickup truck. He got out and opened the passenger door, "Mornin', I'll be takin' ya ta work today an walkin' ya over ta court."

She was more than a little surprised, but she also felt kind of happy. Merle must have asked him to do this, and as much as Daryl was a mystery to her, she did feel better being escorted.

In the truck he told her, "I'll be by at noon, an I'll be takin' ya home or ta the hospital after ya get off, whichever ya want. Ya need anythin' else, ya call me. One a them assholes looks at ya the wrong way, ya call me. Don't be takin' no chances. Ya hear?"

"Yes, and thank you Daryl." He just nodded. Beth kind felt the urge to laugh, he certainly wasn't the smooth talker his brother was.

But she appreciated everything about this man, because she could tell from the minute she saw him with Merle that they shared something, something above and beyond their brotherly bond. And she would always be grateful to Daryl for finding Merle and getting him help.

When Daryl showed up at lunch to walk her from the courthouse back over to the sheriff's department, he surprised her again. He sat quietly at the table with her, opened an ancient metal lunch box and began silently eating. He was no communicator that was obvious.

So she made an effort to communicate with him, "What is it you do Daryl?"

"I set tile." Certainly not one to brag about design work, reputation or success, he left it at that. Yep, Daryl Dixon was no big talker.

His lunch on the other hand looked delicious and a lot like something that would be in a lunch box 75 years ago. There was no foil or zippered baggies, or plastic wrap or even wax paper. Everything was wrapped in what looked to be handmade pouch-like bags lined in cheesecloth. There was a sandwich made with some kind of meat, it was on rustic homemade and hand sliced bread. He had another little parcel that held fresh radishes and heirloom carrots, and a final parcel with molasses cookies that looked delicious. Beth was thinking Daryl's wife must be a throwback to another era.

She decided maybe it was her job to do all the talking so she told him briefly about the trial, and the men that had been making her so nervous and frightened. Her voice was breathy with nervous energy and she spoke quickly, "And guess what the sheriff told me this morning? Two of those men were murdered yesterday! Can you believe that Daryl? It's shocking isn't it?"

He was wondering where the fuck Merle found this woman. She was sweet, no doubt about that, and she seemed somehow innocent, those things just didn't fit Merle's female companion M.O. Not at all. And she sure as shit didn't look the part. Way too wholesome looking.

He liked her though, she was real nice and he knew she was trying to be friendly, and everything about her seemed real genuine.

He decided he needed to keep up his end of the conversation so he nodded, "Yeah, shocking."

And he was hoping she'd tell Merle that story just the way she'd told him because damn, brother was going to fucking love that shit.

 **The Sheriff**

He was sure Daryl Dixon had killed those two scumbags, hell they'd died in the exact same manner as those three bastards that had turned up dead 10 years ago. No one had been killed by that particular method since.

Rick had only been on the job six months when he was the responding officer at the crime scene where it all started. He'd never seen anything so awful, never seen so much blood, never seen a young woman so brutally attacked. Daryl had been there with her, trying to hold her without hurting her further, silent tears running down his face.

Rick hoped to God he'd never see anything like that again.

The sadists that had so viciously attacked Becky, and very nearly killed her, they were the worst kind of fucking assholes in the world.

But there was no hard evidence against those three bastards. Even though he, Merle and Daryl were all certain they knew they were the three that had done it, those men were free. Well they were for a week anyway.

Rick didn't feel any pity for them when they were murdered; he felt nothing but relief that they were dead.

Those bastards would never hurt another woman the way they hurt Becky.

There was no doubt in Rick's mind that Daryl, who at the time was an 18 year old kid, had been the one to take them out. With maybe some guidance from Merle.

Rick would never admit it to another living soul, but he didn't fault Daryl for what he'd done. He even admired him for it. No one deserved to die more than the men he'd killed.

Daryl Dixon hadn't had a run-in with the law since.

 **Two Weeks Later**

It was Thursday morning and Merle was finally coming home from the hospital. He was never so fucking happy to leave anywhere in his life. He just wanted to be in his own home. With her there.

Beth was so excited he was going to be coming home, these past two weeks felt like two years. She wanted to care for him, wanted to hold him, wanted to just share quiet, private time with him, without someone coming in to tend to one thing or another.

And thank God the trial was over. The judge had sentenced Joe Jones to 15 years. She was feeling great relief.

She'd asked the sheriff if she could use two of her sick days to help out Merle. That would get her a four day weekend. The sheriff agreed.

Before Daryl arrived at the hospital to pick them up Merle got quite serious, he took her hand and looked in her eyes. "You're gonna be meetin' Daryl's wife today Beth. I'm honored ta have her come ta my home, she don't leave where they live or the woods often, only a couple times I can think of, both times ta come ta my place. She don't like to mix with anyone she don't know. I'm sure she's a little scared an nervous ta meet ya.

She's a real special gal his Becky. Thing is though, when ya see her ya won't be able ta help bein' shocked. Ya just gotta try real hard ta look passed what ya first see, and don't be too bothered."

Beth didn't comment, but she could see this was hard on Merle to talk about and that he was moved. "I ain't goin' into the story right now, I ain't I can't, but the short of it is she was hurt real bad, was 10 years ago. She was attacked by three muther…uh jerks, and they sliced her up bad, her whole body, but they paid special attention ta her face. Seems they done it for some kinda perverted fun.

Rick was sure they was on some kinda drugs and who knows what the fuck they was thinkin', sorry. But with Daryl it's like he don't see them scars at all. Brother's been in love with that woman since he was 17 years old, he just sees her.

They're real happy with their life out there in the woods. It's where they both belong. They was born about 200 years late I reckon."

He saw she her eyes were moist and he gave her hand a little squeeze. She gave him a small smile, "I'll manage it Merle. I feel grateful she's willing to meet me."

* * *

Merle was right about all of it. The scars were horrific Beth had never seen anything like them. She wondered how in the world this woman had ever survived the attack. She wore a long sleeve blouse buttoned up to the neck, and a full length skirt. She was as covered up as she could be without being in gloves and a veil. And the scars were even on her otherwise delicate looking hands.

But still she could tell under all of that how pretty Becky was. And the woman had gorgeous thick hair, a sort of red color. She wore it in an old-fashion braided style.

Beth didn't miss the way Daryl stayed close, never taking his eyes from her.

Becky and Merle shared a hug and she gave him a small handmade bag, "This will help ya brother, a lot more'n any a that crap from the doc will." She smiled at him then and he laughed softly. "I made ya up a liniment. Ya just put it on where ya got pain an it'll help ta ease it, and I made ya some special tea, drink that three times a day. Yer gonna be back ta yer ornery self in no time."

She'd brought food, a rabbit stew and soda bread, and old-fashioned iced raisin cookies for dessert. It was simple fare and so delicious. Everyone thanked her and Beth heard Daryl softly tell her, "Ya outdone yerself again Becky."

She was friendly but very shy with Beth, almost reluctant to look in her eyes. But it was all new and Beth was sure it would take them time.

She and Beth were cleaning up from the meal, Daryl had finally retreated to the front room with Merle. Becky softly said, "I'm real glad ta see ya with Merle. He's a good man. Oh he's a rough one, and hard, but ya get passed all that and you'll find a good heart. He don't even know he has it. But ya find that good heart Beth an ya hang onto it. Ya won't go wrong with a Dixon man."

* * *

When his brother and Becky left he asked her to come to him, sit in that big chair with him. "Are you sure Merle, won't I hurt you?"

"Girl I have thought of nothing but holdin' onto ya for more'n two weeks now. If I don't get a chance ta do that, that's what's gonna hurt me."

She smiled and crawled up in his lap. He told her how much her visits had meant to him, how she'd helped him through some very dark times. He told her he'd never had anyone read him a story until she did, and how much he enjoyed that just because it was her reading it. "I felt ya cared for me Beth, an that meant more ta me than I can tell ya in words."

He closed his eyes, held her tight and took in the softness of her, the fragrance of her, and her gentle touch.

He might have even prayed, prayed she never saw the real him and wanted to leave.

 **A/N Well we've made the transition and gotten Merle home. I'd say Merle and Beth's relationship has moved forward without either of them really being aware. And Daryl and Becky seem to have accepted Beth into their very tight Dixon circle. We'll see how things move forward from here. Thanks so much, please comment / review. xo**

 **For updates and story photos, please visit my tumblr blog bethylmethbrick :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Thank you my lovers of Merle Dixon! We are a small but mighty group :) This chapter picks up right where we left off, with Beth on Merle's lap. *sigh***

He woke up just like he'd fallen asleep, with her on his lap and in his arms. He could tell by her soft breathing she was still asleep. It surprised him how much this pleased him.

He owned it and there was use no denying it, he was a hit and run kind of guy. Never cared to stay around and cuddle with anyone, ever. But he found that this suited him real good. Beth Greene asleep in his arms brought Merle Dixon a sense of peace. Peace was a thing he knew little about. Life for him seemed to always have consisted of one form of chaos after another.

Would he really be able to get accustomed to a life such as this? Daryl had, but even though they were brothers, Daryl was a very different man than him. He was the sweet one with the soft inner core. And he'd been in love with Becky since he was a kid. Yeah that was different.

He was afraid of having these feelings for her, afraid of being so vulnerable. As soon as she figured him out, saw through him, she'd be gone.

He was an asshole who'd done every kind of wrong a man could do, and had been quite proud at the times he did those things. No one had to tell him that he was an asshole, fuck, no one knew better than him what he was.

She began to stir and he pulled her closer to him. He didn't want her getting up and moving away from him. Not now, he wasn't ready.

And damn if he didn't want her right now. Hell he wasn't even sure he could make that work as beat up as he was. But he'd sure be willing to try if she'd be agreeable.

She stirred again and those pretty blue eyes opened and he smiled, "Hey Cupcake ya have a nice rest did ya?"

And fuck if she didn't wrap an arm around one of his shoulders and nuzzle her little face sleepily into his neck, "Yes Merle." And he felt that old familiar stirring and he knew, yeah he could make love to her right now.

But that's not how he was planning to have this happen with Beth Greene. He was going to do this the way it would be right for her. The romance, taking the time, little steps to get to that big step. He was going to try and break his old pattern, he wanted to do that with her. He wanted to be a good man to this woman. He never wanted to treat her any way but right. Fuck he wondered if he was capable.

So he kissed her on the forehead and said, "I know yer sleepy it's been a real long day. Ya better get ta bed now an get yourself a good night sleep."

She sleepily rose from his lap and looking at her he almost regretted that decision he'd just made to be honorable, because damn this woman, ah shit. "G'night now Beth, see ya in the mornin'."

"Goodnight Merle, sleep tight." And she walked to the guest room.

* * *

He woke to the smells of coffee and bacon. That was a first. His whole body ached but he hurried to put on a pair of sleep pants a t-shirt and his house shoes. Not because he was thirsty or hungry, no he just wanted to see her.

She was at the range wearing a pair of flannel sleep shorts and a little t-shirt. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and she was wearing fuzzy pink slippers. All he could think about was how much he'd like waking up to that sight every morning.

"Ya know Cupcake ya don't have ta do all this for me. I appreciate it just a whole lot, it's wonderful. I just don't want ya thinkin' ya gotta care for me. I should be cookin' for you."

She smiled up at him, "Well sometime soon I may let you do the cooking but for now I want to care for you." And she leaned up and kissed his cheek and damn if he wasn't looking forward to changing his ways, being the kind of man Beth Greene deserved.

But first he had to kill those two bastards.

* * *

He'd puttered around the place just a bit, checking on things. It didn't look like anything had been bothered. Not in the house or in the garage.

Just that little bit of walking around, the minor activity, had seemed like a lot to his weakened body and now he was back in his chair. Johnny Cash was on the player and he was reading a book she'd gotten him. But mostly he was watching her.

She had her easel set up in the living room and she was painting a wildflower scene from a photo she'd taken. He was fascinated by the process, by her talent, by her.

There was a knock on the kitchen door and she put her things down to answer. "Nah Beth you keep a goin' there. It's either Little Brother or Rick."

Then he called to her from the kitchen, "It's Daryl I'ma show him sumthin' in the garage, be back in a few."

Once in the privacy of the garage Daryl told him what he'd found out about the two remaining shitheads. Where they were hold up and where they hung out. And he made his offer, "I can handle it for ya brother, ya still got healin' ta do."

"Nah Little Brother I'ma take care a these guys an their buddy Joe, and then I'm outta the killin' business an on the straight n narrow." Daryl just nodded. He knew what was making his brother sing this new tune.

"C'mon in an say hey ta Beth 'fore ya go. Ya wanna beer?"

"Sure I'm always happy ta have a beer with my brother. Can't stay long though, I gotta pick up a few things for Becky n get on home. I got a deer ta butcher."

He handed Beth a little package, "Becky wanted me ta give ya this."

The brothers went to the porch to drink their beers and she looked at the small package, she hadn't opened it yet, but she felt so touched the other woman had thought to give her a gift. It was wrapped in fabric with a ribbon also made of fabric. She opened it to find it held an intricately beaded leather bracelet. There was a note written in small feminine handwriting, "A small gift for you Beth. The leather is from a deer Daryl harvested, the beading is from my heart. Your friend, Becky." Beth was surprised to find the little note brought tears to her eyes.

 **Six Weeks Later**

He'd felt like he was 100% back for the past two weeks, and so late tonight he'd finish the job his little brother had started.

Once it was done, that was it for him. His new leaf was going to get turned over. He was going to do everything he could to become the man Beth Greene would want. The kind of man she thought he was.

He'd already taken care of Joe Jones; he'd never cause another problem. It had been easy enough. The guy was known to like a little something from the needle to mellow him out. Merle had an informant on the inside doing two more years on a big drug rap, but Merle had saved his ass from a far harsher sentence. The dude owed him. Merle had visited the informant and slipped him a hot shot. He told him to be sure it was Joe Jones' next fix. As a bonus the informant would get a deposit of $75 a month in his commissary for the rest of his stay.

Joe Jones was dead in his cell the next morning. As far as the authorities had been concerned it was just another O.D. by an inmate. No one really cared.

Rick had asked Merle about it, he'd expected that. Hell he knew Rick knew what he was all about. What Merle also knew was as long as it was "clean" Rick wouldn't pursue it.

* * *

He took her out to a casual dinner after work to that little bistro she loved and he could barely tolerate, of course he'd neglected to tell her he didn't care for it. He wanted to continue the evening, take her home and kiss her and play around a little. Instead he pretended to have a terrible headache.

He felt guilty because she was worried. "I'm so sorry Merle. Is there anything I can do for you?"

He was still the man he'd always been in so many ways because what he wanted to answer was, "Hell yeah fuck my brains out, I'll feel a whole lot better." But what he did say was, "That's real sweet Cupcake, but what I probably need is just a good night's rest."

* * *

He did just like Daryl had, the same supplies, clothes, ultra-sharp throwaway knife, and a stolen car. He went to their new flop, a meth house he knew real well, he had a couple of his informants who flopped there. He slipped in and did one and then he did the other. Just like Daryl had done the first two. He dumped the stolen vehicle and picked up his own, and then he drove to Daryl's.

He stripped, threw everything in the burn barrel and he got the paper sack with the knife, dropped the sack in the barrel. He took himself, the knife and the bar of dial soap to the creek.

They'd heard the truck pull up. She'd wanted to go to the window, Daryl gently took her by the shoulders, "It's Merle Becky ya don't wanna be lookin'. Can ya put the coffee on for him please? I'll put a couple more logs on the fire an get a blanket."

He stayed long enough to warm up and then made his way home. They were all taken care of, now he could get on with his life.

* * *

He was surprised it took until 11 the next morning for Rick to call him in his office. "Whadya know Merle?"

"Let's see, I know its Friday, I know I'm clean an I wish I was high, an I know I got a drug deal goin' down in 'bout 45 minutes an I know I oughta be there ta make a bust. Whadya know Sheriff?"

"What I know is in the past two weeks Joe Jones and what was left of his gang have all turned up dead. I know I'm not a big believer in coincidences. How about you?"

"Nope, I ain't either. I'll puzzle on it for ya though an let ya know if I come up with anythin'."

"Yeah you do that Merle, and any busts you make today you make sure they're clean."

"Yessir Sheriff only kinda bust I make is a squeaky clean one." And Merle figured that was the end of it. He knew Grimes couldn't give a fuck less about the dead men, he was glad to see them and their brand of trouble gone. As long as there was no evidence and no one could come back on him.

* * *

She'd greeted him with concern that morning, "Are you feeling better today Merle?"

"I am thank you Beth. Ya know ya don't have ta worry 'bout me so much, it was just a headache. I'll be just fine for our date tonight an I'm looking forward to it."

And he planned to talk to her, why the hell not? He was on a roll this week he might as well make it clear to her just what it was he wanted from her, and in turn he was anxious to hear just what it was she wanted.

xxxx

They'd been dating for a couple of months now, hell she'd stayed at his house for four days when he'd first come home from the hospital, but he'd promised himself he'd take it slow, and he had.

He hadn't pushed for anything, oh he wanted to but he'd held back. Truth was though, he didn't really care to do it that way anymore, shit he was ready. Long passed ready.

He cared about Beth a lot more than he ever wanted to. She was smart, sweet and talented as an artist both on paper and musically. She was warm and damn, she was beautiful. He was a beaten man and he knew that, and fuck if he didn't love her. That was a little something he hadn't planned on.

He picked her up early at 6:30, and they went for easy and casual, Mexican food. She decided to try a Margarita and that made him smile. It didn't take much for her to catch a buzz and she was even cuter than usual when she did.

And it might loosen her up to talk a little. When she ordered the second he questioned, "Ya know I don't mind Cupcake but are ya gonna be okay with two?" and then he'd laughed, "A course now that I got my strength back I can carry ya if I gotta."

And there was that bright red face he loved. "I'm getting my courage up because I want to talk to you about something."

He felt some concern now, she wasn't going to cut him loose was she? Wouldn't that just be the way it'd go? He finally finds a woman, falls for her and boom, he's sent packing. He'd expected that, expected she'd catch on to the asshole he was. Maybe this was it.

But she smiled at him so sweetly he hoped to fuck that wasn't it.

They went to her place and he went right to "his" cabinet first thing, poured himself a stiff shot of Jameson to calm his anxiety, "Can I get ya anythin' Beth?"

She turned pink again, "After my drinking I think I probably just need a glass of water please."

He brought the drinks back to the sofa with him, handed her the water, bent and nuzzled into her neck. He pulled back and asked her, "What are ya wantin' ta talk about Beth?"

She swallowed hard and that face was glowing pink now, "I know we're, you know, getting close to that point Merle. I know you're ready for more um physical closeness and honestly I am to." He was already feeling a whole lot better. "And I don't want you to be disappointed in me." And now she looked worried.

"What is it Beth? I don't think I could be disappointed in you."

And now he was sure he saw little tears in her eyes, "It's just that, well I have to be honest with you because well I know you'll know, you'll be able to tell. I'm not a virgin."

Shit, he'd never been more relieved to hear anything, in fact he wanted to laugh. Could she be any fucking cuter? He didn't know how. He put his arms around her tightly, "Sweetness, ya think that's gonna make me want ya less? Ya think I ain't been around a little? Or a lot? Why would I expect ya ta be a virgin?" Although truth was, he was surprised because she sure as hell acted inexperienced.

It must have been the alcohol because she continued, she told her story of her one experience. Some boyfriend from high school she'd dated her whole senior year. He was the most popular boy at school and he'd treated her nice, told her he loved her and she'd believed it. Then that night after the senior prom she'd given in to his demands for more. After that he never wanted anything to do with her again.

"He'd just been playing a game with me, trying to make a conquest and when he did he dropped me."

Well this was a lot to digest, she may not technically be a virgin but shit, she may as well be if that was it. One quick night with a high school boy who probably hadn't properly seen to her satisfaction. She hadn't had any kind of good experience. And damn that had been a few years ago. Yep, she might as well be a virgin.

"Well I'm real sorry ta hear someone would treat ya like that Cupcake, that ain't right but it does happen. He was obviously an asshole who didn't deserve a fine woman like you. See here though, I ain't here just for that Beth, I promise ya that. If that was all it was gonna be for me that's what I'd tell ya. I'd be honest 'bout it. So I'm bein' honest with ya now when I tell ya, I love ya Beth. I ain't ever told no one that except Daryl and Becky. I ain't ever told a woman or felt it for one. Not until you Beth, yer the woman for me the woman I wanna have in my life. Cuz I do love ya."

And then she had tears, "I love you too, I've known for a while now."

And he kissed her with a new desire. Merle Dixon was overwhelmed in so many ways. And he wanted her in a new way, and he wanted to prove this love he felt.

"Can we take next weekend and go away together? I'd like ta take ya to Atlanta, take ya out wine ya an dine ya, and I'd like ta make love to ya Beth."

When he looked at her that way she knew she wanted this too, she wanted it more than anything. "Yes."

 **A/N Well, well. We covered an awful lot of territory with Merle Dixon in this chapter. The next one might get a little hot :) Thanks so much for reading, I would appreciate your thoughts / comments. xo  
**

 **We've had an introduction to Daryl and Becky and as I promised many of you, I've written a separate fic of their backstory. It's titled "The Tale of Daryl and Becky" (keeping it simple), and has been posted here on FF if you're interested.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Thank you all so much! I love writing Merle Dixon and I love you guys for reading my Merle fics. You make me happy. Our couple are on their way…**

They'd taken Friday afternoon off and they were on their way to Atlanta. Merle Dixon was feeling just a little nervous. It was a feeling he didn't often get and one he didn't care for at all.

She was causing it. He'd glance at her from time to time and see the woman was biting a lip, and she was a little fidgety, and damn, he swore she was even more pale than usual.

He could take it no more and he took her hand, "I can tell ya got a little case a the nerves here Beth, an I just wanna assure ya, ain't nuthin' gonna happen this weekend that ya don't wanna have happen. All ya ever gotta do, ever, is tell me 'no' an I'm gonna accept that. I ain't sayin' I'ma like it, but I'm sayin' I'ma do things the way ya want."

She looked to him with the smallest of smiles on her lips, "I really am looking forward to spending this weekend with you. You've made such wonderful plans, and truly, any time I spend with you I'm happy. It's just that I don't want to be a disappointment to you."

And that's when he pulled the car over to the side of the road and gave her a somewhat stern look, "I'm always gonna try real hard not ta be one a them assholes that's all the time tellin' his woman what ta do. But Cupcake, I'm tellin' ya right now I don't wanna hear that crap from ya no more. If the time ever comes that ya somehow disappoint me I promise I'll let ya know, k?"

Fuck, he was worried he'd be the one to disappoint her.

She was bright pink and damn if that didn't bring a little stirring to him. "I promise Merle, I'm going to be positive and I know we'll have a nice time. And I do trust you to take care of me." He wrapped his arm around her then and drew her to him, hugging her close and tight. He pulled away just enough to kiss her deeply.

"Damn girl I better quit this an get back ta drivin' or I might not be able ta make it to Atlanta." And he winked and put the vehicle back in gear.

She didn't know why she was so nervous, it didn't really make sense. She wanted Merle in every way. She was in love and when she looked at him she felt such a strong desire for physical closeness. And she trusted him to treat her well. But it nagged at her mind, she'd had a bad experience and it would break her heart if this went some how wrong, if he hurt her.

* * *

The hotel was beautiful, really quite elegant and Beth was impressed. It looked like it must be very expensive and she knew the kind of money deputies made. Even the Chief Deputy didn't make the kind of money for this sort of place.

What Beth didn't know was Merle Dixon had plenty of money. He'd made a small fortune back in his dealing days, and he had quite a nice stash of green tucked away in a hidey hole. No one knew about that but him and Little Brother, and that was how it would stay.

Their room was gorgeous, a one bedroom suite that was bigger than her apartment. The furniture and décor were exquisite, and there was a lovely city view. "Oh Merle this is so beautiful, but my goodness it must cost a month's salary for the weekend. Thank you for making this so special."

Her sweetness always got to him and it made him want her more, but it also made him feel that little bit of guilt like he'd somehow ruin her life, even if he didn't mean to. And he hated to have her worry about money, but of course he couldn't very well tell her she didn't need to worry, and why.

As a habit he didn't spend much, he didn't need to he had everything he needed, and that was a good thing. He couldn't appear to be rolling in dough on his salary, that would raise suspicions. But shit he was going all out while he was out of town with her.

"Aw Cupcake ya know yer worth a lot more ta me than this. Ya deserve the best an that's what I'ma always try ta provide ya with." He took her in her arms and at first he just held her, knowing she was still feeling unsettled. But he couldn't let the moment pass without kissing her with plenty of passion, and he was relieved when she responded with equal feeling.

The more she was with him the more she was convinced Merle Dixon was the best thing to ever come into her life. He was always so thoughtful, always putting her first, always treating her so special. She wondered how in the world she got so lucky as to have this man love her.

* * *

The bellman had set their suitcases in the bedroom and Merle suggested to her, "We got plenty of time before dinner if ya want a little privacy ta freshen up, get ready or whatever. I'll just be right out here in the livin' room. I'll turn on sports center or sumthin'."

"Well a bubble bath does sound wonderful." She smiled at him. Ah fuck that did sound wonderful, he wanted ta give her that bubble bath. Shit he'd never had one, maybe she'd let him take one with her. Yeah, probably not.

She didn't come back out of that room for almost two hours, but he knew the reputation women had for taking their sweet time getting dressed for the evening. And the sight of her when she did emerge from that bedroom, well fuck it was worth the wait.

She was a beauty in a red dress that fit right and tight. She was going to give every man in the joint a hard attack.

"I'm sorry it took me so long Merle I hope you won't be rushed now." She smiled so sweetly and those cheeks were so pink, well so what if he only had twenty minutes for himself? It didn't take him long to shower, shave and get dressed.

When he came out of the bedroom she was all smiles for him. He looked so handsome in his dark suit. She knew she'd be the envy of every woman in town tonight.

* * *

Their dinner reservation was for right there in the hotel and the restaurant was every bit as plush as the grand lobby and their suite. They sat in a booth in a far corner. One of those half circle type, perfect for sliding in and sitting close.

He asked her if she'd like a cocktail. "I think I would. I liked that pink one you got me the first time we went out, it was delicious. Can we order that?" Damn, didn't she know he'd give her anything?

"Why sure Cupcake, that sounds just right." The waiter came and he ordered her the Cosmo with an extra splash of simple syrup and a sugared rim, for himself a Jameson neat, just like always. He ordered them an appetizer; he figured she'd like that baked brie with pecans. Nothing he'd care to eat but that was okay, this night was about her.

They were sipping their cocktails and nibbling at the cheese and he thought to himself, "Let the evening begin." And that's when he moved his hand to her leg, all the way up to mid-thigh. He gave a gentle squeeze while he smiled that big old smile. And he left his hand there. She let out a small gasp of surprise but she couldn't deny it to herself, it felt good. She looked at him, her neck and cheeks flushed with color, and she gave him a shy smile, "Merle…"

He continued to smile while he softly rubbed his palm along her inner thigh, "I love ya Beth, just showin' ya a little affection. Ya don't mind do ya?"

Now her ears had even gone red and she looked so shy, but she replied, "No I don't mind Merle, it feels nice."

And gawd damn he almost couldn't believe it, his sweet little Cupcake was receptive to a bit of touchy feely.

* * *

Dinner had turned out to be more fun than he'd thought it would be. So upstairs in the ballroom, dancing those slow dances, he got just a little more playful with her.

As he took her hand in his for their first slow dance, he may have "accidentally" let the back of his hand brush against her breast, just for a very brief moment. But he knew she knew what he was doing; he could see it in her eyes and the way she smiled. And he was sure she wasn't upset; she hadn't told him to stop.

While they were moving slowly to the music he might have pulled her close enough to him that she couldn't help but feel his semi hardness, and his hand was so low on her back that it nearly crossed the line of publicly acceptable. Still she had no complaints.

He wasn't going to push it any further, he'd save it for the bedroom.

She kept thinking maybe she shouldn't let him do those things to her here. Touch her on the leg like that, and she wasn't one bit fooled when his hand brushed against her breast. And when he pulled her close to him on the dance floor, oh yes she felt him and she knew what it meant.

But she didn't tell him to stop because the truth was, she liked it.

She wouldn't have liked it if it were anyone else but she knew in her heart, she'd let Merle Dixon have anything from her, she was done saying no to him.

They'd had one more drink in the ballroom and again when they sat his hand went to her leg, and this time she just smiled warmly and then pursed her lips just a little. He smiled broadly at her and asked, "Shall we go to the room?"

"Yes, I think we should."

* * *

He'd planned ahead and when they got to the room there were fresh strawberries and sparkling wine. He got a music station on the TV, nothing too intrusive just some soft jazz.

He poured them each a glass of wine and held his up to her, "Ta the most beautiful woman in the world."

They sipped the wine and he took a strawberry and held it to her lips. She took a bite and when she did he leaned in and kissed her.

"Maybe I should go change now."

"Nah Cupcake why don't ya let me help ya with yer clothes?"

Oh sure she was red but she was also smiling, "That sounds like a very nice idea Merle."

He was surprised by how willing she was in all of this, but he knew there was a physical draw between them and apparently she was feeling it as strongly as him. And he sure wasn't complaining. "Helpin' ya's gonna make me a real happy man. Let me take these things on into the bedroom."

He set the wine and strawberries on the night stand and he dimmed the lights, the soft jazz filled the room. "Beth yer a beautiful woman and not just in the looks department, yer a real beauty on the inside too, sweetest person I ever knew."

He'd never taken this time or this care with a woman, but she was a different kind of woman than Merle Dixon had ever bedded. Because this woman, well he loved her.

"I gotta share sumthin' with ya. I don't want ya bein' shocked later. I got some ungodly lookin' scars, real nasty business." And he removed his dress shirt and then his undershirt. There was no denying it was shocking. He turned just a little and she saw the red, angry looking marks covering his back, chest and abdomen.

But the scars didn't negate the fact that to her his body was perfect. Strong, masculine and muscled and she felt angry about the scars, angry that someone would hurt him, but those scars didn't make him any less attractive to her.

And she told him, "You're the most handsome and sexy man I know Merle Dixon. I'm angry with whoever did that to you, and I trust that sometime you'll tell me about it, but those scars don't make me want you less."

He reached his hands to the back of her head and brought her face to his, their lips met and he kissed her like he was a starving man and she was sustenance.

Their lips were still together and their tongues were exploring when he reached his hands further down to her back, and he moved her zipper down. He paused then and looked in her eyes, "Ya alright Beth?"

"Yes Merle I am, just please don't hurt me."

Now he was confused, and he even felt somehow angry, was she accusing him? "What are ya sayin' here Beth, ya think I'm a bully or sumthin'?"

"It's just that I know there's pain in this, there was before."

"Well I can't answer for what happened before but my way ain't that way. This here what we're gonna do? This is s'posed ta be about the pleasure, not pain. I ain't plannin' ta hurt ya now or ever, an I don't want ya ever ta think I would. Ya said ya trusted me, said ya thought I'd keep ya safe. That's what I'm about for ya Beth, ain't ever about hurtin' ya."

And it was like she suddenly slammed herself into him then, grabbing him around the waist, head pressed tight to his bare chest, "Please don't be angry I do trust you, I do think you'll keep me safe, but I was told it always hurts, that that's part of it. Please show me your way."

"I ain't angry at ya, I'm hungry for ya. And I'ma prove ta ya just how good I can treat ya, how good we can be together." And he pulled the dress up and off her before she could even register what had happened.

His mouth was on her then, on her lips, on her neck, on her shoulders, and she felt herself surrender to this feeling she had. She was enjoying his attentions and she felt relaxed, like he would do just as he said he would.

He unhooked the bra and slipped it off and his mouth sought out her breasts and his hands were on her bottom, pulling her into him.

With what seemed like no effort at all he lifted her up by that pretty bottom and she wrapped her legs around his waist, and their lips were together. This closeness, this intimacy, she'd never felt anything like it.

He was so ready for her, he wanted to just throw her down on that bed and get right to it. But that wasn't how it was going to happen with Beth, because his even stronger desire was to take this slow, get to know every part of that sweet little body.

He laid her and himself down on the bed and he kissed a breast and then her neck and then he looked in her eyes, "Ya got a beautiful little body Beth, perfect in every way."

It was almost in a whisper that she asked, "You don't think my breasts are too small?"

"Nah Cupcake not at all, they're perfect." She'd been so self-conscious about that and his words reassured her, relaxed her, and she enjoyed the attention Merle Dixon was giving her breasts.

He surprised her when he dipped a finger in his glass of wine and used the liquid to moisten her nipple, he smiled up at her for just a moment, and then he sucked and licked the wine away. All she could do was whimper, "Merle."

He looked to her, and then he took his glass and dribbled a little wine in her cleavage and onto her stomach. While he was licking and kissing that up, his hand slipped down in her panties and her breath caught in her throat. His eyes met hers, "Okay?"

"Yes."

And the panties were off, and she was so caught up in the pleasure he was bringing to her, she didn't know when he'd removed his own clothes.

It was then that he moved his mouth between her legs. She'd never imagined he'd be doing that, and at first she was embarrassed and tentative. But what he did with his lips, his tongue, his mouth sent a thrill through her like she never could have imagined. And as he continued his attentions something happened to Beth Greene for the first time, she had an orgasm.

She was trying to catch her breath and trying to absorb what had just happened, when he slipped back up her body and kissed her deeply.

And she felt him, big and hard against her, and then he touched the tip of that hardness to her and he asked, "Okay."

When she answered, "Yes Merle, yes," he slipped that condom on quickly, but it was slowly and methodically that he entered her.

At first his movements were slow, letting her get used to the feeling, to the motion, to him inside her. But soon those strokes became more forceful, more rapid. She was surprised and excited by how good it felt, she hadn't known this feeling was possible. He was kissing her on the lips, nibbling at her ear and at her neck and at her sweet little breasts. He told her, "Ah girl ya got no idea how long I been wantin' this with ya." And he buried his face in her neck while his hands toyed with her nipples and her bottom, and then he slipped one hand between them, where their bodies were joined, and he was rubbing her there when again she felt herself begin to lose control.

He hastened his movements which heightened her pleasure as she fully lost that control, and soon he joined her in that loss.

When they caught their breath he leaned up, looking down on her and he asked her, "Ya okay, all good?"

"Oh Merle, I never knew it could be so wonderful, so special."

He rolled off her then and moved her on top of him. "Damn woman I just wanna hold ya right here with me forever."

 **A/N This seemed like the right place to leave off, for now. We'll pick up here next chapter. Thank you all so much for reading. Please leave comments / reviews, I love hearing your thoughts. xo**

 **For photos and updates on all of my stories, please check my tumblr at bethylmethbrick dot com Happy Day to You All!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Thanks so, so much. I loved your reviews for the last chapter - it seems you all enjoyed the love going on ;) Good times. This chapter picks right up where we left off, yep the Deputy and his Sketch Artist in that fancy hotel in Atlanta. *sigh***

He wasn't used to going out of his way for anyone, ever, unless little brother or Becky needed something from him. But he was all about making this weekend a big deal for her.

He'd ordered room service that included Mimosas, Eggs Benedict, a fruit platter, juice and coffee. On his own he'd have sought out a greasy spoon for some eggs, grits and biscuits.

But she was delighted and the look on her face and the love in her eyes, yeah, it was good. "My goodness Merle drinking champagne at nine in the morning seems so decadent."

He squeezed her hand as he smiled widely and said, "Well Cupcake the folks that do it on the regular prefer if ya say it's sophisticated." And for some reason even that had made her come up all pink cheeked.

That was all the incentive he needed, "Ya think after breakfast ya might want another bubble bath?"

And she was so fucking guileless she didn't even get where he was going with that. "Oh gosh that would be lovely, do I have time?"

"Course there's time, in fact I's thinkin' I'd take the time ta take one with ya." Okay he was trying real hard to mentally keep track of her pink cheek moments, and he was pretty damn sure this was the best one he'd seen yet.

The woman was full of surprises though and she'd giggled nervously and said, "Alright."

And that was all the encouragement Merle Dixon needed. He got on the phone and asked room service to bring a bottle of champagne up right away.

"Do you think its' okay for us to drink a whole bottle of wine in the morning?"

"I think just about anythin' I do with you is a quite a lot more than okay. Besides, we're on vacation we gotta enjoy every minute we can, includin' takin' a little nap after our bath." Ah he was bad, he knew he was and he couldn't give a fuck less, he had all kinds of sinful behaviors he wanted to partake in with this pretty little sketch artist.

When they got in that tub, her sitting right there between his legs, his one hand on her breast and his other holding a glass of champagne, well it was right then he decided he was having his bathroom remodeled and putting in a real nice tub.

xxxx

It was hard coming back to reality but early Sunday afternoon they made the drive home. He carried her bag in her apartment, set it down for her and then took her in his arms, "Cupcake on a scale a one ta ten I'd give this weekend about a million. It was good, you were good, I hate ta see it end." And he kissed her like he was already missing her, he pulled away for a minute and rubbed the back of a finger lightly along her nipple, "Ya rest up now an I'll see ya in the mornin'."

She smiled up at him, "Thank you for a wonderful weekend Merle, I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

As much as he felt like he loved her, knew he loved her, and as much pleasure as she'd brought to him over the weekend, he was glad to have his time alone. He'd been on his own a lot of years and it was what he was used to, what he preferred. He couldn't conceive of ever living with another person.

He knew it worked just right for some, he couldn't imagine Daryl and Becky not being together, or Rick and Michonne, yeah they were rock solid. But he couldn't see it for himself. He was going to be perfectly happy with her in her place and him and in his, and getting together when that's what they both wanted. He hoped it would be often, but the day to day routine of living together? Hell no.

Besides, someday she'd come to realize he wasn't a good man and she'd be gone. Why make it more complicated when that time came?

He'd just smoked a fat one when the phone rang, Little Brother. "Becky wants y'all ta come next Sunday n have dinner with us, maybe 'bout noon. A'ight?"

"Why that's real nice brother. Becky an Beth seem ta have really hit it off, they're gettin' close."

"Yeah, seems so. See ya Sunday." That's how conversations with Little Brother went, not a lot of small talk. Merle got a kick out of it, man they were different.

* * *

She was putting her things away, doing a little bit of housekeeping and getting her things ready for the week to come. Puttering around like she was, she had plenty of time to think about Merle Dixon and she found herself thinking into the future.

There was no doubt in her mind how much she loved the man, and with everything that had happened between them this weekend, it convinced her he was every bit as much in love with her as she was with him.

She imagined if things kept on this way he'd be asking her to marry him sometime in the next few months, and she was already sure she'd say yes.

xxxx

He peeked in the break room early Monday and sure enough there she sat, looking like her sweet innocent, hardworking self, "Hey there Cupcake, how ya feelin'?"

She smiled up at him and yessir that did help to get his morning, hell the whole damn week, started off real good. "Hi Merle, I feel really good and really happy."

He wanted to lay her down right then and right there, but he had heads to bust crosstown. "I's thinkin' maybe we go out for a bite after work tomorrow, maybe go back ta your place after, whaddya think?"

"That sounds nice I'd like that."

"Oh almost forgot ta mention, Daryl n Becky asked us ta have dinner with 'em come Sunday, sound okay?"

"Oh yes I've missed not seeing her these past few days, it sounds wonderful. I sure wish she had a phone."

"Yeah you n Daryl both, but she don't seem ta like 'em an he ain't of a mind ta push her on it. Thank God he's almost a part a this century. I'd hate havin' ta run out ta their place every time I wanna ask him ta meet me for a beer." He laughed, looked around to see who was watching and gave her a quick kiss. "See ya after while."

"See you soon, be careful."

"Always." Or maybe never.

* * *

She was happy he'd made plans with her. She wasn't the kind who felt comfortable asking him if he wanted to come over, or if he wanted to go here or there, she liked when he did the asking. She supposed it was the way she was raised.

And she was happy about going to Becky and Daryl's. It wasn't just that she liked Becky, she did very much. She was sweet, unassuming and seemed to be on the one hand gentle and delicate, and yet Beth already knew her enough, knew enough of her story to know just how strong and brave she was. And she was fascinated by the woman. The way she lived almost as though the outside world didn't exist. Beth was convinced that if Becky had never suffered, had never been left so scarred, she still wouldn't bother with town or most people.

Becky was teaching her to quilt and she loved the creativity and artistry of it. They had that in common, being creative and loving art in all its forms. She couldn't wait to know Becky more as their friendship grew.

Their place fascinated her as well and though she hadn't told anyone, not even Merle, but she was painting a watercolor of it, a gift for Becky.

They'd done a beautiful job building the log home, the inside was a step back in time the same as the outside. Well except maybe the sofa and chairs were more comfy, more overstuffed. Merle told her Daryl had made all their bedroom furniture, including the big four-poster bed. Becky and her Mama had made the feather mattress and the pillows.

What she'd never asked about, and she never would, was the second bedroom. It was all fixed up with a crib, a cradle and a rocking chair, and a short dresser with a pad for changing a baby. But there was no baby, she was at least 90% sure Becky wasn't pregnant and Becky and Daryl had never mentioned children. Merle hadn't mentioned a child had been lost. It was a mystery but definitely one of those where you wait until someone tells you the story unsolicited.

* * *

Tuesday came and Merle took her to eat but she could tell he was anxious to get her home. It seemed to her that ever since she'd agreed to his attentions, he wanted to be intimate all the time and that was fine with her, she was finding she wanted to be intimate with him just as much.

In her heart of hearts she just knew she and Merle Dixon were perfectly suited to each other.

He didn't give a fuck about eating that lousy dinner, all he could think about was getting her clothes off and getting himself on her. He was starting to feel like a damn randy teenager, but shit he just couldn't get enough of Beth Greene. And the best part was she seemed to want to give him all he wanted to have.

She didn't disappoint him, rolling around with her was the most fun a man could have. A helluva a way to spend a Tuesday night.

She asked him to stay over but Merle Dixon wasn't starting that kind of shit, nope he went home.

She thought it was because he respected her and was protecting her reputation.

He knew it was because he had no intentions of ever staying all night at a woman's house, hers or anyone elses. He was an independent operator, always had been and that's how it would stay.

They'd gone out again on Friday night and of course Saturday night and he still hadn't stayed, wasn't going to. In fact what Merle Dixon had done instead was go out when he left her place. Yep, he'd gone over to the Cinnamon Shack both nights. He'd had a couple of beers and a Jameson, maybe two, and just checked out the action.

That tight little Betty was there and she was a delicious looking temptation, but that woman he'd just been with, well she'd sapped him of his strength. That didn't stop him from buying Betty a drink and throwing an arm around her. He didn't feel guilty about flirting with her, he hadn't done anything wrong, just having a drink with a friend.

Merle Dixon had never been a one woman man and he wondered how long it would be until he got that urge to stray, no matter how much in love he was with the little sketch artist.

It was as though Merle Dixon might have been trying to prove to himself he didn't need her, just like he didn't need anyone. He was fine getting all her loving and he did love her, but there was no way he was going to be one of those guys. You know the ones. Go to work and come home to the same woman every day, day after day, week after week, year after year. No. That shit there, that was not who Merle Dixon was or ever wanted to be.

But for now, yeah, for now he liked having that soft place to land. That sweet little Cupcake.

* * *

He picked her up Sunday, gave her a tight hug and rubbed up against her for just a minute. He had the Bike and she'd dressed for it. She had on that pink sweater he liked and a pair of real tight jeans, damn she wasn't looking too innocent in those.

When the women saw each other they hugged and that wasn't lost on Daryl. His wife had a very limited circle of "people", but she seemed to feel good about this woman. That made Daryl feel good about her too, he trusted Becky's instincts about everything.

Beth brought her a gift, a small keepsake box she'd made. She'd painted the outside of the box in a floral pattern to match the wildflowers in Becky's garden. "Oh Beth I love it so. I'm going to put it by my bed so I can see it every mornin' first thing."

Beth was surprised when the sheriff showed up with his girlfriend. The story was that although they weren't married they'd been together for years. Beth had been curious to meet her. She was a strikingly beautiful woman, tall, muscular and feminine. She was soft spoken and Beth noticed how the sheriff paid close attention to everything the woman said, and how the woman paid close attention to everything Rick said, and how sometimes they seemed to communicate by just looking in each others eyes.

She saw a side of the sheriff she'd never seen, relaxed, laughing, and so affectionate with Michonne.

She got the sense this couple was as close to being a part of the very close knit Dixon family as "outsiders" could get.

Merle had brought a case of beer to his brother and the men were all having one. It was interesting because Daryl made his own beer and she'd heard it was excellent, if you like beer.

Beth noticed some sort of subtle "man teasing" going on. They were so different from women. Merle presented Daryl with the beer, "Brought ya this so ya don't gotta share yer good shit with the likes a me an sheriff Ricky.

That's when the sheriff punched at Merle's arm, "If you and your little brother don't quite callin' me Ricky I'ma have Michonne kick both your asses."

Beth would always remember that as the first time she heard Daryl Dixon laugh, "If anyone could it'd be Michonne."

The afternoon was fun and casual. Daryl grilled elk steaks and Becky had made old fashioned side dishes, butter steamed new potatoes, fried green tomatoes, and corn salad. There was a hummingbird cake for dessert but Beth noted Becky also had a big platter of molasses cookies. Cookies seemed to be Daryl's favorite food. And he'd looked in his wife's eyes and told her like he always did, "This here is real good Becky, ya outdone yerself."

She wanted to learn as much as she could about these people, she was thinking someday they might be her family. And she genuinely liked them, they were all such good people and so fun to be around.

* * *

It was a relief to him, he'd worried from the start she'd have trouble accepting his family. Daryl and Becky were not a typical pair, and although he cared for them just as they were, he wasn't sure she'd accept them, feel comfortable around them. The fact that she did made him love her more.

When it came to Beth Greene his love for her was fighting a mighty battle with his reluctance to commit to anything with a woman. Merle Dixon was a conflicted man.

For today and tonight he was going to give her what he had and take what she was willing to give.

 **Two Weeks Later**

Merle was working an undercover job, she hadn't seen him in three days and he'd be working all weekend. Daryl had a tile job that was bucking a deadline and he had to finish up. So she and Becky made plans to spend Saturday together and she was looking forward to it.

Becky and Daryl had a big shop building close by the cabin. Half of it was his domain, taken up with his work tools and supplies, and all his hunting and tanning equipment.

The other half was her quilting, beading, tatting, their freezers and food and supply storage. Beth felt like they were well equipped to survive anything that might happen in the outside world.

She'd come to love the quilting and the way Becky did it all by hand. And she loved this time they had and the visiting, being close with a woman close to her age who was so much like her and yet so different.

Their day was going well, Becky was working on a special job for a customer of Michonne's, a woman expecting triplets. Beth was helping with those three little quilts and the three tiny pillows.

Daryl pulled in the yard and he saw Beth's small sedan there. He knew the women had a day of quilting planned and he aimed to stay out of their way, knowing his wife had her own deadline to meet. But more important to him was he knew his Becky loved the work and he didn't want to be bothering her.

He was on his side of the shop, taking some inventory and sorting his tools for Monday, and he heard their voices through the thin wall that separated the shops.

"Ya ever think 'bout havin' a child Beth?"

"I've always wanted to be a mom I'd love to have children. What about you? Do you and Daryl want children?"

"I used ta want ta be a Mother more than anythin', an when I met Daryl I knew he was the one I wanted ta have my babies with. Daryl wants ta have children, he's got that room ready for a child with furniture he built himself. It's me Beth, look at me, I know I'm frightening ta look at. I'd scare a child." Beth saw the tears in her eyes and her heart broke for her friend.

"That's not right Becky. You're beautiful. Your baby will look at you as Mama, your child won't know you any other way. You're one of the most beautiful and special people I've ever known. Any child would be blessed to have you as their mother. If being a Mama is what you want, and being a Daddy is what Daryl wants, then please my sweet friend don't let fear be your guide."

Standing there quietly listening he had his own tears, hearing those words his brother's woman spoke to his wife. He'd always known he'd let his wife make the decision, it was hers to make. Yes he desperately wanted a child, but he'd protect his wife, never make her do anything she didn't want to do. He appreciated the things Beth had said to her, maybe that would help her to know she was a beauty in so many ways.

With her words Beth had earned her own little spot in Daryl Dixon's heart.

Daryl also knew his brother better than anyone else knew Merle Dixon, and he hoped to God that Merle's intentions were as good as they looked to be. He'd hate to see his brother fuck up the relationship he had going with this good woman. But dammit, fucking up was what Merle did.

* * *

Sunday evening his undercover assignment was complete, paperwork and all. He came by her place. It had been five days since they'd seen each other. They'd missed it, all of it. The talking and the closeness and the sexual intimacy. The hunger was deep, they needed to satisfy it, and they did.

Still Merle Dixon did not stay the night.

 **A/N Merle is still fighting that loving feeling, still determined not to make any real big, real meaningful commitments. I think he's in deeper that he realizes. Thanks so much for reading, and please let me hear you comments / reviews xo**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Thanks so much - I love reading your comments, and I appreciate the follows and faves. Now after last week's chapter I know a lot of you, most of you, are more than a little perturbed at Mister Merle Dixon. We'll see how you feel about him this week.  
**

One Month Later

As far as Merle Dixon was concerned everything between him and Beth Greene was going along just fine.

They were seeing each other outside of work at least four times a week. Having a lot of fun and making a lot of love. She was about as close to perfect for him as a woman could be.

She wasn't always pressuring him for something more. She hadn't brought up living together or anything like that, but then Beth Greene probably wasn't a woman who'd even consider just living with a man. That just wasn't her. For all her friskiness when they were making love, she was still a shy and old-fashioned kind of gal. He'd found he liked that, liked it quite a lot.

She didn't even ask him much about his past. She'd probably heard all the stories that circled around the department, and most were mostly true.

There was just that one thing that she'd asked him about a few times, and her asking about it was coming more frequently now. She wanted him to stay the night with her, hold her, wake up and have coffee with her. He was running out of excuses why he couldn't.

She couldn't understand why it was such a big deal for him. And really? He didn't quite understand it himself. He just knew it would mean he was giving something of himself up.

Merle Dixon wasn't a man to admit there might be something he was a little afraid of, or a lot afraid of, like losing himself completely to this woman. He was fighting it hard. He knew if he gave into it completely she'd control everything about him, she'd own him. He wouldn't be himself anymore. He'd need her just so he could breath.

It all came to a thunderous head that Saturday night. He'd picked her up early and they'd had a bite to eat and gone to a movie. Movies weren't really his deal but there was a new blockbuster detective movie playing they were both interested in seeing.

Afterwards they'd stopped for a drink and he was sure everything was fine, perfect just like always. When they got to her place he went to pour himself a Jameson from his stash, when out of the blue she asked, "Are you planning to make love to me and then go right home?"

He stood nearly frozen. On the spot and in a jam. "Well ya just get right down ta business don't ya now Cupcake?"

She shrugged, her head was tilted to the side and she looked like she wasn't going to budge off her question.

"I ain't gonna lie ta ya 'bout this Beth. So yeah, hell yeah, I wanna make love to ya. After we do I wanna go home. That's what I'm comfortable with. It's my thing."

She nodded her head in understanding, lips pursed. "I see. It's your thing, your comfort zone. The problem is it's not my thing and it's not my comfort zone. I would like to think that we're close enough, and you have deep enough feelings for me that you'd want to make me happy sometimes too, make me comfortable."

And Merle Dixon, the man who felt like he could handle any situation that might arise, didn't handle this situation well at all. He reacted from that place, that place of fear and he lashed out and the hurt he imparted would leave a terrible wound on both their hearts. He yelled the words at her, "Fuck this shit girl, I ain't dealin' with ya or yer goddamn drama. We had a good thing goin' for a while, just like it was, but now ya wanna control me. Well I ain't yer pet, yer goddamn dog. I don't need ya an I don't need yer bullshit. If I wanna piece a ass I know where I can get one with no fuckin' strings attached. THAT'S my comfort zone." And he stormed out of her apartment.

She was stunned and she was so hurt. They'd been together six months and he'd never raised his voice to her, he'd never cussed at her or said cruel things to her. He'd always been kind and polite and had treated her with respect. And this was beyond just meanness, this was meant to cut deep. And it did.

She didn't understand it at all. She'd only wanted to talk about things, to try to come up with a compromise. But he'd made it pretty clear, it was his way or no way at all.

She lay down on the sofa feeling like she couldn't move. Certain her legs wouldn't hold her. Her stomach felt queasy, her head was pounding and she swore her heart hurt. She tried hard not to cry, but when she gave into it she actually found it brought some relief, at least it eased the physical tension.

He jumped in his truck still packing around a 'fuck you' attitude, telling himself he didn't need this kind of bullshit in his life. He reminded himself this was the very reason he steered clear of relationships. The drama. No matter how much a man gave a woman she'd always want more. And fuck, who needs her? What he'd said wasn't a lie. He knew right where he could get a nice, tight, easy piece of ass who wouldn't expect or even want him to spend the night. And he was on his way to look her up now, over at the Cinnamon Shack.

The first thing he did was head right up to the bar and ask the barman for a double Jameson neat. As he handed the guy his money he felt a feminine hand make a quick little grab at his ass cheek. He smiled as he turned around to see Betty, "Hey Doll, can I get ya a little sumthin' ta drink?"

He and Betty ended up having more than one, she was on his lap and yeah, he'd done a little ass grabbing of his own. He didn't need Beth Greene and her attitude.

"Can I give ya a ride home Doll, maybe come in for a little fun with ya."

"I've been waiting for you to ask me that for a long time now Merle, I was starting to think you'd forgotten just how much fun I can be."

He smiled that smile that seemed to take up his whole face and he said, "Never."

They got to her place and she didn't waste any time she went right for his belt buckle, and Merle Dixon let her. But when she reached a hand down his pants and made a grab for his dick, he backed away. "Sorry Doll I think I made a mistake. Gonna have ta call it a night, maybe another time."

She wasn't real thrilled with him. "Is this about that pretty little blond I've seen you with?"

Merle was a taken aback by her question, "Nah, shit no, we ain't even together anymore." And when those words left his mouth the reality of what he'd just said went through his heart like a hot poker.

He got home and poured himself a stiff one right away. He opened the freezer got out the bag of dope and rolled a fat one. He set both down on the end table there by his chair, then he threw a punch and knocked a hole right through the drywall.

He rubbed a hand along the back of his neck and head, he cussed and he plopped himself down in the chair. He had his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. How could he have fucked this up so bad? Shit what he wouldn't give to be laying in those flowered sheets with her right now, all cuddled in for the night.

But fuck, he didn't expect she'd ever want to see him or hear from him again after the things he said to her. Why had he done it? Hell he loved her, why the fuck couldn't he just make himself give in to that? Why had he ruined the best fucking thing that had ever happened to him?

His hand was throbbing but he barely noticed as he picked that glass up and took a swallow. And Merle Dixon sat in his favorite chair sipping on that good Irish Whiskey, rubbing that hand over the top of his head, and he dug down deep and he said hello to his fear.

Yeah sure, he'd admitted it to himself in little bits over the past few months, but he'd never really let it have a place in his mind, never given it his full attention, never decided to face it head on. And shit now that he had it was too late. She wouldn't want him anymore and he didn't blame her. He was a worthless lowlife asshole and he knew it.

So Merle Dixon did what he knew how to do. He drank a lot of whiskey and he smoked a lot of dope and he managed to take himself to a place where he could finally fall asleep.

* * *

Over in that little apartment she was sure she'd cried every tear she had. She'd written in her journal about the times she'd had with him, the six months of what she thought was love and fun and building a relationship. But then tonight happened and she'd seen a side of Merle Dixon she'd heard about once or twice, but she'd never seen it for herself and hadn't really believed it could exist. Now she knew it could and it did. Merle Dixon had broken her heart and even on the slim chance he'd ever try and make up with her, want to try again, she didn't know if she could or would.

She'd finally fallen asleep and when morning came she told herself the best thing to do was stay in her routine, not just sit around and dwell on what had happened.

She made her coffee and a soft boiled egg, tidied up the apartment and got her things organized for the upcoming week. Finally she took a shower and washed her hair, put her make up on and got dressed for church. She'd be better off there than here alone.

She prayed hard for whatever was best. She was so torn. Her heart wanted Merle, she loved him and she'd thought he loved her, she'd planned to have a life with him. Her head told her he was trouble, that he'd likely always be trouble. It was obvious now the man could go hard. What would the result be the next time she questioned him about something, sought a compromise, or they had a misunderstanding? Her mind told her she shouldn't hang around to find out.

After church she went for a long walk and after that she bought her groceries for the week. Then she thought she'd write some sad songs about brokenhearted lovers. Maybe it would be therapeutic.

* * *

He'd woken at 3am feeling like shit. Sweaty, agitated and hating himself. Fuck it, he'd get something done.

At 3:30 in the morning Merle was out in his garage gathering everything he needed to patch the drywall, and that's what he did. That and he drank coffee fortified with whiskey and smoked dope.

He sat in his chair and listened to some old Hank Williams and thought more about her and tried to figure out if and how he could ever make this right.

Daryl called early. Becky was missing Beth and wanted them to come over for Sunday dinner. Merle was drunk enough and loaded enough he told Daryl what had happened, what he'd said to Beth, what he'd done after, and what he was doing now.

The man of few words said to him, "Fuck Merle I's hopin' ya finally got ta a place in yer life where ya was ready ta have sumthin' good. That's Beth, a good woman, a real nice woman, she don't deserve ta be treated like that. An damn brother for ya ta say them things ta her. Shit. I don't got any advice for ya 'cept clean yer self up, straighten yer ass out an try real hard ta make this right."

When Daryl explained to Becky why Merle and Beth wouldn't be joining them for Sunday dinner, he saw his wife's eyes fill with tears. He put his arms around her trying to somehow comfort her, "I'm sorry Becky, I know ya love her like a sister n all. I guess we shoulda expected this with Merle."

"I shoulda known better than ta ever get close with her, but I couldn't help it she was nice and we was friends an I loved her." And it hurt Daryl to see his wife's sadness and to know there was nothing he could do to ease that for her.

Meantime Merle knew his brother was was right, he had to clean up is act. He eased up on the whiskey and the smoke, he had to get up the next morning, had to get his ass to work. The payoff would be not in the paycheck but in getting a chance to see her, maybe talk to her. Anything of her would be better than nothing of her.

* * *

She hadn't slept well at all, finally she gave up, got up and made some extra strong coffee. She was showered, dressed, drinking coffee and eating oatmeal and it was only 6:15 in the morning.

Her phone beeped and her heart skipped thinking it was Merle, but it was a text from the Sheriff. "Sorry Beth but they need you on a court case this morning, please come in ASAP to get briefed."

She was at the office by 6:45am.

The sheriff was surprised when he saw her but he tried hard not to let that surprise show on his face. She looked sleep deprived, drawn, and there was a definite air of sadness around her. Shit, had Merle fucked up?

Rick gave her the details of her assignment. She was both relieved she wouldn't be in the office, wouldn't run into Merle, and sad that she wouldn't be in the office and wouldn't run into Merle.

* * *

He got to work only to discover she was nowhere around. Merle Dixon knew how to keep an ear to the ground without anyone being any the wiser and he learned she was on an assignment with the court, might be there as long as three weeks, something about a big fraud case.

Merle Dixon was not a happy man.

After that first day at work with no Beth Greene he'd started to make attempts. He'd waited outside the courthouse at lunchtime two days in a row, he hid behind one of those pillars just hoping to get a glimpse of her, maybe a chance to talk. But she must have been having her lunch somewhere inside the courthouse because she never came out for the noon hour.

He'd be standing outside the courthouse at quitting time hiding behind that same pillar, but some Bailiff would be escorting her to her car.

He sent her a text Wednesday, she never did answer. He tried again Friday and the result was the same, nothing. The following Monday he sent her flowers. Nothing.

* * *

She'd never fought such a battle with her self-control. She'd gotten those texts and as much as she wanted to reply, wanted to talk to him and wanted to see him, she just couldn't do it. Now Beth Greene was the one with fear.

When the flowers came it made her cry, but still she wasn't going to contact him. She kept thinking if she could just last long enough then soon she'd be over him. That plan wasn't working yet, but she was sure hoping it would.

Wednesday she had a little note in the mail from Becky, it just said, "I sure am missing you Beth. Whatever Merle done I'm sorry. You was my friend and I love you."

She cried over that little note for an hour. She missed Becky too and she felt sad because she knew how isolated the woman was. She thought maybe after time had passed and Merle had moved onto someone new, she could go out and visit with Becky. She hoped somehow they could keep being friends.

* * *

They hadn't seen each other now in three weeks and she was relieved about that. It would just make this all so much harder if she did see him. It wasn't like she could just up and quit her job, there weren't many good employment opportunities for sketch artists, she had to stay.

She'd heard through the grapevine, namely Sasha, that he was being a real bear at work, no one wanted to be around him. He was angry, louder than usual, and he seemed to be going out of his way to make everyone just as miserable as he was.

* * *

He hadn't seen her in three weeks and she was so close, just over there in the court building.

He was one miserable son of a bitch and he knew it. He'd gone to a dark place, a desperate and lonely place. And that somehow just plain fucking pissed him off. He loved her dammit and he needed her.

He didn't give a shit about the law and he didn't give a shit about his job, fuck it, he was looking for a job when he'd found this one. And he'd look for a job again when they let him outta jail, but he was going to have it out with her, settle this once and for all.

So that Friday afternoon he told the duty officer he had a dental appointment and had to leave an hour early. He drove over close to her place and he parked his truck in the alley, behind the supermarket, and he walked the rest of the way.

It took less than 30 seconds for him to break into her apartment. He shut the door behind him and locked it like it had been. He sat on the couch and waited for her.

Yeah he knew it was breaking and entering and stalking. He didn't fucking care. He was going to say his piece and then she could tell him to go piss up a rope. Whatever.

* * *

Sasha had tried to get her to go to happy hour after work but she'd begged off, saying she thought she was getting the stomach flu. No one wants to hang out with someone who has stomach flu so it was always a good excuse.

She headed home and all she could think about was a bowl of soup and crawling in her bed. Since she and Merle had last seen each other she'd barely slept, and these work days had been long. It was all catching up to her and she was exhausted.

She unlocked her door, walked in and let out a small scream. She caught her breath, "What are you doing here Merle? How did you get in? You can't just come in my apartment. I could have you arrested."

"Well ya go on ahead n have me arrested Beth I just don't give a fuck anymore. Maybe I need a little jail time ta get myself back ta not givin' a fuck about anythin'."

"I know I fucked up Beth, shit I don't remember there ever bein' a time in my life I didn't manage ta just mess shit up. But I never had nuthin' in my life like you, sumthin' that meant so much ta me, someone I loved, and I pissed it all away. It wasn't that I didn't wanna spend the night with ya, I wanted it so bad it scared me. I's afraid Beth, afraid a how much ya mean ta me."

"I said those terrible things to ya an I was fool enough to think I meant 'em, that I could walk away, be with someone else, want someone besides you, but I can't Beth, yer it for me. Please find it in yer heart ta give me a chance ta prove to ya I can be better than that, I love ya Beth. I ain't ever gonna speak ta ya like that or raise my voice ta ya ever again."

Silent tears were falling and her heart was broken, more than anything she wanted to go to him, she wanted him to wrap her in his arms, make love to her, she wanted that closeness with him so much, but she was afraid she'd just be setting herself up for more heartbreak.

She couldn't make herself tell him no. She wanted to believe him, she loved him and she wanted this to work. She thought that at least she might give it one more try. "I'm going to think about it Merle. That's all I can promise right this minute. I'm tired, hungry, and overwhelmed."

"That's more than I hoped for Beth. Lemme go get ya one a them salads ya like so much an we'll have a bite. Then you can rest."

She nodded, "Thank you Merle."

While he was gone she decided to have a bubble bath, something to calm her. She filled the tub with hot water and extra bubbles and she slid in and she closed her eyes and she thought about Merle Dixon. There was a small brutally logical part of her that was fearful of him. But the rest of her loved him and wanted him.

He got back with her salad and his sandwich and he felt happy just to be there with her, he'd missed this, just being in the same room with her.

She felt like every bit of energy and strength had been drained from her. She took a few bites, put her fork down and said, "I'm just so exhausted Merle, I can't do this tonight, I can't even think straight. Maybe we can talk tomorrow."

And he looked in her eyes and asked, "Can I lay with ya Beth? No sex, I just wanna be with ya, hold ya, wake up here in the mornin' an have coffee with ya. Lemme prove to ya and ta myself I can do this. Please."

And she looked at him just as intensely and she knew she was probably crazy but she said, "Yes."

 **A/N I say it often because it's always true, Merle is Merle. That was rough. I appreciate you reading along and please leave a comment letting me know your thoughts. Thanks so much xo**

 **To see the chapter photo please visit my tumblr bethylmethbrick Thanks!  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N Thanks so much everyone, I really appreciate you reading this story and I LOVE reading your comments and reviews. We're picking up right where we left off.**

She looked so exhausted, worn out, he was concerned about her. She'd always seemed a little delicate to him anyway, but he knew that didn't mean she was a pushover. And if her last three weeks had been even a little bit like his last three weeks, he knew she hadn't been sleeping much.

It seemed like it took every last bit of strength she had just to crawl in the bed. He flipped the light off and slipped in between those sheets. She hadn't said a word to him since she'd said "Yes," and he didn't have a read on just what she was thinking. Her back was to him, he took a deep breath and he took a chance and put his arm lightly around her waist, "Whatever I gotta do, if it takes me the rest a my life I'ma make this up to ya. Please lemme try." He'd never begged a woman or anyone else, for anything, but he'd crawl on his hands and knees if that's what she wanted.

Her voice was soft and drained of energy, "Goodnight Merle." And he focused on the takeaway, she hadn't made him leave, and she hadn't pushed his arm away. He'd take whatever she'd give him.

Almost immediately she was making those soft sleep sounds. He didn't expect he'd sleep he'd just hold her, listen to her breath. But the sound of her and the feel of her lulled him and he was out.

They were both early risers so when he woke and saw the time on the bedside clock read 9:00 he was surprised. She was still sleeping peacefully and he was sure neither of them had moved all night.

He was thinking of all the times he could have stayed here like this with her, how he'd resisted it, fought it. And when he finally gave in it had been the best night sleep he'd ever had.

Merle Dixon was afraid. He aimed to come clean with her today and he was sure when he did, when she knew the truth about him, the hard case he was, she'd never let him stay with her again. She'd never want to set eyes on him again. But the only way there was a chance of anything maybe working out with her is if he finally got honest. He couldn't keep hiding who he was, and she deserved to know, to hear it from him. She'd been so good to him so patient, and he'd hurt her.

When she started to stir his instinct was to pull her in closer to him, and without even thinking that's what he did. It seemed to startle her a little at first, but then she relaxed into him. He couldn't remember anything ever feeling better than that. "Merle." She whispered it and it seemed that she just now remembered he was there.

"Good mornin' Beth." He took his chances again, he put his face in her hair, breathed in deeply, she always smelled so sweet, and he kissed the back of her head. "I'll make some coffee."

He waited until it finished brewing, fixed them each a cup and took the coffee back to her bedroom. She was sitting there in bed, that bed that was covered in flowered sheets, a flowered quilt and flowered pillows. He'd thought he hated all those flowers. But she was propped up with those flowered pillows behind her. Her crazy curly hair was all over the damn place and her eyes were still a little puffy with sleep. He'd never seen anything or anyone more beautiful.

He handed her the cup, "Ya sleep good?" He sat on the edge of the bed, close to her and just looking in those blue eyes, for what he wasn't sure. A sign of something good from her he supposed.

"Yes I finally got a good night's sleep."

He took one more chance and moved his hand over her hand. He felt a weight off his shoulders when she didn't pull away from his touch. "What I'd like ta do Beth is get home an clean-up, then pick us up sumthin' ta eat. If you'll let me, I'd like to come back here an tell ya who I am. Aside from tellin' ya that I ain't too proud ta beg ya for forgiveness, an I'm sure I'll do a lotta that. But it's yer call."

She looked down at his hand on hers, nodded slightly, "Alright Merle."

* * *

 **Beth POV**

She couldn't believe it when she'd walked in her apartment and he was there. For just a second she thought she had to be imagining it.

Her heart had been torn. She knew she should probably send him away, but she just couldn't make herself do that.

She didn't want to want him but she did. She loved him and she knew that. If there was even the slightest chance he could explain himself, somehow convince her that this was a fluke, that she wouldn't ever have to worry about him talking to her like that again, hurting her so badly again. If that could just happen she knew she'd weaken.

She'd been exhausted since he left her that night, emotionally, mentally and physically, she was afraid to say too much, afraid she wasn't thinking clearly. Besides, she felt it was best to just let him do the talking.

She knew she should have told him no when he wanted to spend the night, but the truth was she wanted him there. And when he got in bed with her, put his arm around her, she knew she should have told him not to touch her but the closeness felt so good. She'd missed his touch.

Now she wondered if he'd even come back and if he did, would he really tell her about himself, could he really be open and honest with her?

She'd been waiting for what seemed a long time for Merle Dixon to tell her more about himself, but when she asked him questions it always seemed something would interrupt, or something else would come up and she got very few answers to her questions.

He'd say, "Yeah I'ma tell ya all 'bout that real soon Cupcake."

She did feel she shouldered some of the blame for not having gotten answers sooner. She could have pressed a little more, insisted a little more, but something in her was afraid to know. She was afraid he'd admit to things about himself she'd find she couldn't live with. And she didn't want to live without him.

xxxx

She got up and took her shower, put on her sweats and just tried to keep herself busy.

An hour and a half after he left there was a knock on the door.

He was standing there with a bag in his hand, he'd brought breakfast sandwiches from the deli. He looked nervous but he smiled. Not his big ear to ear grin, a small almost shy grin. Something about that tugged at her heart, she never would have thought Merle Dixon could look vulnerable.

They ate at the small kitchen table and mostly in silence. He cleaned up when they were done and asked her, "Should we sit in the other room? It might be more comfortable, this is gonna take a while."

"Okay."

When they were seated he began, "Well ya ain't had a lot ta say Beth but I get it, it's me that's gotta do this, not you. First thing I'ma talk to ya about is my family. I know ya been wantin' ta know an it ain't that there's anythin' I gotta hide about that, it's just that I never much cared for talkin' about it."

"My old man was a drunk, a drug abuser and a wife and child beater. He pretty much took turns beatin' on my Mama or me. Once Daryl was born he was hurtin' him too. I tried ta keep him away from the kid, but I wasn't much of a match for a big drunk on crank."

"The man didn't work much an when he did it was mostly ta trade work for drugs or booze."

"Mama got welfare an food stamps but there was never enough ta go around. She got drunk an fell asleep smokin' a cigarette one day, burned down our shack and herself right along with it. Daryl was just a little fella and it was him that found her."

"I's a teenager when I started followin' in the old man's footsteps, using any kind a street drug I could get my hands on and gettin' in fights on damn near a daily basis. But I smartened up enough when I's about 18 ta realize there was money ta be made selling dope. I started using the old man's moonshine shack ta cook crank and I found I could sell it for plenty. I had quite a little distribution network goin'."

"By the time I was 21 I's makin' bank. That's when I bought my place. I never did cook or sell dope outta there, it's my home. I kept cookin' at the moonshine shack an except for the big, high end deals, I let my crew distribute the goods."

"Daryl come over ta my house one day, he'd just started high school, the old man had beat him ta shit. I had him move in right then. The old man died not long after, he was murdered and they never did find who done it. It's been just me an Daryl, then me an Daryl n Becky since."

"I tried ta keep my life of crime a secret from him but Daryl ain't stupid, he knew what I's up to. I was proud of little brother cuz he never had one bit a interest in usin', cookin' or sellin'. He stayed in school an he got honest work."

"Rick popped me not too long after Becky an Daryl got married. He give me an option. Now this here Beth that I'ma tell ya, it can't go no further. The sheriff would be run outta town. He offered me a choice, he'd arrest me, I'd go to court, and no doubt do some serious time. Or he'd fast track me through the law enforcement officer's academy and I'd come ta work for him. There was a serious drug problem in the county and he couldn't get a handle on it, he couldn't make an arrest much less shut anythin' down. An ya know how many other criminal problems dope creates.

Anyway, he wanted someone who knew the streets, who wasn't afraid of the dirt bags, someone who didn't worry about gettin' rough with a guy, an someone who'd make the busts."

"I didn't wanna go ta the pen. I had plenty a money an I's gettin' sick a the business anyway, and I knew it was just a matter of time before I got popped again. So I went legit and took that Deputy job."

"That's why I make the busts I do Beth, I know the business. I know there's a lotta rumors about what I use ta do but no one can prove anythin'. An I swear to ya I ain't used drugs in years, when I started sellin' 'em I quit usin' 'em." He reached in his pocket then and pulled out a plastic bag, he set it on the coffee table in front of her. "I smoke plenty a this though. I coulda quit it but I never did, never had any real good reason to."

He paused then and they both took a deep breath while they digested what he'd said. He was rubbing his hand on the back of his neck and head, and she knew it had been hard on him to tell her his story.

Parts of it hurt and angered her, knowing the terrible circumstances he and Daryl had grown up in, and the horrible way their mother had died.

Some of it was very disturbing, the fact he'd used drugs, made drugs, sold drugs. He'd been a drug dealer. She'd heard rumors but she'd chalked them up to that, just rumors. Now she knew and she was going to have to think about it. And the pot bothered her some, she knew it was a common and popular drug of choice and was supposedly no big deal. It was even legal in some places. Still she found his admission unsettling. She tried to focus on what was the good news in all this drug business, she guessed it was that he'd been honest, he hadn't kept it a secret. That meant a lot.

And she understood why he might want to keep these things from her.

He rose then, "I'ma get a glass a tea, can I get ya sumthin'?"

"Yes I'd have tea please."

He brought the glasses back and handed her one, they shared a long look in each others eyes. There was nothing romantic in the stare, it was like each was trying to gauge what the other was thinking, feeling.

He took a deep breath, exhaled loudly and said, "Now I gotta tell ya what ta me is the harder part. The part about me that's probably gonna disappoint ya even more. I don't wanna tell ya for a lotta reasons. One of 'em is cuz I don't wanna hurt ya. And I'm just plain scared it'll be a deal breaker, you'll never wanna see me again. An mostly I don't wanna see that look a disappointment and anger I know is gonna come from ya. But I said I'd be honest an I will."

Now she took a deep breath, she was fearful, anxious about what he might tell her. She was already sure that whatever it was it was going to be something she didn't want to know. Her stomach was starting to knot up. She nodded slightly for him to go on.

"I ain't close with people, don't have pals an all that, don't want it, it ain't my way. I got Daryl, Becky an now you. Yer my people I love. Only friend I ever really had is Rick an it ain't like we're hangin' out or sharin' our secrets, we just get each other an we get along most of the time."

"I know ya heard every kind a terrible story that can be told 'bout me an women. I'm sorry ta tell ya that whatever ya heard is probably mostly true, but there's a lot more ya probably ain't heard about."

"I'm a whore Beth plain an simple. I ain't never dated a woman, ain't ever called one an made arrangements ta meet up with her, nuthin' like that. I go ta bars an I meet women an I buy 'em a few drinks. I take 'em back ta their place, do the deed, an I'm on my way. I never have cared ta get close ta one, it always seemed like a complication I didn't need in my life."

"Only thing I can say for myself is I never promised a woman nuthin', never said I'd call or we'd start seein' each other, they knew from the get go what it was all 'bout."

"First time I seen ya I knew I was a had man, it scared me from the start. I knew I wanted ya, wanted ya bad. I tried ta tell myself I'd just sweet talk ya, take ya out a few times, bed ya an forget about ya. But I fell for ya hard, I think I's in love with ya right from the start. But I's fightin' it with everythin' I had, I's tryin' hard ta believe I'd get over it, get over you, that it was temporary."

"I guess that's why I didn't wanna spend the night with ya. It seemed even more intimate than makin' love to ya, like it made it all real, a commitment that I'd always stay. I had ta fight it Beth because I did wanna stay. Wanted ta hold ya. I did wanna wake up with ya in the mornin', but I's afraid a that too. Afraid ta give in completely."

"An when ya asked me that last time, I don't know how ta explain it, all that fear come up in me an I didn't think, I just reacted an I hurt ya. I knew I did, I hurt me too. I couldn't fuckin' believe what I said to ya."

She still hadn't said a word, she just let him talk. It was a double edged sword. On one hand she was grateful for his honesty, on the other it hurt to hear him talk this way. She realized she hadn't really wanted to know about those other women. She didn't want to think about him doing the things with other women that he'd done with her.

"I ain't told ya the worst part, it's breakin' me ta think about tellin' ya. But ya got a right ta know and sometime yer liable ta hear some talk. It's better ya hear it from me. Whether ya throw me out the door now or later, I want ya ta know the whole truth."

He took a deep breath and sighed heavily. She felt the dread wash over her.

"I love ya Beth, I'ma say that now cuz it is the truth. I been such a dumb fuckin' asshole I don't know what I's thinkin', I s'pose I wasn't thinkin' at all. More'n once, after I'd leave ya at night, I'd go on over ta the Cinnamon Shack for a couple drinks. There's always women 'round there lookin' for a good time, a lot of them women I knew. I'd been with 'em."

"There was one in particular, name's Betty. She was always hintin' around she was ready any time I got the notion. I'd buy her a couple drinks, flirt with her some, but I never acted on anythin' Beth. I didn't have no desire for her that way anymore, not since you. You're the only woman I wanted."

"That night I yelled at ya I went right ta that bar from here. Betty was there. I bought her drinks an I let her sit on my lap. I's determined ta bed her, just ta prove ta myself I didn't need ya, that I didn't love ya, that I'd done the right thing ta walk out on ya."

"She let me take her home, it was clear what we was both all about, but I swear to ya Beth, nuthin' happened. I told her I couldn't an I left. I swear to ya that's the last time I's at the bar. An I ain't been intimate with another woman that way since I started datin' you."

She'd been fighting those tears so hard, determined not to let him see her cry. She was devastated, Merle Dixon was the love of her life. On the surface he certainly wasn't the kind of man she'd go for, she knew everyone thought he was just big, ornery and mean, but she knew a different Merle. She knew the gentle man that lived within the rough exterior. The tender and patient lover, the nurturer, the man who reassured her when she doubted herself, the man who thought she hung the moon. And now to learn all of this about him.

And then it hit, she ran to the bathroom. He'd run after her not knowing what was wrong. She was kneeling in front of the toilet crying and throwing up. He'd moved behind her, taken her hair in his hand, his voice had gone softer and he was rubbing her back, it was the Merle she knew, loving, caring, "What is it? Ya okay?"

She pulled herself together and looked at him with those big tear-filled eyes and said, "It's the things you said. I can't believe you'd go see those women, buy them drinks and flirt. You'd just made love to me. And to think you'd go so far as to take another woman home. I know you say you didn't sleep with her but Merle you thought about it, you wanted to."

He got down on his knees next to her, put his arms around her and held her tight. "No Beth, I didn't want to. I didn't desire her. I's tryin' ta prove ta myself I didn't need you. Shit Beth I know I'm a dumb sumbitch. I got so much makin' up ta do I'm just hopin' you'll let me. I know I need ta learn how ta do this thing right. How ta be a good man to ya. That's what I want, I want to be the way I should. I want to be the man to you I should be. I want to prove to ya everyday how much I love ya, how much ya mean ta me an I never wanna hurt ya again."

She let him hold her for a few more minutes because it did feel good, he felt warm and strong and loving and she was so confused. She didn't know what to do, how to react. All of it had her overwhelmed. Finally she pulled away from him, "I need to think Merle."

She stood then, went to the sink and splashed cold water on her face brushed her teeth, then silently walked in her bedroom and shut the door.

He stood there in the bathroom and just watched her door, wondering what he should do next. He didn't want to leave, she'd probably never let him back in, but he wasn't going to bother her either.

He went back in the living room and laid on the couch, his forearm resting on his forehead. He'd hear her sometimes, crying softly or blowing her nose. It was breaking his heart to know he'd broken hers.

About an hour later she finally came out of the bedroom, she wasn't wearing her sweats any longer, she'd changed into jeans, a tank top and sweater. "I need to see Becky."

He got up from the couch, "Alright, let's go."

They pulled up to the cabin and saw Daryl and Becky working in the garden. Becky looked up, saw her and immediately stood. She was smiling and waving and quickly brushed the dirt from her hands. Beth was smiling back at her and hopped from the truck and went to her friend. They hugged each other tightly and the sight made Daryl get that small grin on his face, he was always happy to see his Becky happy.

Merle waited his turn and then gave Becky a quick hug, "Good ta see ya little sister." And then he shook his brother's hand.

Daryl and Becky both felt it, the heaviness in the air and he spoke first, "I'ma take Merle in the shop, need ta show him a few things."

Becky responded, "Okay, I'ma take Beth in the house I wanna show her those new pillows I made."

When the men got to the shop Daryl waited for his brother to speak. Merle told him all of it. "I told her everythin' Brother 'cept I couldn't tell her I killed the old man, hell you were there. Even though ya didn't take part the fact that you was there makes ya an accessory. Then we was both in on killin' those bastards that hurt Becky, and Joe an his asshole buddies. I'd never tell anyone that shit on you, not even her, ever."

Daryl nodded, "Just as well anyway, she don't need ta know that stuff. Becky only knows a little an she don't like knowin' that much. 'Sides that Brother, what ya did tell her seems like more'n any woman would wanna hear. Not the dope, shit it's a thing a the past, but damn Brother, what was ya thinkin' with these women? What the fuck Merle?"

"Shit I don't know the reasons for the things I do. Never did. I'm a damn mystery to me."

"Bullshit, that's a cop out an even you know it ya dumbass. Fuck man, yer s'posed ta be in love with this woman, ya told her ya was, then yer off tryin' ta get yer nut with strangers? What? So you can feel like some kinda big deal? Fuck Brother don't ya know anythin'? When ya got a good woman ya hold ta her, ya show her every day that she's yer woman an ya love her, ya do what ya can ta make her happy. What's so fuckin' hard 'bout that ya couldn't do it with Beth?"

"I don't know man, yer right. I didn't even want them other women. I's so stupid tryin' ta prove ta myself I didn't need her. Lookin' back I know what a fool I was, now I don't know if I can fix it. I'm a dumbass an I'm payin' for it. Don't know that she'll have me back. If she'd just give me a chance I swear I'd work hard every day ta prove she's it for me."

Daryl saw the look on his Brother's face, heard the tone of his voice. He knew his Brother was suffering. Maybe Merle needed this pain, needed this loss to make him see what was really important, what he really cared about.

* * *

She shared with Becky everything that Merle had told her. Becky listened quietly while keeping a hand over Beth's hand, trying to bring her friend comfort.

When Beth had told her all of it the other woman nodded and then began to speak. "I've known Merle Dixon since I's 16 years old. Until ya came along Merle never let no one close ta him 'cept me an Daryl. I's so happy when ya come into his life. I was happy for him that he found a good woman an I could tell right away he loved ya. An I's happy for me too cuz I loved ya, yer my friend."

"When Daryl told me Merle messed up an ya didn't want him no more my heart hurt, for you an for him, for me an for Daryl. We're family."

She moved the palm of her hand to the side of Beth's face, gently caressing her cheek. "I ain't much of a woman a the world Beth, ya know that. Only relations I know anythin' about is mine an Daryl's, Mama n Daddy, my brother n his wife. Ain't none of us been through this manner a trouble.

All I can think ta say is, now ya know what ya wanted ta know 'bout Merle, he come clean to ya. Ya gotta decide for yerself if ya love him enough ta give the man a chance an let him try n make this right. Is it worth tryin' again if it might turn out real good?"

"An s'posin' ya do try an it don't work out good, yer miserable an ya gotta leave. Well I guess you'd always know ya tried yer best an it didn't work out. Ya could move on without doubt, without wonderin' if maybe ya shoulda tried. The choice is yers, yer gonna be my friend no matter what ya decide."

 **A/N There it is. Just so there's no confusion, Beth didn't throw up because she's pregnant, she threw up because she was emotional. I really appreciate you reading this story and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. Please comment / review xo**

 **To see the chapter photo please visit my tumblr at bethylmethbrick _See you next Tuesday!_**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Thank you all. I appreciate your follows, faves and comments so much. It seems we mostly forgive Merle, but he has a lot to prove to Beth. Let's see if he can.**

"Ya just tell me an I'll do it, whatever ya say Beth. I wanna do this your way an I'm willin' ta do anythin' I gotta do ta keep ya in my life."

"That's not what I want Merle. Of course there are things I'd like to change, but I don't want to change the man you are. I fell in love with that man. And I don't want you trying to change just to please me, that will turn into you resenting me and that will never work. Honestly I'm just confused, a little overwhelmed and I don't want to make a false start."

"It's not a question of whether I love you, I do love you Merle. But I don't trust you and somehow you're going to have to make me feel like I can. It's hard for me now to think I trusted you completely, and then that trust was broken. I'm not sure how we're going to rebuild that."

"I don't know either Baby, I fucked up real bad an I know that. It's killin' me ta think about the things I done. I'ma start by swearin' to ya right now, I ain't ever goin' in the Cinnamon Shack again. When I make up my mind Beth, it stays made up."

They'd just gotten home from Daryl and Becky's place and they were sitting on her couch. He was drinking a Jameson and he'd poured her a hard cider. She took a sip.

"You have no idea how badly I want to believe that, and I guess all I can do is have faith and hope you'll stick to that promise. I'm hurt Merle, the thought of you cozying up to another woman, even though you say you didn't sleep with her, and for some reason I believe you, it's just the idea of it. The idea that you thought of doing that, the idea you took her home, the idea you were that close with her."

And he saw the tears in her eyes and he reacted to that. He set his glass down and put his arms around her and held her. He pulled back to look in her eyes, "I don't think anyone is more disappointed in me than me. You gotta know I love ya. I don't wanna be crude but shit Beth, the truth is I couldn't even think about gettin' it up for her. You were all that was on my mind. I'd never put myself in a situation like that again. And I'd never hurt ya like that again."

"I got home that night an I's so mad at myself I punched a hole right in the wall, then I spent the rest a the evenin' gettin' drunk an high an hatin' myself for the things I said an the things I done."

She just nodded, not sure what to say to all that. They sipped on their drinks, minds working and hearts broken.

"I'll give up the pot too Beth if that'll make ya happy. I'll put it down and never pick it up again." He looked in her eyes and again she believed what he said.

"No Merle, I don't want you to give it up because of me. I don't like the idea of it, it makes me somehow feel nervous, uneasy that you smoke it. But I told you I'm not trying to change the man you are, to take your life away from you. Compared to the other challenges we're facing that one seems quite small."

He nodded once, "Yeah well maybe the man I am, that man I need to be, has changed from the man I was. Maybe I need to step away from that other man. I don't think it'll bother me not ta have my Sunday afternoon high, not if I have you. You're far more important ta me than that. An if it makes ya uneasy then I shouldn't be doin' it."

He reached for her hand and they sat in silence for a while, hands clasped eyes mostly closed, sipping on their drinks and thinking about if and how this could work.

Finally she spoke, "I'm willing to try it again Merle. What Becky said was true, I can't just give up I have to make the effort and see if we can work this out. And I hope we can. I hope we can get to a place where we're both happy. Maybe I need to try and look at this as a new beginning."

He was overcome now, she was going to give him a chance and that was all he'd needed, that chance to prove to her he could be the man she wanted in her life. Again he put his arms around her, "Thank you for givin' me that Beth, I'm gonna do everythin' in my power ta show ya it's okay ta trust me. I never wanna hurt or disappoint ya again. I'll go at whatever pace ya want."

They both had tears, tears that were a mix of happiness, relief and hope. "Can I stay with ya tonight? I won't do nuthin' 'cept hold on ta ya, I promise."

"Yes, I'd like that Merle."

He went home that next afternoon, Sunday, and he dumped the pot and he cleaned up his house, did his laundry for the week. He ran out to the grocery and got what he needed to get by.

When he was done with his responsibilities he sat in his chair, cracked a beer and put on some blues, and that's when he missed the dope. But he was determined and he knew he'd get used to living without it eventually. Especially if he could have her there sitting on his lap, he wouldn't be missing anything.

* * *

He saw her at work Monday morning, and he asked her if he could take her out for a little dinner at the Bistro Tuesday night after work. "No Merle we're not going to the Bistro for dinner anymore. I have to give in and change too, and I've sensed for a long time you hate that place. I know you go because you know I like it. Let's go somewhere you like to eat, maybe I'll like it."

He smiled broadly at her, "Cupcake ya been playin' me all this time? Takin' advantage a my sweet an generous nature? What else do ya know 'bout me ya ain't lettin' on?"

"Well I can't think of anything off the top of my head but I'm sure I'll come up with something, and when I do I'll tell you about it." She gave him her own bright smile.

She hadn't missed the fact that he'd called her Cupcake. He hadn't called her that since that night when everything came apart. She was never quite sure how she felt about the endearment, but now that she'd been so long without it, she decided she liked it, that she'd missed it.

"Alright I got a little joint I like we'll go there n see if ya can tolerate it." He glanced around, no one was looking, and he leaned in and kissed her cheek.

No one may have seen them, seen the kiss, but no one missed the change in Merle Dixon's attitude. He was tolerable again, and that was more than most of them had ever hoped for.

Tuesday morning she got a call from Daryl. That was unusual. "Yeah, um hey Beth. Becky wants ya ta come Sunday an take dinner with us. She says bring Merle if y'all are made up, but if ya ain't it's you she wants ta see anyway."

She smiled, Daryl and Becky were the most interesting couple she'd ever met, and their plain way of doing and saying everything continued to intrigue her. "That sounds wonderful Daryl, please tell Becky I'll be there and I'm looking forward to it, and yes, I'll bring Merle."

"K, bye." And she almost laughed at that. She wondered what he was like when he dealt with customers. Although now that she'd seen his work and she knew how talented he was, she supposed his customers couldn't care less about his social skills.

* * *

After work he took her to a place called Fred's Diner. He smiled over at her as he parked his pickup. "It's a lot different than the Bistro, not high class or anythin' but I like it. If ya hate it, we'll find someplace else next time."

It was definitely old fashioned, there was even one of those little jukebox things at each table. He took her to what he told her was his favorite booth, over in a far corner. "I like ta be able ta see who's comin' in and outta the joint, old habit."

There was a long L-shaped counter with round vinyl covered stools and a milk shake machine that must be from 1950.

The waitress came to their table with the water. Beth was sure the woman was way passed the age she should be home collecting social security, she must be working here to supplement it. She was as much of a throwback to another era as the furnishings. She had on a pink uniform dress with a white collar and she wore a short white apron. She had reddish color hair in a bouffant style, and what was really a treat was she had a little white hat on. Beth had seen photos of waitresses from the 40's and 50's dressed in a similar style.

"Hey Merle, how the hell ya been kid? I ain't seen ya in so long I's startin' ta think you was dead."

Beth couldn't believe it but Merle just laughed, "Well I ain't dead yet gorgeous but I'm gettin' closer every day."

"And who's this poor girl ya got with ya, did ya kidnap her or sumthin'? She's way too pretty an sweet lookin' for a no good scoundrel like you."

"Well don't tell her that for hell sake she ain't figured that out yet. Agnes Perkins, this is my lady friend Beth Greene."

Beth was just about to say hello when the woman said, "Ya go on an run now girl, if he starts ta follow after ya I'll trip him."

Beth didn't know what to say but Merle was laughing so she smiled and said, "It's very nice to meet you Agnes, I'll let you know if I need any help at all."

"Alright, ya want sumthin' ta drink while yer decidin'?"

"Yes please I'd have a lemonade."

Agnes looked to Merle and said, "Damn boy ya did get ya a sweet one, didn't ya?"

"Yes ma'am I did."

As soon as the woman was out of earshot Beth asked, "Oh my gosh Merle who _is_ that? I can't believe the way she talked to you and I really can't believe you laughed about it."

He smiled then but it was a melancholy sort of grin. "She's been workin' here as long as I can remember. When I's a kid it seems she knew I didn't get enough ta eat at home, she was always sneakin' me a bowl a chili or stew or soup. When Daryl come along she done him the same. One day when I's a little older I seen she was paying for that food we ate. All those years I thought she was stealin' it for me an I was okay with that. I felt bad ta know all that time she'd spendin' her own money ta feed me an Daryl. Once I started makin' a little cash of my own I'd come in, eat and leave a big ol' tip." He smiled, " I been a real big tipper around here for years, but I'll never be able ta pay back the kindness of it."

"When I got on the drugs, I come here one day and she run me off, told me I couldn't come back here an see her no more 'til I got off the junk. Then she slapped me as hard as she could right upside the head. She's a sweet old gal but she does pack a wallop."

Beth loved the story for the sweetness but it made her heart ache to think Merle and Daryl were so deprived that this woman, a stranger really, felt she needed to feed them. And she also thought what a shame it was more people weren't like Agnes.

But what struck her the most was that Merle had just shared with her a deeply personal part of his past. He'd always been so reticent about his life. And he'd shared feelings. Things really had changed.

Agnes came back with their drinks and Beth apologized, "I'm sorry I haven't even had a chance to look at the menu."

"No problem sweetheart, I know how this big blowhard can talk a gals ear right off, he's been driving me crazy for years."

She walked away again, Beth smiled and studied her menu. It was full of choices a person didn't see much on menus nowadays, stews, hamburger steak, chicken and dumplings, ham and beans, and southern fried chicken with cornbread.

She ended up choosing the beef stew and he had the French dip sandwich and fries. She could tell by watching him eat how much happier he was with this food than the Bistro food. She suddenly realized that as different as he and Daryl seemed on the surface, what with the obvious differences in their lifestyles and demeanor's, at the core of them they were very much alike. They were simple men who found comfort in simple things.

And she was pleasantly surprised by how delicious the stew was, it reminded her of her grandmother's.

"Alright Cupcake be honest now, whaddya think?"

"I'm so glad I didn't just go along and let you take me to the Bistro again, I could have missed all this. I love it Merle, its' delicious. Even if it wasn't so good, I'd come in often just to sit at the counter and have a lemonade with Agnes."

"Yeah that crabby old bitty, she used to be the only woman I ever really loved, 'til you come along." He smiled almost shyly at her then. It made her heart warm, there was a deeper softer side to Merle Dixon.

She told him about Daryl's call, "Yeah he called me too an said ya said it was okay if I's there."

She nearly laughed, "So what do you suppose this is all about?"

"Well part of it I think is just Becky wantin' ta see her friend Beth. And I think they just wanted ta make sure it was okay ta have me there, in case we was still on the outs. They know I'm a simple minded piece of shit."

"Stop that Merle, please don't talk about yourself that way. Anyway, I'm looking forward to it."

"Well I do believe those were Daryl's exact words ta me, 'she left ya cuz yer a simple minded piece a shit.' Daryl don't say much but when he does he makes his point."

* * *

She invited him in and they sat on her couch talking. She watched him as he sipped at a Jameson and she felt her heart giving into him more. She was tired of denying herself and him. "I'd like you to kiss me Merle."

She didn't have to ask him twice. His kiss was deep, passionate and full of need. But even though they both desperately wanted more, they didn't let it go any further.

When she asked him, "Why don't you come for dinner Friday night? I'll make that chicken and noodles you like so much." It made him happy hoping they were getting back into what they'd been before, only he knew this was better. He'd been getting honest with her, letting her know him.

 **Friday**

He went home from work, took a quick shower and put on something a little more comfortable than that uni and duty belt he'd been wearing all day. He headed to her house making a couple of quick stops along the way. One stop to pick up a bottle for himself and some hard cider for her, and another at the florist to buy her some flowers.

When she opened the door he wished he would have brought more. This beautiful woman, just the look of her was enough to make him want her. And it wasn't just the obvious beauty, it was that sweet and loving nature that backed up the beauty. That was what he just couldn't get enough of.

"Oh thank you Merle they're beautiful. And as much as I hate to admit this, I'm starting to develop a little taste for that hard cider."

"Nuthin' wrong with enjoyin' a little cider Cupcake. I'll make sure an keep ya in check, not let ya get too drunk n crazy." They laughed knowing she'd fall sound asleep long before she ever got "crazy."

They ate lightly, both of them a little anxious, unsure how the evening would progress. He helped her tidy up and they moved to the couch. She got her guitar and played him two of his favorite Johnny Cash tunes, "Ring of Fire" and "I Walk the Line."

He was enjoying it, the sound of it, the mood of it and watching her. She set the guitar down and she did something she'd never done before, she made the play, "I'm tired of fighting with myself Merle, I need you."

He was overcome with two feelings, desire and the feeling of being unworthy of this, of her. But he loved her and he wanted her and if she was willing he was more than ready. He stood and held a hand out to her, helping her from the couch.

He put his hands to the sides of her face, weaving his fingers through her blond curls and moving her mouth close to his. He kissed her with what seemed to her the perfect blend of love and lust. She'd missed the way he could make her feel with just his kiss.

He led her to the bedroom and standing there next to that flowery bed he'd grown to love, he kissed her again. He moved his lips near her ear and whispered softly, "Thank ya for givin' me this chance. I love ya Beth, I promise ya that forever."

He kissed her, ran his hands through her hair, caressed her pretty face, nuzzled at her neck and sucked on the delicate and sensitized skin there, and then he moved a hand to her breast. He didn't linger long on the outside of her sweater, he was anxious to remove that garment. But he took it slow making it a sensual experience for both of them.

He had the clasp on her bra unsnapped before she realized what he was doing, his mouth was on her breast and his hand on her bottom, pulling her close to him. She pulled back a little, smiled shyly and began unbuttoning his shirt. As agonizingly slow as she seemed to be going he didn't help her with it. Part of the pleasure was in watching her.

And when she moved to his belt he felt himself give into her completely. She'd never made these bold moves before. He didn't know where this new forward Beth had come from, but he wasn't complaining a bit. He followed her lead and unbuttoned those tight jeans of hers, sliding his hands down inside her panties and cupping her cheeks in those big hands. She surprised him again when she followed suit and slid her hands in his pants, grabbing onto his ass with her delicate hands.

They were pressed firmly into one another as his mouth moved from her lips to her neck, and settled on her breast where he teased and licked at her nipple and the soft pink skin surrounding it.

Her pleasure sighs spurred him on and he soon had all her clothes off. He slid his hands down to the backs of her thighs and lifted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist and her hands on his shoulders. He set her down on the edge of the bed, and he dropped to his knees in front of her. He spread her legs and she lifted them to rest on his shoulders. He slipped his hands under her and lifted her bottom just enough, he pulled her closer, and he moved his mouth to taste the sweetness of her, that sweetness he'd missed so much.

He used his tongue and his lips to taste, suck and tease her most sensitive area. She'd missed his attentions and the ways he knew to excite her. Her fingers were in his hair, pulling his mouth into her even more, and when he worked his tongue that way he knew she loved, she lost control and called out with pleasure.

He lifted his head and smiled up at her and his smile, and the orgasm she'd just experienced, made her want him even more. "Please Merle, I need you."

He lifted her just enough to lay her in the middle of the bed, he quickly slipped out of his pants and slid in between those flowered sheets with her. He lay next to her, hands to either side of her face, he kissed her with intensity and softly told her, "I love ya woman, I want ya ta always believe me, trust me when I tell ya that you're everythin' ta me."

He moved his mouth to her breast and his hand between her legs. The feel of his lips and tongue on her breast and his fingers moving inside her made her moan. He leaned up and smiled at her as he slid his fingers out of her and sucked on them while he looked in her eyes. He positioned himself above her and she held him and guided him into her.

His strokes weren't soft and gentle, they were hard and deep, this was a feeling they'd both missed and they both craved the intensity. It wasn't long until she came again. He drove into her harder through her orgasm and then he relished his own calling out her name when he did.

It took some time for their breathing to calm, he'd rolled over on his back and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her tightly into him.

She knew she didn't need to ask if he was staying.

 **A/N Well wounds seem to be healing right up! We'll see if we can't keep this ship in the water. We'll go to Daryl and Becky's next week and see what's on Becky's mind. Thanks so much for reading this story. I'd very much appreciate you leaving a review / comment xo**

 **To see the chapter photo (dang the man looks hot) please visit my tumblr at bethylmethbrick See you next Tuesday!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N Thank you all very much for the follows, faves and comments / reviews. I always love hearing your take on what our couple is up to. Lots of you mentioned the awesomeness that is Agnes, thanks for that. I'm quite fond of her myself and you'll see more of her this chapter. We're picking up right where we left off, "reconciliation weekend."**

She'd been like a heat seeking missile all night long, and it was his body heat she'd been seeking. If he rolled over, she rolled over into him. If he lay on his back she was snugged into his side with her head on his chest, if he was on his side she was spooning him. Sleeping with Beth Greene meant a man was never lying alone.

But he wasn't complaining because the truth was he'd found he liked it. It surprised him how much he liked her wanting him close, even in her sleep. Knowing that she wanted that closeness was a huge turn-on to Merle Dixon.

Like right now, with her arm around his waist, her face pressed up to his back, and her leg wrapped around his legs. Then she whispered, "Are you awake?" And he slowly rolled over to show her just how awake he was. They made love, and after hugging her to him for a while he smiled, "Lemme go make us some coffee."

They had their coffee together and he told her, "I got things I gotta get done today Beth, stuff around my place an errands I gotta do, wash the car, go ta the cleaners an the grocery, all that shit no one wants ta do. We'll be with Becky an Daryl tomorrow so it's now or never."

She smiled sweetly, "I have laundry and errands too, and I'd really like to get a mani/pedi." He smiled thinking about that, he'd like to give her a pedi sometime.

"Why don't I come by an get ya 'bout five? We'll go have an early dinner, then ya come back ta my place, spend the night? Ya ain't been ta my house in a long while."

"Okay I'd like that Merle."

The first thing he did when he got home was lay down and take a nap. She'd worn him out in the sack, in more ways than one.

He cleaned up the place, did his yard work, washed his truck and polished the Bike. Then he got in the pickup and made his rounds, got his cleaning, gassed up the truck, stopped by the drug store and picked up toothpaste and shave cream. His last stop was the grocery, he wanted to have things in the house for her, and he knew he wanted to fix her breakfast in the morning.

He got home, shaved and showered, got dressed and he had time to kill. He put on some Cash and thought about her singing to him. Fuck he wished he was smoking a fat one right now. But nah, he wanted her more than he wanted the weed. He'd just gotten her back, he was never taking any chance of losing her again.

He got to her place 10 minutes early but she was ready, waiting for him. She looked so pretty, so sweet, yeah too young, too pretty and way too sweet for him, but he'd already decided he was going to learn to live with that.

His first instinct was to wrap his arms around her and that's just what he did, "Hey missed ya this afternoon." He could hardly believe he could miss someone after only a few hours, but fuck him if it wasn't the damn truth.

She wrapped her own arms around his waist and looked up, "I missed you too."

He carried her little overnight bag to the truck, he wasn't one bit surprised that it was covered in flowers. He helped her in and smiled at her, "Ya look so pretty I think I better take ya somewhere nice." And damn if that didn't make her pink right up. The evening was off to a good start.

He took her to the restaurant where they'd had their first date, The Fireside Room. "Can I order ya a cocktail Cupcake?"

"I don't know Merle, I feel like I've been drinking a lot lately."

He couldn't hold back the laugh, he took a hold of her hand and looked in her eyes, "Beth, Honey, I pour ya a glass a hard cider and ya have three or four sips. I don't think you're gonna be in need a AA anytime soon. But ya ain't gotta drink. What's your poison?"

"I think I'll start with ice tea, how's that?"

"Perfect."

The waiter came over and he placed the order, "The lady will have ice tea, I'd take a Jameson neat, ice on the side. Thanks."

"I love this place Merle, I'm so glad you brought me here. It's where we had our first date and I'll never forget that. It was a special evening. I was so happy you asked me out and I was so proud to be seen with you. You were so handsome and sophisticated."

"Well thanks Cupcake, I's beyond proud ta be seen with you. But If I'm your idea of sophisticated then I got some concerns about ya. Most folks would tell ya I'm the poster boy for all things redneck."

They got back to his place and he set the little bag in his room. "We oughta dance Cupcake, whaddya think?"

She smiled widely, "Okay."

He put on the music, held a hand out to her and they danced around the living room.

* * *

He woke up Sunday morning the same way he had Saturday morning, with his favorite heat seeking missile nestled into his back, arms and legs around him. He realized this was going to be his new normal for Saturday and Sunday mornings. He just smiled and lay there until she started to stir and she again whispered, "Are you awake?" And again, he showed her that he was.

When they finally got out of bed he fixed her coffee and a light breakfast of eggs and toast and juice. He knew she wasn't a big eater and he also knew Becky would put out a nice meal for them that afternoon.

"This is delicious Merle, thank you for the wonderful breakfast." Damn, she was just so fucking sweet, and he had that little bit of doubt again, the one that told him she was too sweet for the likes of him, but he smoothed it over in his mind. Everything was good. Yeah, good.

"No big deal, it's just eggs n toast. I know Becky will feed us real good later."

He let her get ready in the master bath and he used the smaller one. He knew enough to know a woman needed a lot more time and space to get ready than a man did.

They rode the Bike to Daryl and Becky's, getting there about noon. Merle smiled when he saw them, damn they were like a couple of old mountain hillbillies sitting up there on the front porch. The both of them in a rocker, Daryl drinking on a beer and Becky with her glass of sweet tea.

He held out an arm for Beth to steady herself as she got off the Bike. Becky was over to her in no time flat hugging on her and telling her how much she missed her. Damn, was everyone in love with his woman?

Finally it was his turn and he gave Becky their customary hug, "Hey there little sister, how ya doin'?"

"I'm doin' real fine Merle, yerself?"

"Yep real good now that Beth seen her way clear ta give me one more chance."

About then Daryl commented, "Yeah well don't fuck it up this time ya dumbass."

"Yeah thanks for the vote a confidence Little Brother, I's just startin' ta feel bad about myself, I needed that little ego boost."

It always amazed her the way these men talked to one another. Some of those remarks had to sting. Once again she just decided that was the way men were.

"C'mon an sit on the porch, Becky's got sumthin' ta say. Y'all want a drink or anythin'?"

"Yeah Little Brother, I'd have one a them good homebrews ya try n keep just for yourself, an thanks. Beth?"

"I think I'd like a sweet tea please."

He noticed she sat by Becky, opposite of where Daryl's seat was. Gals liked to flock together like that. And it was a relief to him to know that Beth accepted his small family. He didn't know how he would feel if she didn't care to be around them.

Daryl was a real loving and devoted husband to Becky, that was an indisputable fact, no man had ever loved a woman more. But he was also that guy, the one whose wife kind of waits on him, brings him his beer or his dinner, takes care of the household, takes care of him. So Merle was surprised when Becky started to get up and Daryl said, 'Nah, I'll get it, ya just sit Becky." Huh? Yeah odd.

Beth was just so curious she could hardly stand it another minute, what in the world had Becky "summoned" them for. Because that's what it felt like, like they'd been brought there together for some earthshattering news.

"Thanks for comin' ta see us," Becky smiled at them and Daryl took her hand, gave it a little squeeze and smiled that 'almost' smile at her, "I got some news an I wanted ta tell it to ya. In 'bout seven months' time me an Daryl we're gonna have us a little one."

Merle was up off that chair and yelling "Damn Brother this is excitin' news for our family. I'm real, real happy for ya both, well I guess for all three of ya. I can't wait ta meet the newest Dixon."

And Beth saw that blush come up Daryl's neck and it made her smile more. "Oh Becky this is the best news, I'm so happy for you, so happy you're going to be a Mama. You'll be so wonderful I know you will." She hugged her tight and then looked to Daryl, "And I'm so happy for you too Daryl, I know you're going to be a great Daddy."

"I hope ta be. Been wantin' this a long time with Becky." She liked how he qualified that, he didn't just want to be a Daddy, he wanted it to happen with Becky.

Daryl wanted to thank Beth for the words she'd said to Becky that day, but he couldn't let on he'd heard them.

"Come see what I done Beth." And Becky led her into what was now officially the nursery. She opened one of the dresser drawers and showed Beth some little baby gowns she'd made and some tiny t-shirts. "Oh my Becky these are so small and so perfect, I'm so excited and so happy." And again she hugged her friend.

"Thank ya Beth, I thank ya for tellin' me I could do this, that my baby wouldn't be scared a me."

* * *

They rode back to his place, picked up her overnight bag and he drove her home in the pickup. They sat on her couch holding hands. "Been quite the weekend, ain't it Cupcake?"

"I'll say, I need a few days off to rest up now. But I'm just so happy about the way everything has turned out. I'm happy we're together again and that things are so good, so much better already. And I am so excited and so happy for Daryl and Becky. I really do think they're going to be such wonderful parents, they're such a special and loving couple."

He nodded, "I'm happy too, an so grateful ya give me another chance Beth. Like I told ya, I'ma prove to ya that I can do this, be a good man to ya. And Daryl and Becky, damn, the boy's wanted this since they first got married and that sweet woman's been so scared. I'm glad ta see they finally agreed, she seems every bit as happy as him. Some people are made ta be married an have children. Them two are a perfect example a that."

And then he put his arm around her shoulder, drew her to him and kissed her. "I thank ya for a wonderful weekend, I ain't ever gonna be able ta thank ya enough for everythin' Beth."

 **Two Months Later**

Their lives had become, and not in a negative sense, routine. They spent their weekend nights at either her house or his. Usually Saturdays during the day they'd go separate ways and do their thing. In her case it was painting, errands and sometimes meeting Sasha for lunch.

In his case it was hunting or fishing, or just taking a long ride on his Bike, meeting up with Daryl for wings and a beer when he came to town for his and Becky's errands, and just doing the mundane chores that everyone had to do.

She'd started to show her paintings at the twice-monthly arts and craft fair in the city park. She was having some success with sales and it thrilled her to think others put value on her work, that they'd actually pay to own one of her works.

It started early Saturday mornings and Merle would help her set up her booth, and then take off to do whatever he had to do.

Merle was proud of her. No one had to tell him how talented she was. Between her work, her singing and songwriting and her art, he never failed to be impressed. He loved going over in the evening and just sitting quietly, observing her while she painted. At first it had made her nervous, but he was so good about giving her space. And she grew to like having him there, soft jazz playing as background music, and knowing he wanted to be there with her and that he admired and appreciated the work she did.

Sundays they often spent the day with Daryl and Becky. Although they never brought it up in front of Becky, Merle, Daryl and Beth had all worried that the deep knife wounds she suffered may have caused some internal damage they didn't know about, something that could complicate the pregnancy. But everything was going well.

Michonne had a friend, an OB / GYN doctor who, when she heard Becky's story from Michonne, had agreed to treat Becky at home.

The woman, Dr. Denise Cloyd was soft-spoken, reassuring and supportive. And her psychiatric background was a real plus. She helped build Becky's confidence and was never in a rush with her, she was always anxious to listen to any concerns either Becky or her husband may have. For herself, she appreciated the opportunity to observe the woman and her husband. She'd never known people like them, and just like Beth she was intrigued, and it surprised the doctor how deeply she cared about them, wanted this to all work out just right.

xxxx

Three months after the reconciliation of Merle Dixon and Beth Greene, it was late on a Tuesday evening, Beth got a call from her Mama. Her Daddy had been patching the roof when he fell from the ladder and broke his leg. He was an older man and it was going to be a long healing process. Mama had asked each of her children to come for a visit, but during different times. That way she'd have help and her husband could have a chance to visit with each of his children individually. She wanted to know if Beth could come that Friday after work and stay a week.

Of course she said she would, just as long as the sheriff agreed to give her the time off and maybe even if he didn't, it was her Daddy after all. She talked to Rick first thing the next morning and he agreed, "Oh sure no problem, of course ya gotta go Beth, and I don't see why we can't struggle along without you for a week. The court case you're on should wrap up today anyway. I hope your Dad makes a speedy recovery, its' tough when the parents start to age."

She hadn't told Merle yet, she hadn't wanted to take a chance on waking him the night before, and now she learned he was out on a case all day and wouldn't be in the office. She sent him a text and asked him to please come by her place after work, she needed to talk. He texted her back, concerned that she was hurt or sick or something. She assured him she was fine but that something had come up. He said he'd be there at 6:00.

She'd stopped on her way home and picked up a to-go dinner order for them from the diner. She told Agnes what had happened, the older woman had taken her hand and told her how sorry she was and that she hoped everything would be just fine.

Merle arrived and she handed him a beer, and then explained everything that had happened and that she was going to the farm for a week. "Ah Cupcake, I'm so sorry. If your Daddy's as tough as you are I'm sure everythin' will be just fine. An even under these circumstances I know you'll enjoy spendin' this time with your Mama an Daddy, but damn girl, I'ma miss ya."

"Merle I thought it would be nice if you took me. We could leave right from work Friday and be at the farm in just over two hours. You could meet my folks, see the farm, and stay for the weekend."

He smiled at her, "Yeah ya know Beth I ain't the kind ta go home an meet the parents, I don't think that's really my deal. I'm sure they're real nice folks an all, but no, I just don't think I wanna do it."

And Ms Beth Greene was not a happy woman. She'd now spent more than nine months in a relationship with Merle Dixon, her father was injured and her boyfriend didn't want to take her to see him, he didn't want to meet her parents? There was no excuse, saying it wasn't his deal was not going to cut it with her.

"I can't believe you Merle! Really? You're supposed to be my boyfriend and now my father is hurt, my Mother needs help and it just isn't your thing to take me, to show my parents the courtesy of meeting them? I would hope to have quite a bit more support from a man who claims to be in love with me."

"Oh don't fuckin' go there Beth, ya know damn good an well I love ya, everything about ya, an ya also know the man I am. Your Daddy an Mama are gonna have one look at me and send ya to a damn convent or sumthin'. I ain't the kind a man a gal brings home ta Daddy. I'll miss ya a bunch, but no, I ain't goin'."

The fight continued for half an hour, Beth was sure her neighbors were getting an earful. Finally in her frustration she told him, "You know what Merle, just get the hell out. Can I at least depend on you for that? To run. That's what you're good at."

And the look in his eyes scared her. She'd never been scared of him before, of what he might do, but she was now. But he didn't speak, he just turned around and walked out. He didn't even slam the door.

She was furious with him, hurt and confused. She took her adrenaline rush and used that energy to pack a suitcase for her trip, vacuum a floor that didn't need vacuuming, and finally she took a bubble bath. All while the two dinners sat on the kitchen counter.

Merle Dixon was mighty tempted to reach into his old playbook and head right over to the Cinnamon Shack. But nah, he'd made a promise and he wasn't inclined to break it.

What he did do was go home and consume way too much Jameson for a Wednesday night, and he wondered why the hell she was being so stubborn about this. It wasn't like he told her she couldn't go, shit she didn't need him there.

He was in the field the next day, still tracking a drug deal. He figured that would give her a chance to get over this bullshit, get a grip and realize there was no reason she should expect him to go.

She was so upset she couldn't see straight. How could he be so mean, so selfish, so non-supportive? He was everything he always told her he was.

And then he wasn't even at work so she could ignore him completely, except for the occasional dirty look. She would not be getting over this anytime soon.

He expected a call from her Thursday night apologizing for jumping all over his ass, and then tossing him out like yesterday's garbage.

She expected him to call her Thursday night, apologize for being a pig-headed jerk, beg her forgiveness and tell her he'd be happy to take her to the farm, and more importantly, happy to meet her folks.

Nobody called anybody.

She woke up Friday morning feeling disappointed, sad and fighting a major case of the blues. She'd wanted this with him, that he'd meet her folks, see the farm, that this step would propel their relationship into the next phase, the one where they started to talk about their future, together.

He woke up Friday morning and he was just plain pissed off. She was being ridiculous. What the fuck? She knew he loved her, wanted her, and worshiped the fucking ground she walked on. Hell, she was running his whole goddamn life. What the hell else did she want? Now he had to do everything she said, everything she wanted or she'd cut him off? Bullshit on that!

He took out his anger at that drug deal he busted. Zach was there as his backup, the young cop was sure there wasn't anyone else in the department that could get away with busting heads like this. Yeah Merle Dixon was one mean son of a bitch when he was pissed, and shit, for the last couple of days he'd been like a fucking bear with a sore ass.

But somehow Chief Deputy Dixon always managed to pull it out of the bag, get away with it. The younger deputy figured it was because they were drug dealers, lowlife pond scum, no one really gave a rat's ass when he brought them to the station bruised and bloodied.

What he never had been able to figure was what a beautiful young woman like the Sketch Artist was doing with this mean old bastard. He sure hoped he'd never hear that Merle Dixon had hurt her.

* * *

By the time he convinced the sheriff it was all good, a clean bust, nothing would be biting them back, then filled out all that damn paperwork, Merle's last nerve was frayed.

He was tired, hungry and just fucking pissed off. He was going to eat a little something, drink a jug of Jameson, and think about how lonely she was there on that farm without him.

When Beth got to the farm and had spent a little time greeting her parents and putting her things away, Mama asked, "Honey I thought you were going to bring your young man for the weekend. Daddy and I were looking forward to meeting him."

Beth wasn't inclined to bring them into the middle of all this, they had enough on their plates, they didn't need to know that Merle Dixon was a jerk. So she smiled, shrugged, "I know, he and I were both so disappointed he couldn't be here. It's a job thing, there's a big drug case he's been working on and he just couldn't get away. He said to tell you he was real sorry."

When she spoke those words to her Mama and Daddy it suddenly all hit her in the heart. What if she and Merle never made up? What if this was it? She managed to hold back the tears, keep those emotions in check in front of them, but it took every bit of determination she had. She didn't really want to lose him.

He went with the familiar, Fred's Diner. He'd get some of that good home-style cooking, then he'd head home to Jameson and Cash.

He took his usual booth and soon Agnes was there, order pad and pencil ready, but also a puzzled look on her face. "What're ya doin' here Merle? Why ain't ya with Beth?"

"What about Beth?"

"She was in here Wednesday, stopped and picked up dinner for the two of ya. She told me what had happened ta her Daddy, said she thought you'd probably take her home ta see him this weekend."

"Yeah well I told her that shit ain't really my deal, I'm not the man that's goin' home ta meet the folks. I told her I didn't have no problem at all with her goin'. Jesus you'd think I was the biggest asshole ta ever come down the pike the way she's acted."

Agnes' eyes hadn't left him. She listened to him and then Agnes tore him a new one, in her own sweet, loving and gentle way, "Well Merle Dixon, that's because ya are the biggest asshole ta ever come down the pike. What the hell's the matter with ya boy? How could ya let her just go on her own? She was countin' on ya bein' there, supportin' her, meetin' them other two people she loves. So now I guess ya just told her she don't mean that much to ya, that she can't count on ya when the weather gets stormy. Yer too damn busy worryin' about yer own tender little self an what you want. An what about you, ya drag her cute little ass ta Daryl and Becky's every damn weekend, so it's all good with you that she spends time with yer family but ya ain't got time for hers. Ya told me how happy ya was that she cared for yer family, now ya won't even meet hers. Well I ain't feedin' ya tonight, I ain't got time for yer selfish bullshit. Now go on an go ta that MacDonald's joint, that's more suited ta yer style."

Well fuck.

That's what he did, he got two crappy burgers, went home and drank a little and thought. Thought hard. Tried to see her side of all this. He kept the drinking down, just had a couple. Listened to a little bit of the blues, made a plan.

He was putting his overnight case in the car Saturday morning, just before six. He had a mind to stop along the way and get some flowers for her and her Mama. And he hoped like hell she wouldn't just toss his sorry ass right off that farm.

 **A/N Ah Merle, he's just so Merle. The good news is it seems he can learn. Thanks Agnes. And thank all of you for reading, please review / comment I always love to hear what you have to say xo**

 **To see the chapter photo of our couple visit my tumblr at bethylmethbrick Thanks Again, See you next Tuesday!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N Thank you all so much! I always look forward to hearing how you feel about Merle's latest missteps and his efforts to make things right. I happen to think Merle tries very hard, he often just has no idea what the heck to do next. He needs instructions, like from Agnes :) Let's see if he can right the ship.**

He figured he was about an hour out from the farm. He'd stopped and gotten coffee to-go at some little joint along the way. He'd also stopped at a small farmer's market and gotten the flowers.

Now his stomach was starting to tense up and he was trying to blame it on the caffeine. Shit the truth was he hated just showing up there, not knowing what to expect.

This was so not in Merle Dixon's wheelhouse. He'd never met a woman's folks, had to be on point, try to impress, work hard not to offend, but he knew if he didn't make this effort, take this chance, well she'd be dumping his ass and rightly so. He may not know much, but Merle Dixon knew he couldn't give up Beth Greene.

It was five in the morning and she was laying there in her old bed, wide awake. She hadn't slept well at all. The truth was she hadn't slept well since they fought. They didn't disagree very often, and they certainly didn't engage in screaming matches, even when they'd had their breakup. This had been one for the books.

She knew he loved her but she was still worried this might be the end of their relationship. Merle Dixon was a prideful man, she knew that, she got it, she really did. It was just a part of who he was.

And being honest with herself she knew she could have sprung the whole thing on him in a better way. It wasn't like she didn't know the man he was. She should have eased into it with him and asked him, not acted like she expected it. Like it was something he'd want to do. He'd been very open and honest with her about his history with women and people in general, she knew she was pushing the limits of his comfort zone.

But still he should have made the effort.

Mama and Daddy were quietly having their coffee in his office, where Daddy could sit in his favorite chair and comfortably prop his leg up on the ottoman. They were aware something was up. Why did their kids always think they were oblivious to everything around them, or act like they had to be shielded from anything unpleasant?

"Hershel she was so excited about bringing this man home to meet us, she practically gushes about him every time I talk to her on the phone. She's told me she loves him and that he loves her. That story she told about him working, well the way she was fidgeting when she told us I knew she was fibbing."

"I know I got that feeling, I just hope whatever it is they somehow resolve it. I don't like seeing Bethie sad." And he smiled at his wife, "And we both know our daughter can get a little stubborn."

GPS was a fail out there in the boondocks, but with the help of a woman working at a fruit stand he found the driveway with the mailbox marked "Greene."

As he pulled in that long drive he could feel his stomach tighten more, and even with the AC on full blast he felt like he was sweating. Shit this was going to suck, there was no way around that.

He drove right up to that big white house and took a deep breath, he got out of the pickup. He was heading for the door when it opened. An older couple was standing there in the doorway the man in a leg cast and leaning on a crutch, he was glad to see they had smiles on their face. "Hello there, we heard your pickup when you pulled onto our road, it's quiet out here."

He put on his best face, the one that said, 'I might look rough but I'm a real nice fella'. He held out a hand, "How do ya do, my name's Merle Dixon I'm a friend of Beth's. Sorry I couldn't get here yesterday, I had work n all." He handed her Mama one of the bouquets.

She'd heard that truck too. She was standing at the top of the stairs listening to him and thanking God his story matched hers. Well she should have known it would. No one knew people and their ways better than Merle Dixon, and no one knew her better than he did. In fact she felt pretty sure the only person in the world Merle Dixon had never been able to figure out was himself. He'd spent a lifetime fighting with himself and his feelings.

Mama and Daddy were welcoming him and asking him ten gillion questions when she came down the stairs, "Merle you were able to make it, how nice!" She had to make this look good for her parents.

He was relieved to see she was at least going to play along, not kill him right there in front of her folks. He put an arm loosely around her shoulders and bent down kissing her chastely on the cheek. "Mornin' Beth," and he handed her the other bouquet.

Mama could see just that little bit of tension between them and she jumped in, "Beth you should take Merle for a little walk outside. He'd probably like stretching his legs after the long car ride. I'll fix us all some breakfast."

He nodded toward her Mother, "Thank ya Ma'am but I don't wanna be a bother."

"Oh please it's no bother, I would be fixing breakfast anyway." She smiled warmly and he knew where Beth got her pretty smile.

"Thank you Mama." She said, and then she surprised him when she reached for his hand. Too bad it was probably all just for show for Mama and Daddy. But he decided he should just enjoy it while it lasted.

They walked around the yard and over to the side of the house. She just wanted to be out of sight and out of earshot for a few minutes. She dropped his hand and put hers on her hip, "So?"

"So? Well 'so' is I'm an asshole, ain't no excuse for the kind of worthless asshole I'm capable a bein'. I shoulda been proud ya wanted me ta meet your Mama an Daddy, shoulda been honored. And I really shoulda been the kinda man that would never think ya oughta drive out here on your own. I shoulda offered ta escort ya before ya even asked. Shoulda been givin' ya support. Ya know I ain't got an excuse cuz there ain't no excuse. All I can do now is ask ya ta try n forgive me. Try an give me a chance ta make it up somehow. Shit Beth I don't know. It's all up ta you."

She looked down, nodded and then looked up at him. "Well I don't think it's all your fault. I could have approached you about it in some better way. Maybe eased into it with you. After all Merle Dixon, I think I know and understand you a little better than you realize I do, and I should have thought about the best way to invite you. I'm sorry too."

"Nah Cupcake, ain't your job ta try an figure out how you're supposed ta get me ta do the right thing. I should know ta do the right thing. I'ma work on it girl, ya know I will."

"I do know you will because Merle, I am well aware of all the huge changes you've already made in your lifestyle. And I do know you've made those changes to make me happy. Don't think for a minute those things go unnoticed or that I don't appreciate them. 90% of the time I'm aware that you are going out of your way to make me happy, to accommodate my needs, and you do make me happy and make me feel loved all the time. But I can't deny this was a huge disappointment to me."

It was his turn to look down and his hand was rubbing across the back of his neck. "Do ya think there's a way we can start fresh with all this? I'm here now, can we make the best of it and see if I can do this thing? Step up like I shoulda? See if your folks can abide the likes a me bein' anywhere near their precious daughter."

That's when Daddy almost laughed out loud. He'd been sitting there in his chair this whole time, the one right by that open window in his office. It wasn't like he'd meant to eavesdrop, but he'd heard every word they said. He kind of liked Merle Dixon. He didn't care much for the man's language, but he seemed honest and not afraid to admit he might have been wrong about something, and he seemed to be trying very hard to make things right with Beth.

When Mama came in with a fresh cup of coffee for her husband he told her the story in a whisper, they both smiled and Mama said, "He's sure not the man I would have expected Beth to show up with, but I can see where she'd find him handsome, and he's quite charming. And my goodness, if he's man enough to admit when he's wrong, well that's half the battle right there."

Daddy whispered back, "And it looks like we're going to have him around here for a couple of days, you know so we have time to decide if we can 'abide him being anywhere near our precious daughter.'" And they were both trying hard not to laugh out loud.

They were peeking out from behind the curtain when Merle told their daughter, "Ya know I love ya Beth. That ain't ever gonna change. Can we put this shit behind us an get back ta bein' friends an lovers?" Mama and Daddy gave each other the big eyes on that.

"Merle I want this to work more than anything. I don't want to just walk away from us, from what we have. I don't want us to lose each other. Let's try and communicate a little better, can we do that? I love you too."

And he took her in his arms then and Mama and Daddy closed the curtain. Daddy looked to his wife, "This is the most fun we've had on Saturday morning in quite a while." And his wife smiled and gave him a real special kiss.

* * *

Mama had fixed bacon, eggs, grits, biscuits and coffee. Merle Dixon was at the heart of him a southern man, and he was on point when he grinned and said, "This here is delicious Ma'am, now I know where Beth gets her cookin' skills."

"Well thank you Merle, how nice of you to say."

Daddy asked him all the usual questions about his job. Folks were always interested to hear about police work, undercover work, drug deals that got busted up and how. Merle knew enough to keep it homogenized so as not to upset or shock her parents. And although he wasn't always successful he did try hard to keep his language in check.

"That sounds like important work Merle you must be very good at what you do."

He didn't miss a beat, "Well it's hard to say how well I'd do with other types a crime, but I seem ta do real good bustin' drug deals and drug dealers."

The conversation came easy after that. The thing Beth Greene understood about Merle Dixon was he knew how to work people, how you talk to them and put them at ease, how to endear himself to them, tell them the things they wanted to hear. All of that. He could be a master manipulator. But she'd known him long enough she felt sure he was being sincere.

After breakfast he pulled a classic Merle 'I know how to treat the ladies' move, when he suggested, "Ya cooked such a nice breakfast Ma'am while givin' Beth an me a chance ta visit an all, why don't ya allow us ta do the dishes." And he beamed that ear to ear smile and Mama was won over.

* * *

Mama and Daddy insisted they enjoy their afternoon together. Daddy suggested she give Merle a farm tour in the 4-wheeler. Heck they knew they'd have her to themselves all the next week, and they were sure these two still had some talking and some making up to do.

And indeed they did.

"Ya sure ya wanna drive this thing Beth? I could drive it ya know." He looked pretty uneasy sitting in the passenger seat, and it almost made her laugh.

He was surprisingly old-fashioned in a lot of ways, and one them was he never let her drive anywhere, he was the man and all of that. Well she was going to nudge him just a little further out of that comfort zone of his. "Oh no Merle that's alright, you don't really know your away around the farm and I do. Don't worry I've been driving farm equipment since I was ten."

And she went flat out in the 4-wheeler giving Merle Dixon the ride of his life over less than smooth terrain. He knew what she was doing, and as ornery as she was being he was still getting a kick out of her. He always did like that little bit of sass Beth Greene kept tucked away.

Finally she stopped by the big pond. "I'ma remember this ride all week Cupcake, cuz that's how long my ass is gonna be sore." And she couldn't help it then, he always had that little power of her, she laughed out loud.

But she kept her sass and said, "Maybe Daddy will send you home with some horse liniment for that." And yep, that sass and that hair all crazy and windblown and that little smirk on her face, he had to do it. He grabbed her right up and started kissing her like he'd wanted to since she came down those stairs that morning.

She hadn't planned on making it that easy on him, but she'd missed this with him. She wanted him kissing her just as much as he wanted to. She pulled away a little and told him, "I can't make it this easy on you Merle."

He pursed his lips just a little and said, "There ain't been one fuckin' thing about this I thought was easy Cupcake. Shit, this was one a the hardest damn things I ever done. I's scared you, your old man an your Mama would all be shootin' at me as soon as I made my approach. I guess ya didn't tell 'em what a worthless asshole your man is, huh?"

And then this woman who never swore said to him, "Now Merle you shouldn't talk about yourself that way, you're not a worthless asshole. A dumbass yes, but not an asshole."

Merle Dixon smiled, but then he got a serious look on his face. "I's scared Beth, thinkin' ya wouldn't want me no more. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have ya in my life. I know I ain't an easy man ta put up with, I know I can be mean n stubborn, but I am tryin' Beth, tryin' real hard cuz havin' this with you, this means sumthin' ta me. Means everythin'."

She felt the tears come up in her eyes then, but she didn't cry she just looked at him and smiled softly. She knew there wasn't any point in fighting it, she loved Merle Dixon.

And suddenly he smiled, put his finger under her chin and lifted her face to his, "I'ma kiss the sassy right outta ya woman."

* * *

When they got back to the house her Mama was all cheery, "I got your room ready Merle, it's Beth's brother's room. Well of course he's away at school. Anyway, I think you'll be quite comfortable in there. Beth can show you the way."

She followed him to his pickup to get his case and he said, "Fuck Cupcake, I guess I didn't think about sleepin' arrangements, hell I didn't even know if I's stayin'. I s'pose I shoulda known if I got ta stay your Mama and Daddy wasn't invitin' me ta share a bed with ya."

She put her hand on his cheek and smiled up at him, "Welcome to the farm Merle, we're an old-fashion bunch out here."

Her Mama cooked a real nice supper that night and he and her Daddy had a game of chess, and there was some great old mountain music on the phonograph. It was real nice and all, but when everyone acted like it was time to turn-in at nine o'clock, he was wishing he would have packed a bottle and a paperback in his case. At least he could have a couple drinks and read in the bedroom.

It turned out there were some old paperbacks in her brother's room, and he was trying to get into one about a detective pursuing a serial killer. He finally dosed off about eleven. But sometime after that he woke, it was when he heard the door squeak open and then softly close. He could see her silhouette there in the dim light as she walked softly over to the bed, she crawled in next to him and whispered, "I still don't know why I'm making this so easy on you Merle Dixon. I must have a kind heart."

He didn't ask questions, he was happy for this gift of her. They made love just as quietly as they could and she stayed with him until about four in the morning, before sneaking back to her own room.

He left late Sunday afternoon with a promise he'd return the next Saturday. She walked him to the pickup and he held her to him, "Damn girl, I didn't get near enough a you these past few days. I'ma miss ya real bad this week." He hoped her Mama and Daddy weren't watching because he couldn't help himself, he had to kiss her right.

Mama was never going to mention to anyone about the sneaking around she'd heard during the night.

 **A/N Well once again, Merle has dodged a bullet because love is love and Cupcake loves that Deputy. We'll see if he can keep it on the straight and narrow for a while. Thanks so much for reading, please leave a comment / review.**

 **To see the photo for this chapter visit my tumblr at bethylmethbrick Thank you again and I'll see you next Tuesday!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N Hey everyone! FF has been mighty hinky the past several days, so if you left a signed review and you didn't hear back from me, you know why. I'm trying to respond to as many as I can via PM. Hopefully they'll eventually get the problem resolved - please don't let it stop you from reviewing / commenting because you know I love to hear from you :) We're picking up right where we left off...**

Merle Dixon was trying so damn hard not to screw this thing up again he was driving her crazy, and himself right along with her.

He was texting her as soon as he got up just to say "Good morning!" Then he'd call her on his way to work, at lunch, and after work.

By the time he got off work that Wednesday she told him one call a day was probably sufficient, unless there was an emergency. He was relieved and so was she.

It was all Mama and Daddy could do not to laugh when he was at their house at 7:30 Saturday morning. Daddy whispered to Mama, "If that man isn't completely twitterpatted then I'm a monkey's uncle." Mama was in full agreement.

* * *

Her Daddy seemed to be doing better, getting around pretty dang good on those crutches. "Why don't you take my daughter out for a ride son? She's starting to drive me crazy with all her hovering." But the look on her Daddy's face told Merle a different story. He was going to miss that girl when she was gone, ah but who wouldn't?

Mama insisted they have a little breakfast first and he was trying real hard not to shove it all down too fast, but all he wanted was to get her alone. Even if just for a couple of hours.

They drove down to the water's edge and started on a walk, they'd gotten all of about ten feet when he had her in his arms and started kissing her like he hadn't seen her all week. When he finally came up for air he told her, "Damn girl I dunno if ya missed me but I sure as hell missed you."

"Oh I missed you Merle I can't wait to get home and back into our routine." And they never did make it very far on that walk.

* * *

They got back in time for the noon meal and him and her Daddy played a serious game of chess. That was followed by all of them playing a couple of games of pinochle. Merle was glad Agnes had taught him how to play that old card game, but he'd still needed a quick refresher course from her Daddy.

Then he got a chance to be alone with her again while they went out and checked on the animals and such. "So how soon ya gonna be able ta leave in the mornin' Cupcake?"

She giggled at how anxious he was. "I can't act like I can't wait to leave Merle. I'll probably stay until Maggie gets here, and then I'll want to visit with her a little bit, so I'm guessing around 1:30. You should stay and meet her."

He almost said, "Nah, that's okay." But then he wondered, shit am I going to be fucking this up again? So he said, "Yeah, I'd like that." Shit.

He'd packed smarter this time. When lights out hit at nine, he had a half pint of Jameson in his bag and a Western he was reading to entertain him that evening. After while he packed it in and he was trying hard to fall asleep, but sleep wouldn't come. About midnight that pretty little blond came slipping into his room again. Thank God for that, he didn't think he could make it without her much longer.

They'd both fallen sound asleep, neither one waking until nearly six. Then it was a little game of her trying to sneak back in her room without Mama and Daddy knowing she hadn't been in there all along.

Mama was downstairs frying bacon when she heard that old floor creak. Kids. She hoped to God they were using some kind of protection. And weren't they just thinking they were pretty darn cute and sneaky when they came happily downstairs 10 minutes apart. They were just real lucky Daddy was a little hard of hearing!

He was driving home and thinking how damn glad he was for the way things had worked out. They'd made up, they'd had some fun at her Mama and Daddy's and now they'd be back to their routine. Merle Dixon was thinking life was pretty fucking great.

xxxx

She'd gone to see Becky a couple of times during the week after she got back, but she couldn't stay long on a week night. She knew Daryl wanted to spend time with his wife and she needed to get home early anyway, she had work and stuff to think about. But she was just so happy to see her friend and so happy about the baby.

Saturday Merle and Daryl made plans to do a little hunting and even though it was Saturday market, she decided to forgo that in favor of spending the whole day with Becky. They planned to sew baby clothes and Beth was quite excited about that. Becky was teaching her so much and she loved this work. She also loved feeling like she was being helpful to her friend.

They started their project of "footy" pajamas for the baby.

Becky had told Daryl to pick two fabrics he liked and told him how much to buy. "Be sure ya don't get nuthin' that just screams out boy or girl, we ain't gonna know what we're havin' 'til it gets here." He'd just smiled at her, "Yes Mama."

He ended up buying a very pale green fabric with baby woodland creatures, deer, bear, rabbits all amid little nature scenes. He had a second fabric in pale yellow with baby farm creatures, lambs, pigs, chickens and ducks. The women agreed he'd done an excellent job. "I been sendin' that poor man after fabric for years. At first I knew he hated the idea but he's such a good man, never one ta wanna let me down. Now I've come ta think he makes better choices than I ever would anyway, an he says he don't mind anymore. Ya know Daryl has an artists' eye, that's not sumthin' you can just learn, ya gotta come by it natural. He especially likes gettin' the baby's things." She smiled a happy smile and Beth realized something then, she no longer even thought about Becky's scars when she looked at her. She saw the beauty in her eyes and her smile and what was on the inside.

They sewed and talked all day and it was good, natural. Becky had never had a sister or a girlfriend, and Beth had missed that closeness she once had with Maggie. It was a blessing for both of them to have another woman to talk to, to share with and just enjoy each others company.

Merle and Daryl hadn't gone far, they were just hunting rabbit and only looking to get enough for their supper that night. "Shit Daryl I still can't believe you're gonna be a Daddy. I always thought the Dixon legacy would die with you an me. But now it's gonna live on, except instead a bein' the worst thing imaginable, with you n Becky it's gonna be the best. I'm real, real happy for ya Brother."

"Thanks Brother, I'm suspectin' you n Beth'll be havin' one a yer own someday."

"Nah not this boy, I ain't cut out ta be no one's Daddy. Yer gonna have ta ensure this bloodline on your own Baby Brother."

Daryl just gave his brother the side eye wondering if Beth knew about this. He'd heard what she told Becky that day.

 **Two Months Later**

They'd soon fallen back into their routine. Tuesdays they'd eat at the diner and visit a bit with Agnes. Then on Thursdays she'd fix something simple or he'd bring in take home. On weeknights he'd go home to his own place to sleep. Weekends they stayed at either his place or hers.

Saturdays during the day they each did their thing, and once a month she sold her paintings at the Saturday Market. Business had been pretty good and she was encouraged by that to keep painting.

They were both happy, content and in love.

But that Saturday things changed in a very big way.

He'd picked her up at the Saturday Market and stowed her things on the back seat of his pickup.

They were taking a little walk in the park feeding the ducks, talking and just enjoying a beautiful afternoon, not too hot and definitely no chill in the air. And she asked him, "Do you think you'd ever like to get married and have children?"

The fuck was that all about? Everything between them was perfect just like it was. "Cupcake, Beth, ya seen my scars, ya know the kind a childhood I had. Nah I just ain't cut out ta be a Daddy, it ain't in my DNA. Besides that's a lifelong job I got no interest in signing up for. An if ya ain't gonna have kids there's no real reason ta get married, is there?" To him it was all logical.

She tried hard not to let her disappointment show even though she was devastated by what he'd said.

She continued her day with him, trying hard to enjoy the last "date" she would ever have with Merle Dixon, the man she loved. Her heart was broken but she tried to be sweet, be herself. She wanted this last time she'd be holding his hand to be special.

When they got back to her place he was packing all her art supplies to the door and he thought he was going in with her for the evening. But she held her palm to his chest, "No Merle, no more. I'm afraid this is the end for us. I have to break it off with you. I'm so sorry. It doesn't have anything to do with how I feel about you. It just has everything to do with life and circumstances."

He set her things down there on the stoop. "What the fuck Beth? Shit I thought we were good, I love ya Cupcake and I thought ya loved me too. What happened, did I do sumthin'? I ain't been nuthin' but true to ya, ain't done anythin' but love ya woman, c'mon now ya can't really be kickin' me ta the curb."

"I do love you. I'm sorry Merle. I wish you all the happiness in the world." And boom, just like that she shut the door.

Of course he banged on it and he begged her through the door, "Please Beth ya gotta talk ta me tell me what changed, ya owe me that much. I love ya, c'mon Baby please."

And maybe she was wrong but she wasn't going to do this to him or to herself anymore. He was always going to be Merle Dixon and she couldn't just keep making him change. Oh he'd go along, she was sure of that. But eventually he'd hate her for it, resent her. This was better, break it off now and avoid years of mutual suffering.

* * *

He just didn't know what the hell to do. He couldn't keep standing there banging on her door and yelling for her to open it up, begging her to talk to him. Shit, someone was going to call the cops and he wasn't going through all that right now.

The first thing he did when he left was stop at the Tavern and throw back a beer in record time, then he headed to his brother's place.

"Fuck Brother that don't sound like Beth, was ya fightin' 'bout sumthin' or what?"

"Nah everythin's been great, perfect really, we never fight about nuthin'. Beth, she's the sweetest thing a'goin'. I don't know what the fuck happened Brother. We was at the park, we was just walkin' around enjoyin' the day n chattin', it was all good. We get ta her place and that's when she says it's over, she don't let me in, won't talk about it. She didn't give a reason an fuck if she didn't say she loved me."

"Shit that's rough. What was ya talkin' about?"

"Nuthin' in particular just this an that, the flowers, the weather, what we had goin' on this comin' week. Everyday small talk. All I know is I'm one hurtin' son of a bitch Brother."

* * *

He never even thought about going to the Cinnamon Shack. He knew he'd never find comfort with anyone else. She was it for him, but apparently she was over him and his bullshit and whatever it was he'd done wrong this time. He just wished she'd a told him so he could try and make it right.

She hated to call Rick on Saturday but she did, this wouldn't keep. "I'd like to be able to give you more notice Rick but I'm afraid the circumstances just won't allow it. I have to move back with my Mother and Father. I can stay through this week and finish the trial and the big deposition. But I really need to be out by Saturday, otherwise I'll have to pay another month's rent."

"Man Beth I don't know what to say. I understand sometimes circumstances can't be helped but damn we're sure gonna miss ya, I don't just mean at work, we'll miss you personally. How's Merle taking this?"

Rats, she should have known he'd ask that, "Well I broke up with him Rick so I haven't even told him. But I'd say in general he's not very happy with me anyway."

As soon as she got off the phone she cried. She hoped to God she was doing the right thing. For now it seemed like her only real option.

The next call she made was to Sasha. She explained to her that she had to go. She asked her to please not mention it to anyone at work. She just wanted to know if Sasha could use any of her furniture. She had no way to get it back to the farm and she wasn't going to spend the little bit of savings she had on a U-Haul.

Sasha made her an offer, "My brother Tyrese and his girl are getting a place and he's looking for furniture. How about if he takes the furniture and gives you some cash and you give him a discount for hauling all your other things to your parents'? I'm sure they have room to store it in an attic or the barn or whatever you have out there on the farm. You're going to need all those things again someday Beth."

"That would be great Sasha. I appreciate your help so much. I'm planning on having everything packed and ready to go Saturday morning. Ask him if he can be here at eight."

The next call she made required a deep breath and a moment of silence. She hadn't told Mama and Daddy yet she was quitting her job and moving home. She knew they'd be more than happy to have her back with them, it was everything else they may not be happy about. She'd tell them all that in person.

Just as she thought they would, they said yes but they did want to know what in the world had happened and where Merle fit into all of this. She told them as soon as she got home she'd explain everything.

She wanted to drive out and see Becky but she was afraid Merle would be there. Instead she went over to the grocery to see if they had boxes, she had packing to do and she needed an outlet for her anxiety and her adrenaline. She worked through the evening and night and managed to pack up just about everything she wasn't going to be needing during the week.

* * *

With her hormones askew from the pregnancy and this terrible news Daryl told her about Merle and Beth, Becky was a crying mess. She wasn't usually much of a crier and Daryl wasn't sure what he should do to comfort her, so he just held tight to her and let her cry. The whole time he was thinking Merle had to have done or said something he wasn't even aware of for Beth to just shut him down this way.

Merle was a mess himself and he thought he'd just go on ahead and start down that road again, he could use a fat one. He went out to the garage and he found that little baggie he'd stashed. But he thought about it a minute and nah, he'd gone without this long, he wasn't going to give in now. He threw it in the trash can.

He went to his favorite chair and listened to the blues playing on the player with a bottle of Jameson in his hand, he was sipping right from that bottle. What the fuck else could he do?

And he made it to work Monday even though he wasn't feeling like a 100% of anything good. He really didn't give a fuck. He knew she was working at the court this week so he didn't have to worry he'd see her.

Rick called him in his office, "Ya doin' okay Merle?" He could smell that stale alcohol smell coming off his Chief Deputy.

"No I ain't sheriff but I'm here, I am sober, and I'm ready ta work. I ain't gonna be a problem."

"I'm real sorry about you and Beth buddy, I thought the two of ya were good, solid."

Merle was surprised, "How do ya know 'bout me an Beth already, she tell ya how she dumped my ass without so much as a fuck you an here's why?"

"No man but I'm sorry to hear it went that way. Nah, she called me to say she was quittin'. Friday's her last day."

Now Merle was not just surprised he was stunned and pissed. "Did she tell ya where she was goin'?"

"Yeah, she said she had ta go to her folks they needed her."

* * *

When Merle Dixon got home that night he did the same thing he'd been doing, ate nothing, got drunk and listened to the blues.

Tuesday night was the same. He was looking rough at work but Rick didn't get after him. He'd been through his own big breakup from hell once and he knew it could knock the wind out of a man. His attitude was that as long as Merle showed up ready to work, everything else would eventually work itself out.

Wednesday Merle Dixon didn't go home to get drunk. He did some breaking and entering instead. When she got home he was sitting on her sofa looking at her boxes of things ready to move.

When she saw him they just stared at one another. Finally she spoke, "If you don't leave Merle I'll call the sheriff."

"Please do that. Call him an when he gets here tell him what the fuck is goin' on an I'll just listen in."

"I'm moving on Merle, making changes in my life."

"Alright that's fair, I can't make ya love me if ya ain't feelin' it, but ya let me make love to ya Friday night, ya even told me ya loved me. Saturday ya told me you was done with me. I just want an answer Beth. I think ya owe me that. This has been over a year of our lives. It meant sumthin' ta me, I thought it meant sumthin' ta you too. I never took ya as a gal who took love an love makin' so casual."

He was right and she knew it but she didn't want to tell him, and she was trying hard to keep her emotions in check. "I've made a big error in judgment Merle. I have no intention of making you responsible for that poor judgment. I'm trying to save you from something you don't want, something you didn't sign on for.

"Why can't I decide if I wanna be involved? Maybe I wanna help ya with whatever it is. Ya get into debt? Did ya do sumthin' illegal? Piss off the wrong person? Or have ya been unfaithful, is that where all this is leadin' to Beth?"

"No Merle, I would never be unfaithful to you believe me, that's not it."

"Well then for God sake Beth tell me what the fuck it is. Jesus Christ girl I love ya, I want ya, I'm willin' ta let ya have me arrested ta try an get ta the point where at least I can sort of understand what the fuck is happenin' here."

She sank down into a chair at that point, her elbows were on her knees and her face was in her hands. "I've been a terrible person Merle. It wasn't anything you did. You never made any promises to me you didn't keep. You've been a wonderful man to me, you've been everything I ever wanted. But I wronged you when I took advantage of a situation. I thought I'd be happy with my actions, that you'd be happy. I was childish, immature and irresponsible and I don't want to burden you with my mistakes."

With that he was on the move, he knelt down in front of her taking her hands in his, "Tell me Beth, just tell me."

She nodded and took a deep breath. She had silent tears and he wiped them from her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. "Tell me Beth."

"When you didn't want to go to Mama's and Daddy's and we had the fight, there was something I forgot to take with me but I wasn't worried at the time. I thought it really wasn't going to matter anyway, that you were over me and it was the end. Then you showed up and I was so happy to see you, I wanted you Merle. I knew we weren't protected but I just didn't want to miss the chance to make love with you. I knew when I sneaked in that bedroom and crawled in that bed with you that we were playing with fire. But I didn't let you know. I enticed you, I let you make love to me with you thinking I was on those pills and I wasn't. I thought, oh I don't know what I thought Merle, I guess I thought if I got pregnant you'd want to marry me and it would all work out."

"Ya tellin' me you're pregnant Beth?"

"Yes Merle."

"An you was just gonna leave an never tell me? Never give me a chance ta make it right?" He was hurt, angry, but he wanted to figure it out, he wanted answers.

"When I asked you in the park if you thought you'd ever want to get married and have children you were very emphatic about wanting no such thing. I knew it was all my own doing and that's why I didn't want to tell you. I knew you'd do the honorable thing by me and the baby, even though that was clearly not what you'd want."

He took a deep breath, digesting what she'd said. "Ya asked me a question I never saw comin' an I gave ya an offhand answer, but ya didn't tell me the whole story. Ya didn't tell me you was pregnant with our baby, don't ya think that would make a difference? Yeah I got reservations about whether I'm a guy who could be a decent father. I ain't the kinda man your Daddy is, he knows what he's doin', probably had a real stand up Daddy of his own. I got no example ta go by. As far as marrying ya, shit Beth if I'da thought about that for a minute maybe I'da realized it was high time I asked ya, but I'm always flyin' blind with ya, never knowin' quite what I'm s'posed ta be doin' next. As long as we was lovin' an bein' together I thought we was happy an it was all good. I'da been honored ta marry ya Beth. An I ain't one ta be sendin' a child a mine off, is that the kind a asshole ya think I am? I mean shit yes, maybe I'd need some help knowin' what was the right thing ta do ta not fuck up the kids' life. But damn I'd try."

"Merle my Daddy's Daddy was a drunk and a child abuser. My Daddy is a recovered alcoholic. That's why there's never any alcohol in the home. So you wouldn't be the first one to learn as you go. But Merle I don't want you to marry me and raise this child just because you think you have to. We'd spend the rest of our lives together with you feeling like I trapped you, forced you into something you didn't agree to. I couldn't take it if you grew to hate me."

"Jesus Beth I would think ya know me well enough ta know I wouldn't agree ta marry ya an raise the baby if it wasn't in my heart. Now though, shit, ya got any idea how bad I hurt ta know that ya ain't got an ounce a faith in me or the man I am? I been tryin' now for a year ta be the man worthy of ya, and what this all says ta me is ya don't think I am. Ya don't think I'm enough of a man ta step up ta the plate an take care of you an our child. Fuck Baby."

Now she started crying harder, "I've totally messed this up haven't I Merle?"

"Yeah Beth it's screwed up all right, screwed up bad. The question is are you an me gonna try ta figure it out together or are ya just gonna bolt, run off ta Mama an Daddy like I'm some worthless asshole ya can't count on?"

There was a knock to the door, he rose up off his knees and she from the chair. She opened the door and Becky was standing there. Daryl was right behind her with his arms across his chest. "Beth I wanted ta see ya so bad I asked Daryl ta bring me ta town." And Beth knew what a big deal it was for Becky to come to town for any reason, and she saw the woman had tears in her eyes. They embraced.

Merle was hurt, he felt she'd simply dismissed him and his feelings. He felt like he'd been tricked, lied to and insulted. He looked to his brother, "C'mon let's you n me go grab a beer."

Daryl shook his head, "Can't Brother. Ya know I don't leave Becky alone in town, she ain't comfortable with that an I ain't either."

His wife touched his arm, "I'm okay Daryl I promise. Beth has your number if anythin' scares me, K?" He nodded but he didn't leave. He stared in her eyes for a minute, then he bent down and kissed her cheek. "Ya call me if ya need me, I ain't gonna stay gone long."

When the men had gone Becky looked to her friend, "What in the world is goin' on Beth?"

 **A/N hmmmm, I know what I think, but I'm really looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this one. Please leave a comment / review - Thanks _so_ much xo**

 **To see the chapter photo visit my tumblr at bethylmethbrick See you next Tuesday!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N Thank you all so much for the support you've given this story. Merle lovers are a small, mighty and terrific group. We know Merle rocks, even when he's bad, dang he's good! The last chapter left our ship in rough seas. We're picking up right where we left off to see if our couple can stay afloat.**

Beth told Becky everything she'd done including the poor decisions she'd made, and about her conversation in the park with Merle. And finally she admitted how she'd just shut him out completely.

Becky was stunned, "So ya mean what ya wanted all along was for the man ta marry ya, is that right?"

Beth nodded, she was ashamed to have to admit this to her friend.

"Well Beth why didn't ya just tell Merle ya wanted ta be his wife? The man has done everythin' ta try n make ya happy. Damn yer my friend an all but Beth ya ain't done right by him."

"Yer the first woman Merle ever had love for, ya know that, ya know he never dated. Ya know he didn't grow up in some kinda lovin' household with happy parents. Didn't ya expect he might need ya ta just tell him? Daryl don't do nuthin' but try ta make me happy an when I need sumthin', whether it's fabric from town or a warm hug an some reassurin' words, I tell him. Ya know why? Cuz that's fair ta him. He don't always know what I need or want. Sometimes he'll figure it out on his own, but he'd just as soon I told him. That makes it easier on everyone. They ain't mind readers they're men. It seems ta me like ya set Merle up ta disappoint ya."

"How many times since ya been with Merle has he had ta beg ya back cuz he done sumthin' or said sumthin' ya didn't like an ya shut him out? How many things 'bout his self has he changed ta try ta make ya happy? Did he ever keep tellin' ya 'no' ta sumthin' ya wanted him ta do or ta change? It might take him a while ta come around but he always does."

"So then ya trick him thinkin' you'll just go on ahead an let him get ya pregnant so he'll marry ya. Now ya brung an innocent child in on it. So when ya ask him does he wanna get married an have children an he says 'no,' ya decide ya ain't gonna tell him ya wanted ta marry him all along an that there's already a child."

"Ya ain't played fair Beth, ain't been fair at all. Ya owe Merle an apology an that baby yer carryin' too cuz ya messed with their lives."

Beth was crying now but Becky wasn't done saying her piece. "I love ya, yer my friend but maybe it's time ya did a little changin' yer own self. Maybe yer gonna have ta be the one beggin' this time. I don't blame Merle for bein' angry with ya."

The knock on the door told Becky it was Daryl, they had a signal. She stood to answer it.

He came in and immediately locked the door behind him. "Where's Merle?" Becky asked.

"He didn't wanna come back, said he'd fuckin' had it. I didn't push it, he's a mess an as pissed off as I ever seen him."

Beth was standing there now. She was so used to Merle always being so willing to make up to her, to say he was sorry. She'd just expected he'd come back and she would apologize and of course all would be forgiven. But apparently Merle really had had it. After the way Becky had put it she understood why.

Daryl looked to her then, "Ya know Merle he's done a lot for me an a lot for Becky, but I ain't never seen him care for anyone like he cares for you. Ya shoulda spoke ta him, told him what ya wanted from him. He'da done anythin' ta make ya happy, now I ain't sure what the fuck he's gonna do an he don't know either. Seems he's give up on ya girl, oh he'll wanna see the child, wanna pay for the child's needs but as far as you an him, shit I don't know."

"Ya know Merle's teased me my whole life that I don't talk, that I ain't got nuthin ta say. That ain't true. When sumthin's on my mind Becky she listens while I talk, then we talk about it together. When sumthin's on Becky's mind she talks an I listen, then we talk about it together. When sumthin' needs ta be decided, we talk about it together an we decide together. Maybe you folks that like ta talk so much should talk about what really matters to ya, what's important an shut up once in a while an listen ta each other."

"An I'll tell ya girl I asked Merle ta give up the dope for years, he never put it down for me. I told him he shouldn't oughta go hangin' around places like that Cinnamon Shack years ago, he didn't listen ta me, but he listened ta you. An that ain't all of it. The man has turned his whole life upside down ta try an make ya happy. What have ya changed for him, what's different for you? I'm always the first ta just assume when anythin' goes wrong it's on Merle. But this time girl well I think ya owe him an yerself some honesty."

"Me n Becky we're gonna go on home now, I gotta work come mornin'. I'm sorry, maybe y'all can still work this out. If ya need us call me."

Beth was relieved when they each gave her a hug. They were disappointed in her but they still cared for her.

When they left she sat down hard in the chair. She was an emotional wreck. It had all seemed so cut n dry when she'd first come up with her stupid plan. She'd get pregnant tell Merle and he'd marry her.

Instead she'd gotten pregnant without telling him what was going on. Then she'd hidden the fact that she was pregnant and asked him a casual question while they were walking through the park.

And thinking about it she knew Becky was right, if she would have just asked Merle to marry her a long time ago, if she would have told him that's what she was looking for in their relationship he would have done it. He might have been nervous, might have questioned it, but she knew he loved her and if that's what she wanted that's what he would have done. Then they could have had a child. Instead, yeah Becky was right about that too, she'd put an innocent child in the middle of this mixed up mess.

And Daryl was right, she'd known for a long time she had some power over Merle, she knew he did everything he could to try and make her happy because he was so afraid to lose her. She knew he was always bending over backwards even when it came to stupid little things. Shoot, he'd eaten dinner at the bistro many, many times. She'd kept from him the fact that she knew he hated it because she liked it and he was always so willing to take her, to make her happy.

She was starting to feel like she was the worst girlfriend, hell the worst person, in the world. She had just taken and let him do the giving. She'd let him always be the one to do the bending.

She decided right then she was doing this before she chickened out. She grabbed her jacket and her purse and she was out the door and on her way to his house.

* * *

He loved her, that hadn't stopped. You don't just shut that down in one evening. But he didn't think it was ever going to work with her. He'd been down this road with her too many times. He'd find he didn't meet her standards so he'd change, alter his lifestyle and beg her for another chance.

But this was different she'd said herself that she knew he would marry her if she would have told him the truth. Why had she set him up for a fall? Why wasn't she honest before she ever got pregnant? He would have married her if he'd known that's what she wanted. He would have done anything for her.

But shit this truth he'd learned it was bitter, it wasn't just something that rolled off. It cut clean to the bone. She'd planned to keep that baby away from him and not even fucking tell him he had a child. There was nothing okay about that.

He hadn't even gotten the bottle down from the cabinet. He was sick of being sick and feeling like crap every day and it wouldn't numb this pain anyway. He felt like he'd wasted a year of his life on a love that never was real. Oh it was real on his part, too real. But she couldn't possibly love him and do him this way. Make the decisions she'd made.

Shit she knew he always had a couple of condoms in his wallet, old habits die hard. They didn't have to pass on lovemaking just because she didn't have those pills. She'd done this, she'd planned it, and then she'd aced him out of the equation in a real bad way.

There was a knock on the door and he opened it to see her standing there. "What Beth? What now?"

"Please Merle, please can I talk to you?"

"I don't know Beth what the fuck is there left ta talk about? I know the deal, you know the deal. I'll pay everythin' for the baby, I'll go get the court ordered visitation rights an the child support shit worked out with the court. So yeah, I'd say we got it covered an there ain't nuthin' left ta talk about or decide."

She started to cry then but it wasn't working on him the way it always had, he just stood there with his hand on the door looking at her with cold, hard eyes. "Please Merle, let me try."

"Ya mean just the way you've always been so willin' ta let me try? Shit, twice I've broken into your house just so you'd lemme talk to ya. But I'm s'posed ta be all willin' ta be the dumb muther fucker who is happy ta give in ta whatever ya want. Without you breakin' a sweat. I never even thought about it that way, shit I's always so willin' ta change anythin' about me ya thought needed changin', willin' ta try an do everythin' your way then I found out all this shit today. An I know now there's always gonna be one more thing I need ta do, ta change, an then you'll still fuck me over an never even let me know why."

"I faced it an now ya need ta face it too, I ain't the man for ya Beth. I ain't ever gonna be able ta truly make ya happy or keep ya happy. Yer always gonna see me as a project an as little as this man here knows about love n relationships, I'm pretty fuckin' sure that ain't the way it's s'posed ta be. So yeah, no, just no. I'm done."

She couldn't believe that it was going to end this way. She thought she'd be fine walking away from him but now her heart was breaking. She didn't really think about what she was doing she just acted when she ran to him and threw her arms around his middle. She was holding onto him as tight as she could. He was not holding onto her, his arms were slack. "Please Merle _please_ don't give up on me. I know I was wrong and so unfair, I messed this up so badly. Please give me a chance please. You're right and I was so wrong please let me prove to you how much I love you, please. I want us to be a family, you, me and the baby. Please I love you and I'm begging you."

And as much as he didn't want to give into what she wanted what he did want was his child. He'd never planned to have one but now that he was going to he wanted to be a part of that child's life. He sure as hell didn't want to be that guy who just dropped in every couple of weeks.

"Alright, but we ain't cozyin' up. Come an we'll sit at the kitchen table."

He got them both some sweet tea and then he said to her, "Well ya said ya wanted ta talk, whaddya wanna say? How ya gonna try n justify this?"

"I can't there is no justification, I was wrong. I did a terrible thing and I didn't even realize how bad it was until Becky pointed it out to me, I didn't just hurt you I hurt our baby and I don't think I can ever forgive myself for that Merle. Ever. I involved an innocent little life in my stupid attempt to manipulate you into marrying me. I knew you'd do the right thing, and then I don't even know what came over me, why I tried to just get away and not even tell you. I guess it was guilt but even that doesn't make sense. Whatever it was there was no excuse for it. As badly as I want this back with us, as much as I want you and me and our baby to be a family I can't blame you if you can't forgive me."

"Everything you said, everything Becky said, everything Daryl said was the truth. I've been selfish Merle. You've given and I've taken. You've made all the changes and adjustments to try and make me happy and I haven't changed a thing. I'm like a 14 year old spoiled brat."

"And now I've gotten myself in another pickle. I quit my job, gave up my apartment and gave my furniture away. I'm so stupid I can't believe you ever loved me."

Merle was a mix and a mess of emotions now himself. He'd expected her to come up with excuses but instead she'd been hard on herself, self-deprecating, harsh.

He took a deep breath. "I'm pretty sure I'm the world's biggest idiot but I got an idea. Ya stay here, but not with me, not in my bed. I ain't ready ta be that way with ya. I'm too hurt, too angry ta wanna make love to ya or ta even hold ya. But we'll see if we can come ta some kinda way of bein' together, see if we can get it back." He did want to hold her, he did want to make love to her but he was so hurt and he just couldn't risk it. How did he know that in the morning her mind wouldn't have changed again.

"Ya go Saturday an ya tell your Mama n Daddy the truth about what happened an how it happened, cuz dammit I ain't takin' the blame for this. I know it's always easy ta blame ol' Merle every time the shit gets deep, but ol' Merle ain't willin' ta take the fall this time."

She nodded. "Can I stay tonight, maybe just borrow a t-shirt?"

"Yeah, okay I guess. Just don't try ta play me no more Beth, I'm done with that shit."

She cried silent tears, "I won't Merle, I promise I won't."

He went in his room, came out and handed her a t-shirt. "I'm locking it up an goin' ta bed. I've had enough today. Ya know where everythin' is, ya do what ya want." And just like that he headed to his room and shut the door.

She went in the guest room and the first thing she did was go in the bathroom and throw up. She didn't think it had a thing to do with the baby. This had everything to do with the high emotions of the day. She used her finger to brush her teeth and she thought about the first time she stayed in this house. She didn't want to think about those things, it was all just so hard.

When she crawled in that bed she never thought she'd sleep, she just figured she'd lay there and think of him. She did think of him, but the day had taken its toll and she was out in five minutes. She didn't wake again until 8:30, she couldn't believe it. She knew he'd be gone. No matter what else he did Merle always went to work and he was always on time. She should have appreciated those little things about him all along.

Again she went in the bathroom and brushed her teeth as best she could with her finger. She was starving and she knew she was home alone so she came out of the bedroom in nothing but that t-shirt.

There he sat just like he'd been that first morning reading the paper, drinking coffee and an old Hank Williams tune on the radio. He looked to her and she looked in his eyes and she couldn't help herself, she started crying again, and not just a little, the body shaking, oxygen stealing sobs.

Merle Dixon couldn't take another minute of that. He got up and he went to her, put his arms around her and held her close, "The fuck Baby, what're we gonna do now, how we gonna make this right between us?"

It took her a few minutes to gain enough composure to answer, "I don't know I just know that's what I want and I want you to want it too. I want you to want me again, in every way."

"I know I don't deserve it Merle, but please, please trust me. I promise I will never do you wrong again. I love you let me prove that to you."

Merle Dixon knew he was an idiot, a first class sucker, but fuck he'd been a sucker for this woman since the first time he laid eyes on her. He knew he'd never be free of her whether she was here physically or not, that made no difference.

It started because he let it start, he needed this, he needed her. He was kissing her with a mix of pure physical need, love and angry passion. He took her in his room and they made a kind of hard love. He knew he was taking it out on her in that bed but she was receptive, willing and responsive. Her emotions were as raw as his.

After they never said a word to one another, they just lay there in the bed and they held on.

Finally he spoke. "I'll go with ya ta your place, we'll get your boxes a stuff, whatever you was plannin' ta take ta your folks' place we'll bring it here. I still feel like ya oughta be the one ta speak ta yer folks 'bout what happened, but I'll drive ya if ya want. Then I think its best ya stay here, we'll see if we can keep gettin' along, see if there's any fuckin' way we can make this work. If after some time it seems like we can then I'd marry ya Beth, a course I would. I woulda done that long ago, I just didn't ever think of it really an ya never told me it was what ya wanted. I thought we was good, I thought you was happy. Shit I was happy."

"An I'm gonna be real honest with ya Beth. I still got a lotta anger 'bout all this an a kind of hurt an pain I ain't never felt. I don't like it, I don't want it, but I know it ain't goin' away easy. This here is gonna take time."

"I know Merle, I understand and I am so sorry. I'm going to do everything possible to show you how much I love you, to rebuild your faith and your trust in me. All I can do for now is promise you that I love you and I'll never again, ever just shut you out and not let you have your say, not share my feelings and thoughts with you. And I always want to hear your thoughts and your feelings. I love you so much Merle, I promise that's the Gods' truth."

 **Three Months Later**

That Saturday morning they were at Daryl and Becky's early to help with setting everything up, Michonne and Rick were there to help as well. Daryl was manning the smoker and Becky was putting the finishing touches on the cake. Little Nash Dixon was sound asleep in his cradle, not far from his Mama.

They'd wanted to have the wedding here at Daryl and Becky's to accommodate Becky's needs. She said she'd go wherever she had to just to be a part of the celebration, but Merle and Beth both knew how tough that would be on her and they didn't want that.

Merle Dixon was nervous but he was without doubt that this was what he wanted. He'd been in love with Beth Greene since the first time he'd seen her. They'd had some rough goes, but since the blow up over the baby, since they'd taken the advice of Daryl and Becky and started talking about what mattered and listening to each other, things were so good, solid.

That was part of the vow they would make to each other today. To talk and to listen. To bend when needed, and to never just shut down and shut the other person out.

This was the happiest day in Beth Greene's life. It wasn't just that she was marrying this man that she loved so much, but she was so happy he'd been able to forgive her. And their relationship was so much better now. They talked, they listened and she took care to think of Merle's needs as well as her own.

She loved staying home and taking care of their home and Merle and for now, at least until the baby was born she had time for her music and time for her painting. Merle always encouraged her in her artistic pursuits and she loved how he always wanted to hear her new songs, and how he still loved watching her paint. She shuddered at the idea that she'd almost lost this good man because of a couple of bad decisions. She promised both him and herself she'd never let anything like that happen again.

They hadn't invited a big crowd, that didn't really suit either one of them, plus they considered Becky. In fact they'd brought Beth's family here a couple of times so they could get to know Becky and Daryl, and so Becky would feel comfortable around them.

Her Mama and Daddy would be here, her sister Maggie and Maggie's husband Glenn, her brother Shawn was coming solo, Rick and Michonne of course, Becky's family and Agnes.

Daryl would be standing up with Merle and Becky with her. Her Daddy was an ordained minister and he'd officiate.

The brief ceremony was about to begin. Merle was standing with her Daddy to one side of him and Daryl to the other. Merle wore a suit, as did her Daddy. Daryl had a shirt with sleeves intact that Becky had made him and a clean pair of jeans. That was good enough for Merle and Beth.

Becky's Mama was holding little Nash and everyone was smiling waiting for Becky and Beth to walk out of the cabin.

Becky came first in a dress that reached just below her knees and her sleeves came only to her elbows. For some reason she didn't even understand, since Nash had been born she'd lost some of her need to keep her body so hidden under heavy clothes.

Then came Beth and when Merle saw her his smile went ear to ear. The woman was a beauty. She'd been apprehensive about wearing white, she was five and a half months pregnant, but Merle had insisted she should wear what she wanted. No one there was going to be worrying about that.

He was so glad she'd listened because there was nothing about her that wasn't beautiful, wasn't perfect. And he was quite fond of that rounded little belly.

The ceremony was short, love-filled and just what they'd had in mind. All either of them had really wanted was to just make this commitment, for themselves and that baby they were so looking forward to.

The party was as nice as the ceremony itself. Daryl and smoke cooked venison roast and Becky and Michonne had made all the trimmings. After the party Merle and Beth were going to the beach for a week to just relax and enjoy each other. They thought that was important for them. No work, no phones, just them.

 **Four Months Later**

Merle was in that delivery room with her, just like he'd told her he would be. He'd been to all those classes and he knew what was expected of him. What he thought he was prepared for was what she'd be going through, but no, there was no way they could have prepared him for this.

She was in pain and he could hardly stand seeing that, he wanted to fix it and right now. But he played it cool, he didn't want to upset her he was there to support her. So he just let her squeeze the blood right out of his hand, he had no idea how strong a grip his wife had. Then during a particularly rough pain, when she said "Oh shit," as upset as he was to see her hurting, it was all he could do not to laugh. He had never heard that word out of her.

After a very long labor that baby girl finally arrived. Merle was overwhelmed with the love he immediately felt for their daughter. They hadn't known if they were having a boy or a girl, but they had names picked out for both.

He'd refused Merle and she'd refused Beth, other than that they'd been open. She remembered him admitting to her that when he first saw her place he hadn't liked all those flowered sheets and bedding, and the floral decorations at her house. But he'd grown to think that was all just right, it suited her and so it suited him. And that's when she'd laughed and suggested the name and he agreed.

He kissed his exhausted wife, "Ya done so good Cupcake, damn you're a tough one. And our little girl, aw Beth she's a beauty just like her Mama. Our sweet little Rose."

 **A/N Aw, pity the man who ever tries to date sweet little Rose! This concludes our story. I hope you've enjoyed it. I know there are those who may think I was a little rough on Beth, but I did think that in spite of his often dumbass ways, Merle always did the best a man like Merle knows how to do. And what she did would be hard for any man to forgive. But love conquers all. I don't have a Merle story I'm working on so if you have a one shot or multi chapter idea for him please send them my way. If they fit into my style and my interpretation of Merle, I'll be happy to try my best for you. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story, I really do appreciate you. Kindly leave a comment / review. xo**

 **To see the chapter photo please visit my tumblr at bethylmethbrick . To ensure you get story updates and new story alerts please follow me here or on my tumblr blog. Love all y'all! gneebee xo**


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